[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Well, I hope you don't think my precious kitties are going to burn in hell. I've worked ever so hard to make sure they are proper christian kitties. I've worked hard on keeping them away from anything satanic!

They are going to be what SATAN calls "Kittie Crisps". A snack for demons.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

...
Wow. I thought their had to be at least ONE Christian on this fourm, that was open minded, but I suppose I'm not going to find one here.

Don't be silly. I am very open-minded.

My 'fantasies' are my belifs, and as a Christian, you should be able to except that, express your own ideas, and leave it at that.

We do. Except if we stop trying to save you before you prove that you love JESUS by tithing, we have failed.

And you have no right to call me a Satan Whorshiper, even if you are a Pastor. For all you know, I could be a Christain, just one that is curious.

Not really. EVERYONE, even those homer catlicks CLAIM to be Christians. There even SOME false Christians who call themselves "Southern Baptists"....."Southern" meaning "Hell", which is where they are going.

[SUV]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

How can you be sure woman doesn't have a soul.

I used to have Soul. Then Pastor made me throw out the Aretha albums in order to get a Soul.

I Hope this somehow exlpains it

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

I'm not 'whining' about my belifs. I just stating what I belif, and stating what you seem to belive. Nor am I demanding speical rights. I'm only saying that I think everyone goes to Heaven.

Judge me? Okay. If you say I'm going to Hell, that what you want to think. But I still belive that I am going to Heaven. Sorry. ;

And where on earth do you get that idea from? Not the Bible, that's for sure.
Psalm 9:17 The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.
Revelation 20:15 And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.

Oh, and what are your views on reincarnation? I think people are born again and again, until they reach, as you say, eternal salavation.

I refer you to my previous question. Do you have any logical reason to believe in this idea of reincarnation, or do you just think it'd be a nice thing to happen? Because I agree it'd be nice. I also think that it'd be nice if chocolate snowdrops fell from the sky, if pigs walked on their hind legs and left a trail of fairy dust everywhere they went, and Arabs were capable of doing something other than blowing themselves up and raping children. Just because an idea is nice, doesn't make it true.
Friend, you are more than welcome to label yourself as bi-curious Christian whose mind is wide open to Satan's whispers, or whatever other title you'd like to give yourself. Just be prepared for what will happen in the next world:
Matthew 7:21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.

22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? 23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

[DAT21 (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Xtianity is a horrible religion written by chauvinistic, asshole men who wanted to glorify themselves and their 'tallywhackers'. The people at landover baptist seem to, I've noticed, embody everything that shows how utterly horrid the religion is, and what's more they are proud of being extreme fundamentalists.
The bible is full of contradictions and is easily shown to be bulldonkey (for one, it claims the earth is flat, for two, it states the age of the earth at 6000 years when even the most basic dating techniques show humanity alone is far, far older, to say nothing of the dinosaurs) .

Good luck with whatever you believe, but religions like xtianity and the other abrahamic religions....well.....IMHO they embody everything that's wrong with the world. (Or 90% of it anyway)

I belive in Christianity and in the word of God. I also belive in equal opurtunity for women and that everything in the Bible probably isn't true but I think it all has to be taken on faith. As for Landover Baptists, I'd say that you really don't want to base your idea of Christianity on this place. But I do agree, Landovers Baptists does seem to embody everything wrong with the world.

[DAT21 (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Well....well....well...what do we have here? A LESS-bian comin into the HOUSE OF GOD spouting the LIES and ABOMINATIONS of her false lord, SATAN!!

YOU BET YOU ARE GOING TO HELL....SISTER!! In fact, you is so close to the FLAMES that you ought to be sweatin already!!

Get behind me Satan!! REPENT! TURN to the LORD for SALVATION before you die and find yourself in the midst of the DEVIL'S FURNACE!! Stop lettin Satan POSSESS you! Turn to JESUS!!

Equal rights? Oh bullhockey! Women shouldn't have equal rights or homersexuals either!! EQUAL RIGHTS??? Get you self in the KITCHEN cuz that IS where your equals rights are SISTER!! You wear men's clothing!! What an ABOMINATION in the EYES of the LORD God ALMIGHTY!! I suppose you is one of them people who is really a "man" (hehehe) born in a woman's body. What? You think GOD ALMIGHTY makes them kind of mistakes? I DON'T think so!! You speak your mind? Oh...oh...that means you spout your mouth as SATAN fills your head with words!! And you're not a Christian? Well JESUS do ya think we is all so STUPID here that we didn't figure that one out right away?

Hmmm.....not sure you believe in God/Jesus/or the Holy Ghost hey? Well MAYBE they DON'T believe in YOU either! Ever think bouts that? Your LACK of belief doesn't change the FACT of their REALNESS one iota! And you think everyone goes to Heaven when they die cuz you don't think there is any Hell? Well you is goin to find out how WRONG you are on the day you die SISTER! You are going to realize how wrong you were on the day you find yourself in HELL with the DEVIL pocking you with his PITCHFORK in your rear!

Is Landover real? Are YOU for real? GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY what a LOST SOUL you are SISTER!!

Well you have said every BLASPHEMIS thing you possibly could say while introducing yourself. Obviously you is bound over to the PIT in the midst of the Valley of Abominations and Desolations!! Go find your own kind! God knows you SONS AND DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS dominate the Internet with your DEMONIC FORUMS!!

Can you feel my SEETHING teeth? Can you see the DISGUST on my face? That's cuz the HOLY GHOST is comin through me and right now HE is DISGUSTED with ya. Get on out of here! Ya ought not to even be on this forum! Take that WITCH HELL-sing with ya too! This forum is for the GLORY OF THE LORD not the devil who is your SUGAR DADDY!!

I'm callin down the BLOOD OF THE LAMB on you head, SISTER!
ABOMINATION!
DESOLATION!
SINNER!
REPENT NOW !!

When you capitalize things does that mean what you are saying is important? Because it reminds me of idotic people who talk loud so they seem smart. Let me try, YOU ARE A SHORT SIGHTED CHAUVANISTIC PIG. does it work when I do it? Let me try again, WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO ASSUME YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT GOD AND THE BIBLE WHEN YOU OBVIOUSLY AREN'T SAMRT ENOUGH TO REALIZE THE BIBLE WAS WRITTEN BY MEN!!!

[DAT21 (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Why do you unsaved trash automatically question whether God's favorite church is real, just because we follow the Holy Bible as it is, rather than as liberal feminazis think it should be? I'll have you know that Landover Baptist Church is every bit as real as Our Lord Jesus Christ and the lake of fire into which He will drop-kick your heathenish soul for all eternity.

By the way, I see from your OP that either your or your friends at your fluffy-bunny, have-a-nice-day UU "church" (and no, I don't need to look it up) have already done extensive research in how to offend the Lord. Congratulations.

So God is picking favorites now? That's funny because I always assume he loved everyone equally. I guess I'm just an unsaved piece of trash. Oh and speaking of favorites, wasn't there something in the Bible that says the Jews are the chosen people of God. Wouldn't that make the Jews God's favorites and the rest of us Gentiles are just lucky that Jesus came along.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

I belive in Christianity and in the word of God. I also belive in equal opurtunity for women and that everything in the Bible probably isn't true but I think it all has to be taken on faith. So you believe that the Word of God isn't true? You're saying that God is full of "it"? As for Landover Baptists, I'd say that you really don't want to base your idea of Christianity on this place. What about basing your idea of Christianity on the Bible? But I do agree, Landovers Baptists does seem to embody everything wrong with the world. And you seem to embody arrogance, ignorance and blasphemy.
Blah blah blah... WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO ASSUME YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT GOD AND THE BIBLE WHEN YOU OBVIOUSLY AREN'T SAMRT ENOUGH TO REALIZE THE BIBLE WAS WRITTEN BY MEN!!!

So if the Bible was written by men, what makes it so special? Either it's God's Word or it isn't.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

When you capitalize things does that mean what you are saying is important? Because it reminds me of idotic people who talk loud so they seem smart. Let me try, YOU ARE A SHORT SIGHTED CHAUVANISTIC PIG. does it work when I do it? Let me try again, WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO ASSUME YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT GOD AND THE BIBLE WHEN YOU OBVIOUSLY AREN'T SAMRT ENOUGH TO REALIZE THE BIBLE WAS WRITTEN BY MEN!!!

Atleast we're smart enough to know how to spell the word itself..
We're also smart enough to have an argument without resorting to childish insults, you sodomite.

Let me tell you, we base our faith on the holy word of God; The KJV1611 Bible!
We're blameless, and living according to the word of God, as God intended.
Praise the Lord! All Glory unto Him!

May all you blasphemers burn in hell!

[DAT21 (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

So if the Bible was written by men, what makes it so special? Either it's God's Word or it isn't.

Well let's see. The Bible says that the only perfect person was Jesus right? So since Jesus is the only perfect man, all other men are capable of sinning, and lying is a sin right? So what's to stop one of the writers of the Bible from just saying, "Well I don't think this is what God meant, I'm gonna change it to this..." or something like that. Just because it's "God's Word" doesn't mean that somewhere down the line, a man, a "sinner" if you will, decided that he didn't like the bible and wanted to change it.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Just because it's "God's Word" doesn't mean that somewhere down the line, a man, a "sinner" if you will, decided that he didn't like the bible and wanted to change it.

That's why we only use the correct version of the Bible; The KJV1611.
To avoid that some homer like you will try to rewrite the holy Bible.

People try all the time to change things in the Bible, yet we will always stick to the true version, the one God dictated:
The KJV1611.

[DAT21 (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Atleast we're smart enough to know how to spell the word itself..
We're also smart enough to have an argument without resorting to childish insults, you sodomite.

Let me tell you, we base our faith on the holy word of God; The KJV1611 Bible!
We're blameless, and living according to the word of God, as God intended.
Praise the Lord! All Glory unto Him!

May all you blasphemers burn in hell!

You're right, childish insults are wrong, I'll stick to adultish insults from now on, scout's honor.
PS- Would calling you an ignorant, raving, piece of dog turd count as a childish insult?

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

You're right, childish insults are wrong, I'll stick to adultish insults from now on, scout's honor.
PS- Would calling you an ignorant, raving, piece of dog turd count as a childish insult?

Oh What a witty sinner you are..

I'm sure satan will enjoy having a comedian to torture as Jesus throws you in hell. And I'm sure we will enjoy watching, as the Bible tells us.
PRAISE JESUS!

[DAT21 (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

That's why we only use the correct version of the Bible; The KJV1611.
To avoid that some homer like you will try to rewrite the holy Bible.

People try all the time to change things in the Bible, yet we will always stick to the true version, the one God dictated:
The KJV1611.

Wait, so God Himself wnt to King James and told him word for word what to write in the Bible? I had know idea, by the way, this sounds sort of like the way God dictacted the Book of Mormon to Joseph Smith. Would you say that the Book of Mormon is the Word of God? I mean since the word of God has to be dictated from God Himself, the Book of Mormon obviously counts.

[DAT21 (Quarantined)]

Re: Am I Going To Burn In Hell?

Oh What a witty sinner you are..

I'm sure satan will enjoy having a comedian to torture as Jesus throws you in hell. And I'm sure we will enjoy watching, as the Bible tells us.
PRAISE JESUS!

I thought we agreed, know more childish insults. Just because God blessed you with a smaller brain and a lower intelligence than most people, you don't have to take out your frustrations on people such as me. Besides, we are all made in God's image, so that means God must have a sense of humor. He as to have one, he created you didn't he?