Was Jesus a velociraptor?

[Phillis]

Hello, LBC. I apologize for not making an introductory thread, but I like to skip that nonsense and get right to discussion!

Now, this is a radical concept that not many of you will accept at first because perhaps you have just never thought about, but bear with me. It will all make sense by the time you're done reading this thread.

The question: Was Jesus a velociraptor?

It's an honest question.

This is sparked by the findings of velociraptor fossils in soil all over the world. Obviously there was no "age of the dinosaurs" as science so claims. The Bible tells us that the world was conceived 6,000 years ago and that's final! But then why do velociraptor bones exist? My conclusion: They are the bones of our Savior.

I read the Bible every day. In fact I have done so for the past 2 years. And I have yet to come across a scripture that says Jesus was not a velociraptor.

Think about it. Jesus is going to kick some major unsaved rear end when he comes back right? A normal man cannot kill many until he gets tired and must rest. But from what we can tell about raptors, a velociraptor can kill men after another without getting tired. It just makes sense that he would be such a natural killer.

Surprisingly enough, this is not a new concept. Some artists that were around during the life of Christ have depicted "Raptor Jesus" in their paintings. Example: http://www.ghostofaflea.com/archives/RaptorJesus.jpg

It's my honest, humble interpretation of the Bible and all I'm doing here is sharing my findings and ideas with the rest of the Baptist Community. Please don't flame me for it. Just think about it.

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: Was Jesus a velociraptor?

Whether or not you want to skip what you deem is "nonsense", we DO have an introduction forum for good reason. There is a little thing called common courtesy appreciated around here.

Please use it.

YIC,

Mrs.P.Wintersnow

[Nobar King]

Re: Was Jesus a velociraptor?

I am truly sorry that the search function was down between 12:12 am and 12:19 am today. If if were not for that you would have been able to find out the answer to your own question.

I'm going to pray that a moderator is able to re-start the search function as soon as possible so you might find an answer to your stupendous question.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Was Jesus a velociraptor?

The question: Was Jesus a velociraptor?

No. In the Bible, Jesus was born of Mary...can a woman give birth a velociraptor? No. Also, Jesus speaks throughout the Bible. Velociraptors cannot speak. The Bible mentions Jesus's genealogy as completely human. And so forth.

It's an honest question.

It's an honestly stupid question, yes.

This is sparked by the findings of velociraptor fossils in soil all over the world. Obviously there was no "age of the dinosaurs" as science so claims. The Bible tells us that the world was conceived 6,000 years ago and that's final! But then why do velociraptor bones exist? My conclusion: They are the bones of our Savior.

You actually make a good point here. The world is indeed 6,000 years old so dinosaur fossils are obviously from a time since creation. But, what are known as "dinosaurs" are known in the Bible as "dragons". The Bible references dragons many times.

I read the Bible every day. In fact I have done so for the past 2 years. And I have yet to come across a scripture that says Jesus was not a velociraptor.

Actually, there is Scripture, you just have to read it closely. Dinosaurs are actually dragons right? And we know in Revelation that Satan took the guise of a dragon.

Revelation 12:3-7
3And there appeared another wonder in heaven; and behold a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns upon his heads. 4And his tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth: and the dragon stood before the woman which was ready to be delivered, for to devour her child as soon as it was born.
5And she brought forth a man child, who was to rule all nations with a rod of iron: and her child was caught up unto God, and to his throne.
6And the woman fled into the wilderness, where she hath a place prepared of God, that they should feed her there a thousand two hundred and threescore days.
7And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels,

But, we know Satan and Jesus are two different people (obviously). So how could Jesus be a velociraptor/dragon/Satan? The Bible refutes your argument.

Think about it. Jesus is going to kick some major unsaved rear end when he comes back right? A normal man cannot kill many until he gets tired and must rest. But from what we can tell about raptors, a velociraptor can kill men after another without getting tired. It just makes sense that he would be such a natural killer.

Indeed, Jesus will kick some major unsaved rear end. But, Jesus is no "normal man" like you claim, which makes me cast doubts that you've read the Bible for two years. A velociraptor is more powerful than a normal man, yes, but Jesus trumps them all. He is both man and God. There is nothing greater than God.

Surprisingly enough, this is not a new concept. Some artists that were around during the life of Christ have depicted "Raptor Jesus" in their paintings. Example: http://www.ghostofaflea.com/archives/RaptorJesus.jpg

No, rather these are modern forgeries of old artwork. Even, assuming old paintings showed this, who are you going to trust.....The Word of God(r) that is the King James Bible, or some dago sodomite who paints Jesus?

[Talitha]

Re: Was Jesus a velociraptor?

Let's see, shall we?

Jesus.........


Velociraptor........



Nope.

[Warner S. Davidson]

Re: Was Jesus a velociraptor?

I am new here and not wishing to overstep many of the teachings of many in here but Sister Talitha makes a concise and very compelling argument

Sister Talitha you are a truly marvelous, learned, interesting and assertive True Christian(tm) lady......

[Talitha]

Re: Was Jesus a velociraptor?

I am new here and not wishing to overstep many of the teachings of many in here but Sister Talitha makes a concise and very compelling argument

Sister Talitha you are a truly marvelous, learned, interesting and assertive True Christian™ lady......

Thank you Mr Swishy.
Whilst being a lowly Female and not being allowed to teach, I do find that occasionally one has to state the blinking obvious.
However, if the OP had asked if Jesus ever walked with a Velociraptor I would almost certainly have said yes.

[Warner S. Davidson]

Re: Was Jesus a velociraptor?

Thank you Mr Swishy.
Whilst being a lowly Female and not being allowed to teach, I do find that occasionally one has to state the blinking obvious.
However, if the OP had asked if Jesus ever walked with a Velociraptor I would almost certainly have said yes.

Sister Talitha, thank you for your response

Let me summarise that as your signature line clearly states:

Deaconess -
Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister

Never truer words spoken

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Was Jesus a velociraptor?

You actually make a good point here. The world is indeed 6,000 years old so dinosaur fossils are obviously from a time since creation. But, what are known as "dinosaurs" are known in the Bible as "dragons". The Bible references dragons many times.

Close but no cigar... the Earth is in fact 5,000 years old but the dinosaurs did co-exist with man

A Condensed History of the World
Five Thousand Years Ago:
The Beginning

Our Noodly Creator then placed fossils, hidden under the earth’s surface, knowing that they would later be found – thus, seemingly proving that these creatures existed some time ago. Dinosaur bones, for example, were placed so well and in such numbers that it’s widely believed dinosaurs roamed the earth millions of years ago. Interestingly, dinosaurs did exist, but not millions of years ago, because, of course, how could they have existed before the earth was even here? In reality they lived with us, alongside – and occasionally on top of – humans around three thousand years ago.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Was Jesus a velociraptor?

Hello, LBC. I apologize for not making an introductory thread, but I like to skip that nonsense and get right to discussion!

Your apology is NOT accepted.

This is a Christian forum, not a place for Godmockers to spew hatred and attempt to turn folks away from Jesus with infantile jokes.

Now go post an introduction and tell us about yourself. Why do you hate Jesus so? Which communist country are you from? Why are you here?

[Phillis]

Re: Was Jesus a velociraptor?

Let's see, shall we?

Jesus.........
[ATTACH]12584[/ATTACH]

Velociraptor........
[ATTACH]12585[/ATTACH]


Nope.

That is all.

[Nobar King]

Re: Was Jesus a velociraptor?

That is all.

So, you deny your own statement? What a genius.