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  • Glendora Christianson
    Spiritual Mother of LBC
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 2329

    #1

    Bad Personal Ads, Post Your Examples

    There is a big difference between secular personals and Christian personals. And I thought it might be a good idea for us to post a few bad examples, courtesy of the secular world. Anyway, I found a particularly disgusting ad on that very smutty craigslist.org. Feel free to ad more bad ads for educational purposes. Thanks, Mother Glynndie

    Young Surfer Boy ISO Hot Straight Couple - m4mw - hello,
    What a great day it is! I already got some surf in this morning and now I want to have some hot and wild fun with a HOT STRAIGHT COUPLE at my place or yours ASAP! I am 5'9", very athletic and lean body, 150lbs, a few tats, short light brown hair, very little body hair, smooth young skin, a clean,well kept and groomed 8 inch long and 2 inch thick circumsized xxxx. I posted some pics below, if you are interested send me yours and we'll take it from there..
    Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
  • SUV
    True Christian™ Princess
    The Driving Force behind RA12
    Have at it, anytime!
    • Sep 2006
    • 11027

    #2
    (Uhhh....Mother Glynndie! Mother Glynndie! Have you seen BRIAN PEPPERS/Li'l Davey/Carnie Guy around here anywhere?)

    SUV

    Comment

    • Bobby-Joe
      Landover Security Superviser
      Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
      NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 18405

      #3
      I ran across this one once;

      Divorced White Male, 54 5’2” 275lbs bald.
      Seeks single while female 18-30, blonde and big breasts a plus.
      Stable employment status and NO law enforcement connections are must if you want to run with me baby. As you can see a hot item like me will be going so ladies so get you reply in soon.
      No smokers please.

      Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

      Hot Must ReadThreads!


      Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

      Comment

      • Daisy Mae Johnson
        The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
        Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
        aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 15708

        #4
        Do you meant this guy dear Sister?



        Originally posted by Sister Sue Vera View Post
        (Uhhh....Mother Glynndie! Mother Glynndie! Have you seen BRIAN PEPPERS/Li'l Davey/Carnie Guy around here anywhere?)

        SUV
        sigpic

        Tweet me Here
        My GODLY Bio Here

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        • SUV
          True Christian™ Princess
          The Driving Force behind RA12
          Have at it, anytime!
          • Sep 2006
          • 11027

          #5
          Oh my GOD! What is it about that little Man that simply tears the Heart Right out of my chestal areas?

          (As always, I kept my eyes averted from that Vulgar bulge coming from that pair of britches to the left of him. Jesus know I did!!!)

          SUV

          Comment

          • Pastor Ezekiel
            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
             
            • Sep 2006
            • 78556

            #6
            I once saw this personal ad in a secular newspaper in Memphis:

            I don't exept ignorant people!

            My name is Angela. I am attractiveseriouse, tender, polite, romantic lady. I love music, travel, books, flowers, good company. I have traditional view at the family. I am looking for kind, relaible, considerate, intellectual gentleman who love a children and valye a family life. The man of my dream is tall( 5'10" and more), strong,gentle, loving, understanding.
            Probably educated in public school.
            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

            Comment

            • Ixi
              Wretched Unsaved Goth
              Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
              • Sep 2006
              • 844

              #7
              what makes you think she went to a public school?
              A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

              Comment

              • Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.
                Scientific Advisor
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2006
                • 2373

                #8
                The fact that she is such a dunce and cannot convey a simple THOUGHT?
                Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"

                Comment

                • Ixi
                  Wretched Unsaved Goth
                  Ixi, have you done your homework yet?
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 844

                  #9
                  I think she seemed sweet.
                  A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

                  Comment

                  • Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.
                    Scientific Advisor
                    True Christian™
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 2373

                    #10
                    She seemed like the typical worldly WHORE seeking as many pee pee's in her woman-parts. Lucky for her, Satan is ready at a moment's notice.
                    Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"

                    Comment

                    • Brother Temperance
                      Senior Usher
                      True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                      A very nice young man
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 15621

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Angela View Post
                      I am looking for kind, relaible, considerate, intellectual gentleman who love a children...
                      In other words, her idea of a good time is a threesome involving a Catholic priest and a 12-year old polack.
                      Originally posted by Ixi
                      I think she seemed sweet.
                      Sorry, not even whores like that go for emo queers like yourself.
                      O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                      God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                      Comment

                      • Glendora Christianson
                        Spiritual Mother of LBC
                        True Christian™
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 2329

                        #12
                        Dear Lord, I Found a Doozey!

                        Folks, please don't read on, unless you are very sure about your own personal salvation. I can't believe what qualifies as a personal ad in the sexular world! DISTURBED MOTHER GLENDORA

                        I need 1 or 2 women to FXXX me with a strap on!! - m4ww - 26

                        i need 1 or 2 women who want to Fxxx a young guy with a strap-on...

                        id get a nice hotel room, supply the "tools"

                        you just show up ready to make me sxxx and fxxx your rubber cxxx...

                        i am a good looking athletic grad student...have played with toys but my axx is still virgin territory so be the first...bring a friend if you want to tag team me...

                        hoping to do this soon...
                        Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

                        Comment

                        • Hushed_Agony
                          Forum Member
                          Forum Member
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 105

                          #13
                          Re: Bad Personal Ads, Post Your Examples

                          Lumberjack seeks companion

                          Must be able to supply your own chain lube. A 18" bar is most acceptable.
                          I am a hard starter, but once pulled, I fire right up.
                          No wood to big to conquer, no sapplings allowed.
                          Would prefer dressed in flannels and a unionsuit. (That buttflap is so sexy)
                          Can you get my motor started?
                          Instead of knocking the wood down, let's bring it up
                          call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX

                          Remind me to hide not in the trees, but somewhere far far away from this filth.
                          And ye shall tread down the wicked; for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet in the day that I shall do this, saith the Lord of hosts. Malachi 4.3

                          Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
                          Pslams 51:7

                          Comment

                          • Daisy Mae Johnson
                            The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                            Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                            aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                            True Christian™
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 15708

                            #14
                            Re: Bad Personal Ads, Post Your Examples

                            Tinkerbell Seeking Hook Tired of unfaithful Peters. 45, 5'2/115, auburn brown-wide eyes IMP. Ready for the Hook. Save me! I still believe.

                            Lost Boys need not apply.




                            what a filthy, wanton slut...I winced when I read that ad.
                            sigpic

                            Tweet me Here
                            My GODLY Bio Here

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                            • Talitha
                              Deaconess
                              Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
                              True Christian™
                              • Mar 2026
                              • 15118

                              #15
                              Re: Bad Personal Ads, Post Your Examples

                              I don't know if I understood this Thread.....

                              But I'm Posting anyway.

                              Kitty Fiddling should be against the Law!!

                              Click image for larger version

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                              Sister Talitha

                              Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


                              HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
                              being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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