Harsha Shah is thinking about elephants

[MitzaLizalor]

..including the guts and the digestive processes. She emphasised endocrine inspired behaviours which I won't dwell on but "soft words butter no parsnips" is the mot juste and I'll speak plainly this once. Medicating a bull elephant is NOT a good idea. Let's be clear: in her mind's eye it was not a tranquillised elephant was it Miss Shah.

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Yes, Mr. Des. Yes, it is Harsha here!
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I am hoping that Mr. Hold is not being offended by my still being beside the point. I am thinking that the communism in the Soviet Union was the ultimate form of oligarchy with the caste of the party members and the caste of all the others. Yes. It was not possible to choose your own path there. I have been telling the story of the blind men and the elephant: one is thinking that it is a column, another that it is a fan, the third one is assuming that it is a wall and many christians are concentrating on the lingam of the elephant. Communism was seeing the guts and the digestive processes. They were thinking that if we are filling the nation with raw materials they will produce good living. They never saw the brain and the mind and the eyes of the elephant our friend. Yes. I am not saying that they were any better in ancient India. There is more to life than the lingam. It can be treated with the Viagra but there is more to the elephant. Yes. There is also the herd. Yes.

There is a literary record of just such a product and the consequences of its misuse. It's been dramatised and the description comes near the end but I'll the post whole thing later and just link this HERE. The effects on men would be as disconcerting LINK as on elephants and when we mix in the Indian obsession with bodily functions I feel that an invitation to Miss Shah would be appropriate. Perhaps the deaconess or a member of the Pastoral team could counsel her? It's not my place to suggest exorcism of course, and I won't suggest that, but maybe a weekend retreat working on one of the ranches would get rid of her surplus energy and stop her thinking about elephants?

The story is based on a true experience, identities are protected by the author and a theme of matrimony is featured. Here's the complete thing:

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[Harsha Shah]

Re: Harsha Shah is thinking about elephants

..including the guts and the digestive processes. She emphasised endocrine inspired behaviours which I won't dwell on but "soft words butter no parsnips" is the mot juste and I'll speak plainly this once. Medicating a bull elephant is NOT a good idea. Let's be clear: in her mind's eye it was not a tranquillised elephant was it Miss Shah.


There is a literary record of just such a product and the consequences of its misuse. It's been dramatised and the description comes near the end but I'll the post whole thing later and just link this HERE. The effects on men would be as disconcerting LINK as on elephants and when we mix in the Indian obsession with bodily functions I feel that an invitation to Miss Shah would be appropriate. Perhaps the deaconess or a member of the Pastoral team could counsel her? It's not my place to suggest exorcism of course, and I won't suggest that, but maybe a weekend retreat working on one of the ranches would get rid of her surplus energy and stop her thinking about elephants?

The story is based on a true experience, identities are protected by the author and a theme of matrimony is featured. Here's the complete thing:

Yes, Mrs. Lizalor. It is Harsha Shah here. I am not quite certain about what you were meaning in your kind and friendly post but you must understand that I am not yet really proficient in the christian doctrine. I hope that I am not offending you. Yes.

You are referring to my stories about the blind men and the elephant. I am thinking that I have been seeing here how the literal reading of the Bible is affecting the christians into thinking that everything must be read literally, that we of other faiths also would always read our stories literally. Yes. I hope I am not offfending you, Mrs. Lizalor, when I am saying that I am not taking the stories of my religion literally at all. They are metaphors and sometimes they are just hallucinations of people come before us. The elephant story is a metaphor, Mrs. Lizalor, yes.

You are also suggesting that I marry but I am not yet sure about that. I am spending many hours at work and then preparing the lessons for the next day at home. Only sometimes do I have the time to do some indulgence with my friends. I am sorry if this is disappointing, Mrs. Lizalor. Yes. Thank you for your kind words. Yes.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Harsha Shah is thinking about elephants

Thanks for replying. If you have a look through the forum I'm sure you'll see the Christian standard in affaires de cœur is within your grasp. Unlike your Caucasian ancestors we do not find it necessary to dine on toadstools to find The Truth and we do not set up trade routes to import or export poison. A little wine is acceptable, as commanded by Jesus. Hope you find what you're looking for soon -- must dash now, chat again soon, stay off the soma.

ML (Miss)

[Herman Periwinkle]

Re: Harsha Shah is thinking about elephants

I don't know what's happening in here. Am I lost? Am I still on the Landover internet-sight?

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Harsha Shah is thinking about elephants

I don't know what's happening in here. Am I lost? Am I still on the Landover internet-sight?

I'm with you here Brother Herman, the subject is rather obscure and escapes me for the moment. This is, after all, the MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES forum, and I trust that our Sister Mitza is, as always, inspired by the Holy Spirit.

Despite the Biblical commandment to go forth and multiply, the discourse is often clouded in gynecological logic coming from the females - which has given rise to the oft quoted slang term "getting lucky".

Consider also that we are dealing with a dot-head here, where their strange cultural traditions involve preparing family meals in stoves fueled by "sacred" cow dung - and where accidents often occur that result in the stoves blowing up and killing the wives. These unfortunate occurrences results in the affected families not having to return the dowry (called dot-head "divorce").

It's always wise to be cautious as the LOL (Ladies of Landover) have been lobbying for years for their own forum (which has been repeatedly denied by the Pastors), but for the moment I don't detect anything un-Biblical going on here.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Harsha Shah is thinking about elephants

Thank you for your concern. Our Indian cousin was obsessing over bull elephants in another thread so knowing how they valued soma across her blasted motherland and this being the season for Amanita muscaria in Scotland I wondered whether she might be about to start channelling Kali. Kali is a sex demon, but in India all demons are sex demons like it's elephant-demon-and-sex or temple-goddess-and-sex or chillum-rat-and-sex I don't need to go into detail no wonder the place is overpopulated.
Miss Shah has had the sense to be departing India. Good. Well done. And of heathen nations perhaps Scotland is not the worst if a little cold at times but the peat fires are very cozy so it's not altogether surprising when her thoughts turn to elephants. Landover is the right place for Indian maids to learn about Jesus, subject to Pastoral approval, and I thought inviting her to look in here would be appropriate. I've included her in my contacts list, perhaps I should befriend her just in case she breaks out in tantric yoga and she can explain something about "jains" whatever that is.

In the meantime if anyone is interested in meeting Miss Shah for coffee I'd be happy to chaperon her just in case she reverts to stonecrushed toadstools and since coffee masks the flavour quite well, or so I've heard, we don't want any underhand recidivist techniques. Even in Scotland.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Harsha Shah is thinking about elephants

I too am very confused by this discussion, but if Sister Mitza is encouraging our young chapati-munching friend to marry this can only be a good thing, especially given remarks like this:

Only sometimes do I have the time to do some indulgence with my friends.

Harsha, dear, indulgences are a catholic thing. I'm not sure exactly what they are, but they are Not Christian! (How do I know this? Well, if they were Christian, then I would know about them. QED, as your Roman friends say.) You must try to resist the influence of your fellow Weegies, dear. Unlike us, they do not have your best interests at heart.

I will continue to pray for you, even though (for reasons of His own, which it is not my place to question) God has so far failed to answer my prayers.

By the way, is Bob still single? I think he might be the perfect match for Harsha.

YiC
Joanna

[Didymus Much]

Re: Harsha Shah is thinking about elephants

...By the way, is Bob still single?...

Is the Pope Catholic? wait dammit can't use that anymore Do bears still shit in the woods?

[Back against wall]

Re: Harsha Shah is thinking about elephants

I got a call yesterday, my Wife's doctor I believe. I could hardly understand him from his breathing, he obviously has Emphysema. All he said was "Your Wife is going to die soon" So I suspect I shall be in here more often. Quite inconvenient.

[Harsha Shah]

Re: Harsha Shah is thinking about elephants

Yes, Miss Lizalor. I am sorry if I was offending you with the title "Mrs" as I was unaware of your marital status. Yes, I was.

I am confused and I must say I am feeling a bit awkward because my marital status is being discussed in the open. Yes, I can't deny that my parents have been putting me under pressure to marry but I am at the moment very happy to be teaching the children and living the life of an independent young woman. Yes.

I am also seeing that I was not perhaps correctly understood when I was writing about the elephant. Yes. I hope I am not offending you, when I am saying that maybe you did not understand that the elephant is a metaphor. But I am also thinking that you were correct. There is much more to life than the elephant. There is the whole environment with many plants of many kinds, with birds singing on the bushes, with various insects flitting about, and with worms crawling through the damp earth. The elephant is not alone and with karma it is possible (but I am very unsure about reincarnation at the moment) that I once was a bird or an insect or a worm.

I must also confess that I have never collected mushrooms. My experience of nature is mostly confined to Holyrood Park where I have been ascending Arthur's Seat many times. Yes. I am trying to let go of any truths and just experience the wind up there. It is beautiful and the view is magnificent. Yes. It is sad as our lives blow away as easily as the wind does. Yes.

[Nobar King]

Re: Harsha Shah is thinking about elephants

You women shouldn't be thinking about elephants, much less be writing about them online.

This whole subject disgusts me.

[Back against wall]

Re: Harsha Shah is thinking about elephants

You women shouldn't be thinking about elephants, much less be writing about them online.

This whole subject disgusts me.

I must totally agree with you Brother Nobar. It reminds me of a disgusting video I caught my Abo's watching involving a Donkey and an Ass.

[Harsha Shah]

Re: Harsha Shah is thinking about elephants

Yes, Mr. King and Mr. Wall. It is Harsha Shah here. I am very sorry that I was offending you as it was not my intention. Yes. I am also seeing that elephants are not mentioned in your Bible. I am trying to change my focus from the tale of the elephant and the blind men to a more holistic view of the world. Yes.

[Back against wall]

Re: Harsha Shah is thinking about elephants

Yes, Mr. King and Mr. Wall. It is Harsha Shah here. I am very sorry that I was offending you as it was not my intention. Yes. I am also seeing that elephants are not mentioned in your Bible. I am trying to change my focus from the tale of the elephant and the blind men to a more holistic view of the world. Yes.

That would be a great idea Harsha. In the mean time, here is a picture of a kitchen that I literally just made for you.

[Harsha Shah]

Re: Harsha Shah is thinking about elephants

That would be a great idea Harsha. In the mean time, here is a picture of a kitchen that I literally just made for you.

Yes, Mr. Wall. Harsha Shah here. This is a very nice picture and seeing it is making me happy. It is giving me a new fresh look into this old allegorical story of the elephant and the blind men. Yes. Thank you. Mr. Wall.