[James Dewitt]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

=Mrs. P Wintersnow;557138]

Oh dear.. James.... I am glad you understand my work is important to me and has been an integral part of my life for a long time now and even to take a husband, my foremost priority would be to Jesus and working with young whores and street urchins. Certainly though, after a day of dealing with such riff-raff, I would love nothing more than to tend to my household chores, cook you a wonderful meal and then after, snuggle up with THE Good Book, whilst you partake of some of my "double-dip very cherry pie".

My Dear Phebe, while the thought of you double dip cheery pie leaves me quacking at the knees, I am reminded of a scripture.
Luke 4:4
And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.

God's love in conjunction with the love of you would fill my soul beyond measure.

It seems however that Rev Jim sees me as nothing more than a "rebound" to you. Is there any truth in this?

No I am not on the rebound. Her father arranged for the marriage, she was never really going to do it. I think now on past conversations with her father that he was after my money. He is in debt up to his ears with a failing farm.
You can speak with Sister BIG, she will tell you that she did not even want to learn how to make a cobbler let alone a pie. I ask you how long would that marriage last?

It seems to me that Rev Jim is on the rebound, I mean really, looking for a new wife BEFORE he is divorced form the other. How tacky, a gentleman would at least let his sheets cool off before taking another wife.

Breathlessly waiting James

[James Dewitt]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Seems like Rev Jim has more than one iron in the fire.

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?goto=newpost&t=46445

[Sister Charli]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Seems like Rev Jim has more than one iron in the fire.
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showt...ewpost&t=46445

With all due respect Brother James, I am concerned that my motives are being questioned.

It is very rare for Daddy and myself to meet a True Christian (tm) here in outback Western Australia.

The offer of hospitality and tasting of my special pie is extended to ALL Landover True Christians (tm) that venture Down Under.

As it transpires it is unlikely that I will have the opportunity to meet Rev Jim as it is my mensa week and I will be going bush for that time.

I wish Sister Phebe only the best in her decision to find a suitable suitor. My invitation to Rev Jim was not in any way an attempt to derail that. I have seen the pictures here of Sister Phebe and I fully understand why she has a number of True Christian (tm) men eager to get her affection - not to mention her double dipped cherry pie.

I apologise if my intentions were misconstrued.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Sister Phebe,

I am but a humble and simple man. I cannot compete with Brother James' billions or Reverend Jim's fleet of 747s.

But when the 4th mortgage on our single wide is approved, we''ll have enough to get by. Maybe even a honeymoon at Disneyland, if we are careful! Provided I can get the brakes on the Pinto fixed in time, of course.

Wealth isn't everything. Jesus tells us!

And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said, Blessed be ye poor: for yours is the kingdom of God. Luke 6:20 - KJV

And the trailer park needs you. So many fallen females with chemical dependancies. A strong Christian woman to testify and save their souls. Praise Jesus!

Don't give up on us yet, Sister.

Yours in Christ!

[Felicity]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

@Mrs. P Wintersnow Position? Rev. Jim Osborne said I would be on my knees for Jesus while he filled me with the joy of the Holy Spirit until my cheeks are glowing.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

@Mrs. P Wintersnow Position? Rev. Jim Osborne said I would be on my knees for Jesus while he filled me with the joy of the Holy Spirit until my cheeks are glowing.

That mental picture should be saved and made into one of those great works of art on velvet!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

I also understand how important it is for you to rewarding career.

A career . Women don't need careers! They need to keep the house clean, make babies and keep their yaps shut. Didn't your last fiancee leave you because she wanted a career as well !?

[James Dewitt]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

A career . Women don't need careers! They need to keep the house clean, make babies and keep their yaps shut. Didn't your last fiancee leave you because she wanted a career as well !?

Slight difference, Mrs Phebe wants to do work for the Lord, the other wanted to learn how to artificially inseminate horses. One career is worth while( The Lords work) the other is disgusting at best.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Slight difference, Mrs Phebe wants to do work for the Lord, the other wanted to learn how to artificially inseminate horses. One career is worth while( The Lords work) the other is disgusting at best.

Brother James a Question if I might. I can not remember the passage maybe you can help. It says that if seed is spilled then the woman and the man will be unclean.... would this only refer to human seed or would it mean contact with any seed, including the stallion's?

[James Dewitt]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Brother James a Question if I might. I can not remember the passage maybe you can help. It says that if seed is spilled then the woman and the man will be unclean.... would this only refer to human seed or would it mean contact with any seed, including the stallion's?

It beats the tar out of me. Just last week I saw two horses in the pasture down the road from me, that stallion did look like he needed any help at all.

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Sister Phebe,

I am but a humble and simple man. I cannot compete with Brother James' billions or Reverend Jim's fleet of 747s.

But when the 4th mortgage on our single wide is approved, we''ll have enough to get by. Maybe even a honeymoon at Disneyland, if we are careful! Provided I can get the brakes on the Pinto fixed in time, of course.

Wealth isn't everything. Jesus tells us!



And the trailer park needs you. So many fallen females with chemical dependancies. A strong Christian woman to testify and save their souls. Praise Jesus!

Don't give up on us yet, Sister.

Yours in Christ!

Brother Rubicon,

Money is the least of my worries and does not enter my mind one iota in this decision and in fact as Rev Jim at least knows, I am independently wealthy in my own right. What did alarm me however was your alluding to be more than happy to take both myself AND Sister Sylvia on. Whilst polygamy may be an appealing prospect to some, it certainly holds no interest for me I am afraid.

I prayed long over this and the following verses near jumped out hit me in the face:

Ecclesiastes 9:9

Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.

Note, it is singular "THE WIFE"

as is the same in Proverbs 5:19

Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.


My breasts are here to satisfy, as is my loving hind and I am more than happy to serve up caviar if need be, but it must be only my breasts, hind and my appetizers and of course my delectable pie, my husband desires, ravishes and wants to eat.

YIC,

Sister Phebe.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Brother Rubicon,

Money is the least of my worries and does not enter my mind one iota in this decision and in fact as Rev Jim at least knows, I am independently wealthy in my own right. What did alarm me however was your alluding to be more than happy to take both myself AND Sister Sylvia on. Whilst polygamy may be an appealing prospect to some, it certainly holds no interest for me I am afraid.

I prayed long over this and the following verses near jumped out hit me in the face:

Ecclesiastes 9:9

Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.

Note, it is singular "THE WIFE"

as is the same in Proverbs 5:19

Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.


My breasts are here to satisfy, as is my loving hind and I am more than happy to serve up caviar if need be, but it must be only my breasts, hind and my appetizers and of course my delectable pie, my husband desires, ravishes and wants to eat.

YIC,

Sister Phebe.

Oh Sister!

I had no idea. Umm.. exactly how many shekels do you have? I only ask thinking of all we could accomplish for Jesus!

Trust me, it was a momentary lapse of character when I suggested there were other bosoms for me as well. It will NEVER happen again!

With my hand on the KJV, I promise my fidelity to only you and Jesus Christ, for as long as you live!

I beg your forgiveness and look forward to our courting as soon as possible. I trust your funds are liquid so that we may serve Him immediately?

You don't believe in any of those silly secular pre-nuptial agreements, do you?

Most certainly and truly all yours in Christ!

[Warner S. Davidson]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Sister Wintersnow

I have had quite an eye for you in the very short time I have been a member of LBC.
I am also grateful for all your help and support in my quest to become a Proud and True Christian™ member of the Landover™ congregation

However I cannot compete with these solid, Godley and dependable True Christian™ men as I am a still but a reforming sinner who’s sinful and decadent past may bring shame on your highly respected and Godly self.

Although I have more than sufficient income to keep you very well in a large stately home with a large kitchen situated on a large inner suburban estate in Melbourne's exclusive and leafy Toorak and a Ferrari, Hummer, and Statesman (Australian Cadillac) in the garage, the facts are that all these assets and chattels are ultimately the “wages of sin” from my previous un Godly life –

Something that I am sure will not “sit well” with your Pure™ and True Christian™ self

As I am yet to become a True Christian™ therefore I must accept that I am ineligible to court you as I could potentially shame both you and the LBC ministry.

So with much pondering and a heavy heart I regretfully withdraw my candidacy

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Sister Wintersnow

I have had quite an eye for you in the very short time I have been a member of LBC.
I am also grateful for all your help and support in my quest to become a Proud and True Christian™ member of the Landover™ congregation

However I cannot compete with these solid, Godley and dependable True Christian™ men as I am a still but a reforming sinner who’s sinful and decadent past may bring shame on your highly respected and Godly self.

Although I have more than sufficient income to keep you very well in a large stately home with a large kitchen situated on a large inner suburban estate in Melbourne's exclusive and leafy Toorak and a Ferrari, Hummer, and Statesman (Australian Cadillac) in the garage, the facts are that all these assets and chattels are ultimately the “wages of sin” from my previous un Godly life –

Something that I am sure will not “sit well” with your Pure™ and True Christian™ self

As I am yet to become a True Christian™ therefore I must accept that I am ineligible to court you as I could potentially shame both you and the LBC ministry.

So with much pondering and a heavy heart I regretfully withdraw my candidacy

Oh Brother Warner,

You know with my work, I deal with many a whore, whether they be male or female, so your past dalliances of fornication, drug taking and all around sordid activity would play no part in my decision. I do find you an incredibly Godly man too, however, despite the multiple platinum tithes we could get out of the "richers" living around you in Toorak, I know for sure that I could never live in Melbourne. There are too many greenie homers there and that horrible AFL game openly seduces many a man to The Gay. Even though you are, I sense a strong man, sometimes the frenzy of a Grand Final could well sway you and then I would be back at square one.

Oh gosh... perhaps I should have read your entire comment before replying. hmm...you withdrew.... nevermind...

YIC,

Sister Phebe.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

It seems as if the stable of suitors is shrinking. I on the other hand am still here.
Mrs Phebe, one thing is for sure. You will never have to worry about me being led astray by wayward harlots, wanton whores and the likes. I am a firm believer in one wife and one husband.
Ecclesiastes 9:9

Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.

I do so love it when you sight scripture, I get a tingle from head to toes.

Diligently Yours James