[SUV]

Re: (HELP ME) COOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

Is the fun going to start SOON?

The Culhanes of Cornfield County

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: (HELP ME) COOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

Only when it's fresh. Once it's dry it's a grain, which is basically beer that hasn't gotten around to fermenting yet.

The one that really drives into an Iowa Corn Frenzy™ is something that I don't even know the name of. It's sort of like puffed corn, but it's crunchy, and still in the kernal shape (but dry, so it's NOT a vegetable). I buy in trail mix form, and throw the rest of the mix away. Just WHAT is that manna from Heaven called (so that I can find it and buy it)? It looks exactly like this:




"...the people went about and gathered it, and ground it in mills or beat it in mortars, and boiled it in pots, and made cakes of it; and the taste of it was like the taste of cakes baked with oil." (Numbers 11:7-8)

CCCCCCCCCCCCCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRR NNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!

Jeb,

I am having a problem following you here; it sounds like you are saying corn is what the Bible calls mana and the American Indians pre-stole corn from us Christians like they pre-stole North America?

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: (HELP ME) COOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

Didn't the GODLY President Bush like corn-holing?

If President Bush likes it - I like it.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: (HELP ME) COOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

No, that "not" is quite deliberate. We first thought she had senior dementia until she start talking a lot like Jeb is.

This some kind of marketing thing?

Cornography?

[Sally Paulson]

Re: (HELP ME) COOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

The one that really drives into an Iowa Corn Frenzy™

Is that anything like an Alaskan Salmon Frenzy? Because that may be fun to imagine, but when the Conservative Ladies Committee ended up falling into one....We just couldn't look at each other afterwards. I mean, you know how much it hurts when you bite your tongue? Imagine that times 100.*

*Or is it divided by? To the power of? I wish a had a big man brain to figure out this math stuff.

[Don Bozo el Guapo]

Re: (HELP ME) COOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

As a True Christian™, I am careful about my feelings for corn. The occasional cob of corn can be an acceptable component of a Christian diet. However, the desire for a bountiful harvest must find expression in prayer, and not in any of the following:

1. The construction of fertility symbols

2. The introduction of fertility symbols into the rectum

3. The worship of corn as an ithyphallic icon.

4. The reshaping of corn into vodou paraphernalia.

5. Seeking auspicious portents by divining by human or animal entrails or by observing the flight of birds.

6. Necromancy or veneration of the dead

7. The sacrifice of rum and chickens to strange gods.

8. Supporting the unionization of migrant farmers, esp. by voting democrat.

9. A belief in agricultural spiritualism

10. Harvest festivals, the construction of corn dollies, or initiation into the heathen Old Cornwall Society.

11. Observation of the chink Moon Festival, the largest harvest festival in the world and an affront to God.

12. Animistic belief in the Corn Spirit or Corn Mother.

The list goes on.

Garcias A Dios, no mention of Jack Daniels or Tortillas.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: (HELP ME) COOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

Garcias A Dios, no mention of Jack Daniels or Tortillas.

Don Bozo, welcome back! Have you found Jesus yet?

[SUV]

Re: (HELP ME) COOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

Don Bozo, welcome back! Have you found Jesus yet?

Apparently Jesus has not found Don Bozo yet!

(Que chiste, mi chico)

[Don Bozo el Guapo]

Re: (HELP ME) COOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

Don Bozo, welcome back! Have you found Jesus yet?

Apparently Jesus has not found Don Bozo yet!

(Que chiste, mi chico)

Hey kids this is Meh-hi-co aqui, you cant swing a gato without hittin a Hey-zoos or dos.