[James Dewitt]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Brothers Rubicon and Davidson, I am trying to win the heart of Mrs Phebe. Take your petty differences elsewhere.

[Sam Diamond]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Just landed in Perth, Australia this evening. I will be hitting Brisbane, Queensland on the last leg of Ausfest™. I'll have you know, my dear Phebe, that I have discovered some, well, unfortunate things about Brother Dewitt. I will have to show you the photos in person because you won't believe it. I have a feeling it may make you reconsider your possible future with him.

Rev. Osborne, I must ask you of a small favor. Do not defame Mr Dewitt. He has been a long standing friend of mine. If you pursue said plans, certain photos can and will be made available during your up and coming divorce trial. Do you really want to drag a certain blond young lady and her father into court. Oh by the way I do love your choice of ladies undergarments, pedibears are so darn cute. Sam Diamond

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Rev. Osborne, I must ask you of a small favor. Do not defame Mr Dewitt. He has been a long standing friend of mine. If you pursue said plans, certain photos can and will be made available during your up and coming divorce trial. Do you really want to drag a certain blond young lady and her father into court. Oh by the way I do love your choice of ladies undergarments, pedibears are so darn cute. Sam Diamond

What a mess this has become! Now Sam's involved??

Sister Phebe, my heart belongs to you but I cannot afford the risk of having this man looking into my private life.

All the best in Christ!

[Sister Charli]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

I know Sister...

I'm so eager to find a woman and get the production line started again. I have but one fine son for Christ and at least 19 to go. The Holy Spirit moves me every night to spread the Good News®.

You know you are the one I want. But this appears not to be in His will. Can you blame me for at least trying to find an inferior woman? I am only fertile for so long, you know?

The sooner you make your decision final, the sooner I can find a suitable mate.

Yours in Christ!

Mr Rubicon.

I am most offended by this public humiliation.

I am pleased I got to see your true colours before our cyber social intercourse progressed any further.

Excuse my absence for a few hours. I am going to console myself in the kitchen making a couple of dozen pies.

[handmaiden]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Pray Jesus that I am not being arrogant, but I feel that I must admonish all of you who are posting with hardened hearts.

Cease this behaviour and be as one in Christ. We must remember that the reality of the Internet is that it allows the gentiles, i.e., unbelievers, to observe our interactions with each other. Jesus told us to love one another, that is, our fellow members of the Body of Christ, not those sinful god-deniers.

Remember also that it is the Lord who will decide if, when, and whom you will wed. He has a plan for your life. God gave Eve to Adam when He was good and ready; Adam did not go shopping, as it were.

Essentially, Adam was given no choice in the matter, the same as Eve. But at least Adam was put in charge, so he had that going for him.

Pray fervently to be shown and follow God's Will in this matter-- He will match you with the person who can assist you in glorifying Him.

You do trust the Lord, do you not?

Heck, I was pacing in my kitchen once, on the phone, complaining about the problem of meeting men while attending a women's college. I had just made a joking comment along the lines of, "It's not like some guy is going to walk up to my front door. . ." when there was an actual knock on my apartment door. Darned if it wasn't a really cute guy . We became pretty good friends with an undertone of sexual chemistry.

Now, I was fallen away from the Lord at that time, so you have to figure that Satan was just playing around. But if Satan can deliver a hot guy to my front door, how much more so can we look to Jesus for satisfaction of our human need for companionship?

Lovingly Yours,

Handmaiden

[James Dewitt]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Sisters Chari and Handmaiden, I hope some day that Jesus will provide your soul mate. Until that day arrives be strong in the knowledge that your Lord and Savior does indeed love you. YIC James

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Mr Rubicon.

I am most offended by this public humiliation.

I am pleased I got to see your true colours before our cyber social intercourse progressed any further.

Excuse my absence for a few hours. I am going to console myself in the kitchen making a couple of dozen pies.

Sister Phebe is a True Christian™ woman and you are not.

How could you possibly be offended?

It is what it is Sister. Work to improve yourself.

Yours in Christ!

[Sister Charli]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Sisters Charli and Handmaiden, I hope some day that Jesus will provide your soul mate. Until that day arrives be strong in the knowledge that your Lord and Savior does indeed love you. YIC James

Thank you Mr Dewitt.

Sister Phebe is indeed a very lucky woman.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Thank you Mr Dewitt.

Sister Phebe is indeed a very lucky woman.

No I am the lucky one. I hope!

[handmaiden]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Sisters Chari and Handmaiden, I hope some day that Jesus will provide your soul mate. Until that day arrives be strong in the knowledge that your Lord and Savior does indeed love you. YIC James

Thank you , Brother, for your encouraging words. I will wait upon the Lord for either a True Christian husband or another funeral so that I can get a hug and enjoy some momentary human contact.

Resignedly Yours,

Handmaiden

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Rev. Osborne, I must ask you of a small favor. Do not defame Mr Dewitt. He has been a long standing friend of mine. If you pursue said plans, certain photos can and will be made available during your up and coming divorce trial. Do you really want to drag a certain blond young lady and her father into court. Oh by the way I do love your choice of ladies undergarments, pedibears are so darn cute. Sam Diamond

Did you just threaten my friend and mentor Rev. Jim Osborne? I would be very careful with that...

[handmaiden]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Did you just threaten my friend and mentor Rev. Jim Osborne? I would be very careful with that...

Was that reference to a certain blonde young lady and her father about our dear Felicity?

All of this must stop. I abdure you to read my earlier post-- no, not the one about skydiving and male strippers*-- the one about being united in the love of Christ.

Let us turn our cheeks** and pronounce blessings instead of curses (or threats). Jesus would have us love one another and save our rage, I mean righteous anger, for non-believers.

Peacably Yours,

Handmaiden

* Though it does make for excellent reading, if I say so myself.

** You know very well which cheeks I mean.

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Well Gosh!!

Witnessing all this verbal thuggery and blatant skulduggery makes me wonder if it was the right idea to put a personal out here in the first place.

The last time I saw any shenanigans even close to this, was when Peter Bryant and Michael Simpson were arguing over who was going to play blood-soaked Jesus in our Sunday School production of Revelation 19, 2 months ago!

I will just let all you "gents" know right now. This is not acting. This is real life!

Perhaps the best thing for me to do is withdraw my personal ad all together.

YIC,

Mrs.P.Wintersnow.

PS. To Handmaiden. Thank you so much for being the voice of reason, but sometimes people cannot hear that voice, for their own vile chatter drowns out any reason.

[Sister Charli]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Sister Phebe is a True Christian™ woman and you are not.

How could you possibly be offended?

It is what it is Sister. Work to improve yourself.

Yours in Christ!

Apologies for my tantrum Mr Rubicon.

Following 3 hours locked in my prayer closet, I must agree that you are quite right.

And what a great looking cat you have.

If you send me your email address I will share a photo of my pussy.

[handmaiden]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Well Gosh!!

Witnessing all this verbal thuggery and blatant skulduggery makes me wonder if it was the right idea to put a personal out here in the first place.[ . . .]

To Handmaiden. Thank you so much for being the voice of reason, but sometimes people cannot hear that voice, for their own vile chatter drowns out any reason.

Thank you for the acknowledgment. Would you like to go skydiving anyway?


Hopefully Yours,

Handmaiden