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  • Lola Handcock
    Forum Member
    • Oct 2009
    • 739

    #61
    Re: Special Tithe

    Rev Rodimer.
    That is a old picture them boys got new hair cuts ,a lot shorter now they got mullets.
    I will call Ma and tell her to take away the play tatoo set.I did not know it was wrong I am sorry if I have sinned.

    Comment

    • Lola Handcock
      Forum Member
      • Oct 2009
      • 739

      #62
      Re: Special Tithe

      Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
      WHAT?
      oops you better talk to Emil lest I over step my bounds again.And get in more trouble that I am already in. The good news is Emil and me are getting hitched Thursday night.Pastor Ezekiel is going to marry us.

      Comment

      • Emil Sledge
        struggling to make sense for Jesus
        Forum Member
        • Sep 2009
        • 257

        #63
        Re: Special Tithe

        Now Lola dont you go arguin with the Pastors. They know best and Rev. Rodimer is right. We oughta see the LBC doctors just to be sure everything gonna keep workin just like it did last night. Im real sorry I hurt you and it probly a good idea to have the LBC doctor see about why you was hurtin a little too. Fact is Im a litle sore too today and maybe he got a salve for that too.

        Rev. Rodimer me and Lola we gonna get married tomorrow night at the LBC and were so dang happy. Then well go to the LBC doctors on Friday I promise.

        Lola call your ma and tell her we gonna sent her some money for hair cuts for the two little men cause they do look a little shaggy. Me too I need a hair cut proper for the weddin and if you wanna go and get your self all gussyed up for tomorow night too well you just go head and do that but aint no hair dresser gonna make you look any finer than you do.

        Thanks Rev Rodimer for all your advise and suport. You remind us why we love Jesus in the frist place.
        GOT DEMONS? WE CAN HELP! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT THEM ALONE! JESUS WANTS YOU TO BE RID OF THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO IT ALONE! LET US HELP YOU RIGHT AWAY!

        Comment

        • Emil Sledge
          struggling to make sense for Jesus
          Forum Member
          • Sep 2009
          • 257

          #64
          Re: Special Tithe

          Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
          WHAT?
          Dont pay her no never mind Rev. Rodimer. She aint no doctor and neether am I. Shed be an awful pretty one though I tell you. Last night were a mis take ans there gonna be no more sinnin until we is properly hitched. This mornin after breakfast were a mis take too. And also while lunch was cookin that were also a mis take. but no more till after the weddin. No more. No Lola! No more! LOLA!
          GOT DEMONS? WE CAN HELP! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT THEM ALONE! JESUS WANTS YOU TO BE RID OF THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO IT ALONE! LET US HELP YOU RIGHT AWAY!

          Comment

          • Rev. M. Rodimer
            Honorary True Christian™
            Forum Member
            • May 2008
            • 13996

            #65
            Re: Special Tithe

            Remember, Emil:

            Bible boring? Nonsense!
            Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
            You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

            Comment

            • Emil Sledge
              struggling to make sense for Jesus
              Forum Member
              • Sep 2009
              • 257

              #66
              Re: Special Tithe

              Um I aint real sure I get that chart there Rev. Rodimer. But anyhoo, me and Lola we had us a real nice day to gether. We went over to the Morning Star Baptist church to see whats eatin at Marge but she werent around there. Pastor Mick he was there and he said hed could go ahead and get us hitched up right there on the spot but we said no Pastor Zeke gonna do that tomorrow night in Freehold. He said that he got a call from Pastor Merle today and Pastor Merle was mighty upset when he found out that the fellers from Boston took my laptop that was really his old one. He told Pastor Mick he cant never come back and he got him a real nice place to live in some place he called Can Coon. Well me and Lola is dog tired from runnin around all day. Im off to my own room 292 and there aint no way we gonna be doin any more sinnin tonight like last night. Lola shes all ready sleepin on the couch Ill just put a blanket over her and sneak out sos I dont give her a start.

              Night all! Tomorow night we will be Mr. and Mrs. Emil Sledge and we can start tryiin to make more soldiers for Jesus Christ. Then on Friday we see the doctors at LBC and make sure we both firein on all 8 cilinders.
              GOT DEMONS? WE CAN HELP! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT THEM ALONE! JESUS WANTS YOU TO BE RID OF THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO IT ALONE! LET US HELP YOU RIGHT AWAY!

              Comment

              • Joshua Brooks
                Christ Certified Ex-Negro - A white man's white man
                True Christian™
                • Jul 2007
                • 257

                #67
                Re: Special Tithe

                Originally posted by Emil Sledge View Post
                Um I aint real sure I get that chart there Rev. Rodimer. But anyhoo, me and Lola we had us a real nice day to gether. We went over to the Morning Star Baptist church to see whats eatin at Marge but she werent around there. Pastor Mick he was there and he said hed could go ahead and get us hitched up right there on the spot but we said no Pastor Zeke gonna do that tomorrow night in Freehold. He said that he got a call from Pastor Merle today and Pastor Merle was mighty upset when he found out that the fellers from Boston took my laptop that was really his old one. He told Pastor Mick he cant never come back and he got him a real nice place to live in some place he called Can Coon. Well me and Lola is dog tired from runnin around all day. Im off to my own room 292 and there aint no way we gonna be doin any more sinnin tonight like last night. Lola shes all ready sleepin on the couch Ill just put a blanket over her and sneak out sos I dont give her a start.

                Night all! Tomorow night we will be Mr. and Mrs. Emil Sledge and we can start tryiin to make more soldiers for Jesus Christ. Then on Friday we see the doctors at LBC and make sure we both firein on all 8 cilinders.
                I don't think Pastor Ezekiel performs weddings for godless sinners. I'm fairly certain that security is not going to let you inside the gates of Freehold, much less inside the main sanctuary. The "Unsaved Stockade" southwest of entry control point 1 across the lake is about as far as you'll get without a pass. That's where all the negro and mexican community grounds workers and their families sleep at night. I think you and Lola will fit in just fine there.
                Last edited by Joshua Brooks; 10-29-2009, 02:23 PM.

                Comment

                • Emil Sledge
                  struggling to make sense for Jesus
                  Forum Member
                  • Sep 2009
                  • 257

                  #68
                  Re: Special Tithe

                  Originally posted by Joshua Brooks View Post
                  I don't think Pastor Ezekiel performs weddings for godless sinners. I'm fairly certain that security is not going to let you inside the gates of Freehold, much less inside the main sanctuary. The "Unsaved Stockade" south west of the of entry control point 1 across the lake is about as far as you'll get without a pass. That's where all the negro and mexican community grounds workers and their families sleep at night. I think you and Lola will fit in just fine there.
                  Thank you for the directions Joshua but Pastor Zeke he all really said hed marry us up proper this very evening at Freehold. We promised him a special tithe and we aint gonna dis apoint him no way uh uh. Lola shes packin up the truck with all our stuff and we aint comin back here to Davenport. We got our brand new doublewide a waitin for us in DesMoin right near Freehold and I cant wait to meet all the nice folks from LBC who been so nice to us and your invited to Joshua. Rev. Rodimer he got us hooked up with a couple a the finest LBC doctors sos they can check and be sure all our parts is in perfect and Godly workin order. I wonder if Lola is done haulin all our stuff down them stairs to the truck yet. I sure hope so. She is so good to me and we sure lookin forward to makin more soldiers for Jesus. Anyhoo, about the sinnin part, I discused that with a couple a the pastors and they all seem to think we can smooth things over with Jesus if we tithe like were planin to so I aint to worryed. Last night didnt go just like I planed cause Lola that girl acidentaly locked her self outa her room and had to use my room to sleep in but the tithing thing aint gonna be a problem at all. Lola says she finaly got the truck all loaded up with all our stuff so FREEHOLD HERE WE COME!
                  GOT DEMONS? WE CAN HELP! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT THEM ALONE! JESUS WANTS YOU TO BE RID OF THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO IT ALONE! LET US HELP YOU RIGHT AWAY!

                  Comment

                  • Joshua Brooks
                    Christ Certified Ex-Negro - A white man's white man
                    True Christian™
                    • Jul 2007
                    • 257

                    #69
                    Re: Special Tithe

                    Originally posted by Emil Sledge View Post
                    Thank you for the directions Joshua but Pastor Zeke he all really said hed marry us up proper this very evening at Freehold. We promised him a special tithe and we aint gonna dis apoint him no way uh uh. Lola shes packin up the truck with all our stuff and we aint comin back here to Davenport. We got our brand new doublewide a waitin for us in DesMoin right near Freehold and I cant wait to meet all the nice folks from LBC who been so nice to us and your invited to Joshua. Rev. Rodimer he got us hooked up with a couple a the finest LBC doctors sos they can check and be sure all our parts is in perfect and Godly workin order. I wonder if Lola is done haulin all our stuff down them stairs to the truck yet. I sure hope so. She is so good to me and we sure lookin forward to makin more soldiers for Jesus. Anyhoo, about the sinnin part, I discused that with a couple a the pastors and they all seem to think we can smooth things over with Jesus if we tithe like were planin to so I aint to worryed. Last night didnt go just like I planed cause Lola that girl acidentaly locked her self outa her room and had to use my room to sleep in but the tithing thing aint gonna be a problem at all. Lola says she finaly got the truck all loaded up with all our stuff so FREEHOLD HERE WE COME!
                    The Unsaved Stockades are technically part of Freehold. The land is owned by AmeriChrist Ltd and pay rent and all. They just aren't part of Freehold Gated (the real Freehold). There is a small chapel over there for the coloreds and mexicans. Perhaps Pastor Ezekiel will perform the ceremony there. You aren't a bastard, are you? I figured I'd ask seeing as you seem the type. just to be sure. Bastards aren't allowed within any congregation of the Lord and neither are their descendents up to the 10th generation. So even if your mother, father, grandmother, great great grandmother, etc. were bastards, that makes you a bastard by association. I'm sure the DOF will run a background check on you anyway. Well, anyways, welcome to Freehold.

                    How much do you plan on tithing, anyway?

                    Comment

                    • Rev. M. Rodimer
                      Honorary True Christian™
                      Forum Member
                      • May 2008
                      • 13996

                      #70
                      Re: Special Tithe

                      Originally posted by Emil Sledge View Post
                      Thank you for the directions Joshua but Pastor Zeke he all really said hed marry us up proper this very evening at Freehold. We promised him a special tithe and we aint gonna dis apoint him no way uh uh.
                      What's the "special tithe" you're giving Pastor Zeke?

                      Will both of you be tithing equally?
                      Bible boring? Nonsense!
                      Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                      You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                      Comment

                      • Lola Handcock
                        Forum Member
                        • Oct 2009
                        • 739

                        #71
                        Re: Special Tithe

                        I will leave all money matters to Emil.As that is the way it should be! In a few hours after we are hitched all proper I will sign the title of our home over to Emil as well as our new club cab truck and on Friday we will go to the Bank in Freehold and open a checking and savings account In Emils name.He can give me cash for food and what not.If I need clothes and such He will give me the money fer it.Ain't that the way it should be?

                        Comment

                        • Remy Lebeau
                          LBU Professor and Biblical Wordsmith Extraordinaire
                          President of the Ex-Negro Academy Alumni Association
                          Freehold Best Tan Award winner, 10 yrs running
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 2058

                          #72
                          Re: Special Tithe

                          Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                          Remember, Emil:

                          That seems to be an outdated chart, Rev. While it is true that the green lines indicate no breach of virginity, they can, however, still lead to damnation. And damaged goods are damaged goods even if the packaging isn't torn.
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                          • Emil Sledge
                            struggling to make sense for Jesus
                            Forum Member
                            • Sep 2009
                            • 257

                            #73
                            Re: Special Tithe

                            Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                            What's the "special tithe" you're giving Pastor Zeke?

                            Will both of you be tithing equally?
                            Rev. M. Rodimer you have been so dag gone nice to us what with makin the arangemints for our medicle care and all the advise you have been willin to share. The whole LBC has been Heaven sent and if it werent for the LBC and this forum Pastor Merle over to Davenport hooked me up to I woulda never met Lola. Seein as how we got us a home now real close to Freehold and a real nice truck to get us to Sunday services and all the other wonderfull things Landover Baptist Church has to offer we sure aint a gonna scimp on our tithe. But I aint never been real sure about money stuff and I wanna talk to a LBC money adviser like Pastor Zeke said so he can help me to plan our tithin. Lola says we got a lots a money even after she payed for the doublewide and the truck and all the furnitur we gonna buy tomorow and gas every day for the truck. Pastor Zeke he said he was gonna write down that money fellers name and number for me after the weddin this fine evening but he left right after the weddin and forgot. Do you know Rev. Rodimer who he is and how I can get hold a him? I know we got some smoothin over to do with Jesus cause a leavin the light on the other night and such so I wanna make sure we can write a chek and square things up right proper with our Lord and Savoir Jesus Christ. You all ready been so help full I kinda hate to ask but we dont know many folks here yet and I trust you and Pastor Zeke he said I can trust you no question amen.
                            GOT DEMONS? WE CAN HELP! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT THEM ALONE! JESUS WANTS YOU TO BE RID OF THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO IT ALONE! LET US HELP YOU RIGHT AWAY!

                            Comment

                            • Pastor Ezekiel
                              Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                               
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 78556

                              #74
                              Re: Special Tithe

                              Just bring your checkbook to the wedding and we'll get you all set up, pal.
                              Who Will Jesus Damn?

                              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                              Comment

                              • Emil Sledge
                                struggling to make sense for Jesus
                                Forum Member
                                • Sep 2009
                                • 257

                                #75
                                Re: Special Tithe

                                Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                Just bring your checkbook to the wedding and we'll get you all set up, pal.
                                Thats what you said when your was all done marryin us too but then you took off outa there so quick we never could catch up to you to pay for the swervice or nothin. . You wasnt too steady on your feet though like you was dizzy or somethin and we sure do hope your feelin a lots better this morning. Me and Lola wanna thank you again and we also wanna make sure you know we gonna live up to your expectations of us that we gonna tithe like theres no tomorow. We still do wanna know the name a that LBC money adviser fella you mentioned before.
                                GOT DEMONS? WE CAN HELP! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT THEM ALONE! JESUS WANTS YOU TO BE RID OF THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO IT ALONE! LET US HELP YOU RIGHT AWAY!

                                Comment

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