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Dear Friends,
Great news! The Landover Baptist Legal Consortium has won a major victory in the war against moral decay.
Mrs. Eileen Phibbs of Cedar Rapids, Iowa had started to wonder where all of her Lane Bryant catalogs had been going. One day, horrifically, the truth came out. Mrs. Phibbs walked in on her teenage son, Jim, abusing himself as his moon calf eyes gazed lustfully at the plus-sized models.
Naturally, Mrs. Phibbs called the police. Jim had been having sex with himself even though, at 14, Jim was too young to give valid consent! The Cedar Rapids Police, I'm ashamed to say, hung up on Mrs. Phibbs. She called back, frantic, saying that she had caught her son commiting STATUTORY RAPE on himself. The police threatened this Godly woman with legal action if she did not let this m*****turbory atrocity proceed.
So, Mrs. Phibbs called us. Following a PROLONGED bout of litigation, we have just gotten a nationwide litigation class certified against Lane Bryant, with a subclass certified against the Cedar Rapids Police. The conspiracy to aid and abet statutory self-rape will be CRUSHED!
Your in Him,
BABS
Great news! The Landover Baptist Legal Consortium has won a major victory in the war against moral decay.
Mrs. Eileen Phibbs of Cedar Rapids, Iowa had started to wonder where all of her Lane Bryant catalogs had been going. One day, horrifically, the truth came out. Mrs. Phibbs walked in on her teenage son, Jim, abusing himself as his moon calf eyes gazed lustfully at the plus-sized models.
Naturally, Mrs. Phibbs called the police. Jim had been having sex with himself even though, at 14, Jim was too young to give valid consent! The Cedar Rapids Police, I'm ashamed to say, hung up on Mrs. Phibbs. She called back, frantic, saying that she had caught her son commiting STATUTORY RAPE on himself. The police threatened this Godly woman with legal action if she did not let this m*****turbory atrocity proceed.
So, Mrs. Phibbs called us. Following a PROLONGED bout of litigation, we have just gotten a nationwide litigation class certified against Lane Bryant, with a subclass certified against the Cedar Rapids Police. The conspiracy to aid and abet statutory self-rape will be CRUSHED!
Your in Him,
BABS
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