Cheap Swords

[Catherine Moore]

Hi, I'm hoping someone can help. I'm struggling a bit with following Luke 22:36.

I actually owned a cape from an old Wonder Woman costume I'd bought one Halloween (obviously this was before turning to God). I managed to sell that but even when I threw in the rest of the costume I only got fifteen bucks (it would have been less but thankfully the man didn't want it washed. In fact, he specifically asked that it wasn't. What a piece of fortune).

The cheapest sword I can find is thirty nine pounds.

So does Luke mean "sell your cape and use that money to buy a sword" or are there two seperate commands here "sell cape. buy sword". If its the first, can anyone point me to a better offer? Where did you all get yours from?

Does "garment" mean anything other than cape as well? I was told that the word used there means cape but I don't really understand how it could - it pretty clearly says "garment". I just thought it was better to be safe than sorry.

[Roberta]

Re: Cheap Swords

I managed to sell that but even when I threw in the rest of the costume I only got fifteen pounds (it would have been less but thankfully the man didn't want it washed. In fact, he specifically asked that it wasn't. What a piece of fortune).

A man bought a woman's costume and didn't want it washed! Don't you think that a trifle kinky, Sister?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Cheap Swords

Scripture should always be taken literally. So how much money you get for the garment is not relevant. You have to buy the sword. Most of us buy them at Bob4God, but I think he only sells to True Christians™.

Psalm 12:6-7 "The words of the LORD are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Thou shalt keep them, O LORD, thou shalt preserve them from this generation for ever."

[Noah Sole]

Re: Cheap Swords

How can anyone say that the Bible is not relevant to the present day. Did you know that a scrip issue (also called a capitalisation issue or a bonus issue) is the issue of new shares to existing shareholders at no charge, pro rata to their existing shareholdings.

It is miraculous that the Bible predicted this 2000 years ago when no-one knew about shares and stuff. Glory!!!

Unfortunately I know nothing about the price of swords so can't help you other than that.

YIC

[Catherine Moore]

Re: Cheap Swords

A man bought a woman's costume and didn't want it washed! Don't you think that a trifle kinky, Sister?

How so?

I guess I'll try Bob4God first - if the money I got for the garment isn't relevant maybe he'll be willing to trade with me if I make a donation to Landover so one of the pastor's will OK it. Worth a try at least.

[Mrs. Naomi Portway]

Re: Cheap Swords

Jesus has a mouth sword. I wonder if its hard to talk with a mouth sword.


Revelation 1
16 And he had in his right hand seven stars: and out of his mouth went a sharp twoedged sword: and his countenance was as the sun shineth in his strength.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Cheap Swords

You could try selling more of your garments and buying more swords.

Imagine it: barely any clothes (so you don't need to go out) and a lot of swords so you can fend off basket ball playing, home intruding Nigra rapist (they love the blonde hair, I expect).

You're good either way!

YIC

[Catherine Moore]

Re: Cheap Swords

Well, the generous man I spoke with last time was quite eager to buy more, so that is always on option but Roberta has got me a bit concerned about it.

[Catherine Moore]

Re: Cheap Swords

Naomi, dear, I'm really sorry I overlooked your post.

You or I might find it difficult but not Jesus! The only people who can't understand him are people who can't can't actually hear him - John 8:43

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Well, the generous man I spoke with last time was quite eager to buy more, so that is always on option but Roberta has got me a bit concerned about it.

Well I know I've never really grasped feminine thinking (otherwise I would have seen what my cow of an ex-wife was up to ) but I fail to see what desserts have to do with the situation.

YIC

[WWJDnow]

Re: Cheap Swords

I actually owned a cape from an old Wonder Woman costume I'd bought one Halloween (obviously this was before turning to God). I managed to sell that but even when I threw in the rest of the costume I only got fifteen pounds....

You got 15 pounds for a used Wonder Woman cape? That's impressive! Were you a Jewess before you were saved?

The cheapest sword I can find is thirty nine pounds.

If you were to buy a more expensive cape, you could sell that, then buy the sword. I don't know whether Jesus would mind if you combined the proceeds from the two capes or if you need to sell one for at least 39 pounds. Maybe the good Landover pastors can help with that.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Cheap Swords

Sister, the text does not appear to limit you to the proceeds of the sales of your garment. You can use whatever is in your purse or other money you have available. Jesus laid out a series of options (in order) from which to fund the sword purchase.

Do you have any puppies you can sell? Or children? (You can't sell those, but you can rent them by the hour to do yard work and such.) Sell/rent, then put the money in your purse, then use it to buy the sword.

[Catherine Moore]

Re: Cheap Swords

Ah, I think I had read it wrong. I'd read "if you have a purse, take that and your scrip. If you don't have a sword, sell a garment and buy one."

I clearly have a long way to go before God stops me from being deluded - 2 Thessalonians 2:11. Thank you so much for your help though Reverand.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Cheap Swords

Ah, I think I had read it wrong. I'd read "if you have a purse, take that and your scrip. If you don't have a sword, sell a garment and buy one."

I clearly have a long way to go before God stops me from being deluded - 2 Thessalonians 2:11. Thank you so much for your help though Reverand.

I'm always happy to help, Sister! Just ask my good Brother Bobby-Joe, and he'll tell you how I jump at the opportunity to lend him a hand.

[Catherine Moore]

Re: Cheap Swords

Well, that's annoying. I called in sick to work to go and pick up the sword, so I could get it as quickly as possible. Then I rather stupidly put it in my bedroom and settled down to read my KJV for a few hours:

Job 19:29
Be ye afraid of the sword: for wrath [bringeth] the punishments of the sword, that ye may know [there is] a judgment.

Now I'm too scared to go in to my bedroom and will have to sleep on the fold out bed.

There are a lot of obstacles to this sword business. Landover ought to provide little guides to fulfilling various commands including warnings about other commands that may be relevant. I know I for one would cheerfully have paid whatever that would have cost in order to avoid having to seal off one room of my house, convert another into a bedroom and replace all my clothes.

It may be that I summon up the courage later, but for now that seems the only option.