[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Sister Phebe,

I am but a humble and simple man. I cannot compete with Brother James' billions or Reverend Jim's fleet of 747s.

But when the 4th mortgage on our single wide is approved, we''ll have enough to get by. Maybe even a honeymoon at Disneyland, if we are careful! Provided I can get the brakes on the Pinto fixed in time, of course.

Wealth isn't everything. Jesus tells us!

And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said, Blessed be ye poor: for yours is the kingdom of God. Luke 6:20 - KJV

And the trailer park needs you. So many fallen females with chemical dependancies. A strong Christian woman to testify and save their souls. Praise Jesus!

Don't give up on us yet, Sister.

Yours in Christ!

[Sister Charli]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Seems like Rev Jim has more than one iron in the fire.
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showt...ewpost&t=46445

With all due respect Brother James, I am concerned that my motives are being questioned.

It is very rare for Daddy and myself to meet a True Christian (tm) here in outback Western Australia.

The offer of hospitality and tasting of my special pie is extended to ALL Landover True Christians (tm) that venture Down Under.

As it transpires it is unlikely that I will have the opportunity to meet Rev Jim as it is my mensa week and I will be going bush for that time.

I wish Sister Phebe only the best in her decision to find a suitable suitor. My invitation to Rev Jim was not in any way an attempt to derail that. I have seen the pictures here of Sister Phebe and I fully understand why she has a number of True Christian (tm) men eager to get her affection - not to mention her double dipped cherry pie.

I apologise if my intentions were misconstrued.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Seems like Rev Jim has more than one iron in the fire.

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?goto=newpost&t=46445

[James Dewitt]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

=Mrs. P Wintersnow;557138]

Oh dear.. James.... I am glad you understand my work is important to me and has been an integral part of my life for a long time now and even to take a husband, my foremost priority would be to Jesus and working with young whores and street urchins. Certainly though, after a day of dealing with such riff-raff, I would love nothing more than to tend to my household chores, cook you a wonderful meal and then after, snuggle up with THE Good Book, whilst you partake of some of my "double-dip very cherry pie".

My Dear Phebe, while the thought of you double dip cheery pie leaves me quacking at the knees, I am reminded of a scripture.
Luke 4:4
And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.

God's love in conjunction with the love of you would fill my soul beyond measure.

It seems however that Rev Jim sees me as nothing more than a "rebound" to you. Is there any truth in this?

No I am not on the rebound. Her father arranged for the marriage, she was never really going to do it. I think now on past conversations with her father that he was after my money. He is in debt up to his ears with a failing farm.
You can speak with Sister BIG, she will tell you that she did not even want to learn how to make a cobbler let alone a pie. I ask you how long would that marriage last?

It seems to me that Rev Jim is on the rebound, I mean really, looking for a new wife BEFORE he is divorced form the other. How tacky, a gentleman would at least let his sheets cool off before taking another wife.

Breathlessly waiting James

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Dear Sister Phebe, I know that you understand how important it is to be a good house keeper, cook and mother. I also understand how important it is for you to rewarding career. You have been on your own for some time and might not want to retire quite yet. I can work around that small problem as long as it is a field that is some how related to the work of the Lord. Many of our Sisters do work for the Lord and find it very rewarding.
I do so long for the comfort that is given by a good woman such as yourself, to snuggle up with you by a roaring fire and read the Bible, basking in your Heavenly glow would make me a very happy man. I do wish you a good evening and may God Bless you.

Hoping patiently James

Oh dear.. James.... I am glad you understand my work is important to me and has been an integral part of my life for a long time now and even to take a husband, my foremost priority would be to Jesus and working with young whores and street urchins. Certainly though, after a day of dealing with such riff-raff, I would love nothing more than to tend to my household chores, cook you a wonderful meal and then after, snuggle up with THE Good Book, whilst you partake of some of my "double-dip very cherry pie".

It seems however that Rev Jim sees me as nothing more than a "rebound" to you. Is there any truth in this?

@ Rev Jim. I have much to ponder at the moment. You and Mr Dewitt, Brother Rubicon, Brother Dirk with his very persuasive arguement for my affections and even Brother Warner, I think also throwing his hat into the the spring-form baking ring....

I am in such turmoil right now.

I must go pray on this, long and hard.

YIC,

Phebe.

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

@Mrs. P Wintersnow You are so lucky! I can not wait till I get 18. When Rev. Jim Osborne gave me my new underwear he told me he had something very special for me in mind with his Ladies of the Lord evangelical program.

Oh really Sister Felicity? Did he elaborate on these "plans" as in, what position he had in mind for you?

YIC,

Sister Phebe.

[Felicity]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

@Mrs. P Wintersnow You are so lucky! I can not wait till I get 18. When Rev. Jim Osborne gave me my new underwear he told me he had something very special for me in mind with his Ladies of the Lord evangelical program.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

My Dear Phebe,

Really, just ignore Brother Dewitt. He is rather heartbroken with his recent troubles and is desperately trying to attach himself to anyone. Not saying that only desperate men would go for you though! I'm saying it's easy for him to go after any lovely lady blindly, in the hopes of easing his loneliness. What he needs is time. I personally recommend dropping all contact with him for the next six months. He will be very grateful for that.

Now, I wanted to ask something rather intimate of you since your value to me hedges completely on this. Now, as we all know it's a sin for a decent Christian woman to visit a gynecologist (under any circumstances, no matter how dire). However, I wanted to know just how fertile you still are. With your advancing age, vaginal friction should be the least of your worries. Can you produce some healthy Christian soldiers in the next couple of years? Will your hip bones be able to bear bouncy and stout Rev. Jim Jrs?

I do not want infertility to get in the way of possible True Love.

Yours always,

Rev. Jim

PS - I go to the lawyers' tomorrow to finalize the divorce papers before submitting them to court.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Thank you so much Sister Sylvia, my very good friend.

You too deserve the same....so.... well, you know what I mean!

Do it Sister, do it!

YIC,

Sister Phebe.

It will be stressful on my heart, but I CAN accomodate both of you as we witness together.

Praise Jesus that all three of us should come together as we praise His name!

May He be in you both!

[James Dewitt]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Dear Sister Phebe, I know that you understand how important it is to be a good house keeper, cook and mother. I also understand how important it is for you to rewarding career. You have been on your own for some time and might not want to retire quite yet. I can work around that small problem as long as it is a field that is some how related to the work of the Lord. Many of our Sisters do work for the Lord and find it very rewarding.
I do so long for the comfort that is given by a good woman such as yourself, to snuggle up with you by a roaring fire and read the Bible, basking in your Heavenly glow would make me a very happy man. I do wish you a good evening and may God Bless you.

Hoping patiently James

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Sister Phebe,

How wonderful to see you here! I will pray that Jesus sends you a match made in Heaven!

You deserve a True Christian husband that above all else will LOVE you, you are such a Godly lady!

God bless you my dear friend


Yours in Christ


Sylvia

Thank you so much Sister Sylvia, my very good friend.

You too deserve the same....so.... well, you know what I mean!

Do it Sister, do it!

YIC,

Sister Phebe.

[handmaiden]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Yeah, Dewitt. Anything she can do for you.

I do not care for the insinuating tone of your font use.


Disapprovingly Youurs,

Handmaiden

[Dirk]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Hi everyone,

As you know I have been without an earthly partner since the early 1990's.

Sure, Jesus fulfills me as much as any gal could possibly want, but on occasion, I do crave the company of a gentleman, even on my "downtime" to sit and watch The Christian Channel with me over tea and pie. Gosh, even a compliment on my doily placement would be nice from time to time.

So that said, I am taking the plunge and putting myself out there in the hope to find a suitable husband.

I have never done anything like this before so please excuse the brief personal advert. I suppose the best thing to do, should anyone be interested, is to ask me questions; which of course, I would be more than forthcoming with a truthful answer to.

Now I suppose it is a wait and see as to what The Lord has in store.

Thank you for your time.

YIC,

Sister Phebe.

My wife has been dead for a while, you seem like a good Christian woman.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Sister, I can vouch for Brother Dewitt. When staying with him, he's been nothing but a good Christian Gentleman. He is also enthusiastically grateful for a good pie. He has done absolutely everything to help Seth and me get the new house up. In fact if Seth wasn't around



No need for the rest

Sister you are so kind. I am just trying to help a good Christian out. Who just happens to have wonderful pie.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Thinking It Is About Time I Got Back Out There

Sister, I can vouch for Brother Dewitt. When staying with him, he's been nothing but a good Christian Gentleman. He is also enthusiastically grateful for a good pie. He has done absolutely everything to help Seth and me get the new house up. In fact if Seth wasn't around

I am sorry that it didn't work out with his fiancé, but to be honest she just didn't seem that interested when I attempted to show here how to make a proper cobbler, and it does sound like he would of been stuck with a meddlesome mother-in-law with her.

Now as for Pastor Osborne, he also seems like a good Christian man, but I have just not spent the time with him that I have spent with Brother Dewitt. We met briefly at Brother COM's so he could take a look at my dogs, but that was about it.

I would say you have a tough choice on your hands.