Sister Taliban having failed me,

[Old Heller]

...this pore ol' WW1 veteran is still in search of some kind femail Christian soule to give soulace to a worried man in the sunset of his life. She tole me she was coming down to Dime Box to meet me at the Ol Sojer's Home, but she didn't come, and mumbled some horse hocky ('scuse me, Jesus ) about how I din't have no money er somethin'. All I got to say is thats no way to treat a ol man what served his country. I hadda git some money outta my mattress fer bus fair to Rayanosa, Mexico to visit some girls what would comfort me, Praise Jesus. Dern if it don't make my heart ache how little some a you Christian women is to hardhearted to hep a pore ol man.

So now I hav to ask for some REAL Christian women to step on down the way to Dime Box for a little prayer and meditations with this weary ol soul. Soons they let me post a pitcher of me myself, you ladies will see what a cache I am. I may be old and have some hard miles on me, but I clean up better than most men even 10 years younger than me.

Corporal Blevins Heller, US Army retired.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Sister Taliban having failed me,

...this pore ol' WW1 veteran is still in search of some kind femail Christian soule to give soulace to a worried man in the sunset of his life.

WWI vet, hey, your in luck Heller, Pastor Al is a WWI vet. Fought with the Marines at Bellue Wood were his Bible stopped a kraut bayonet. There is a great painting in the vestibule of Landover Baptist of Pastor Al beating that Kraut to death with his rife.

[Talitha]

Re: Sister Taliban having failed me,

Here you Old Coot.
You seem to be obsessed by the Taliban Sand Niggers, so here's some you can have!

[Old Heller]

Re: Sister Taliban having failed me,

Here you Old Coot.
You seem to be obsessed by the Taliban Sand Niggers, so here's some you can have!

Sister, Sister, Sister! I think you gonna have to wash yuor mouth out, I just got home yestiday from visitin them nice girls down in Reayanosah, and after I had another kidney transplant, I looked at yuor messidge. My ol' Momma and Daddy tol' me NEVER to call a nigger a nigger. The polite term, my dear, is colored person.

I have decided that the folks at Landinover Babptist aint jus' a whole lot holyer than the ol fokes down at the Two-Seed-In-The-Spirit-Antediluvian Baptiss church I use ta go to back fore they maid me quit drivin.

But praise Jesus, I think them lil girls down in Messico gonna be real glad to help me pick out a new suit a close an a nice lemosine with all the $$ I got from them awl leases. Kinda too bad, too, cause ah like yer knockers. Wait a minit--that waus Glendora with the amazin grace knockers, wan't it?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Sister Taliban having failed me,

Unless you want to spend eternity gulping hot sulfur in hellfire, I'd suggest you hit the Paypal button at the bottom of this page and send every last penny you've got to Jesus, c/o Landover Baptist Church.

Let's face it old timer, you are only seconds away from Jesus killing you. Make the decision NOW to gain Salvation, before its too late. You sure can't take that loot with you, and Jesus needs a new pair of shoes.

[Old Heller]

Re: Sister Taliban having failed me,

Unless you want to spend eternity gulping hot sulfur in hellfire, I'd suggest you hit the Paypal button at the bottom of this page and send every last penny you've got to Jesus, c/o Landover Baptist Church.

Let's face it old timer, you are only seconds away from Jesus killing you. Make the decision NOW to gain Salvation, before its too late. You sure can't take that loot with you, and Jesus needs a new pair of shoes.

You know, preacher, I had me a whole passel of wives and helpmates in my time, an from the looks a things, the way some a yer church ladies been funnin' me along, there might be a couple or 3 more from your church comin' my way.

An' I got kids...don't never none of em come to see me no more, but a couple a my wives done left suddenly carrying wigglin little bundles with thim. Sevrul of 'em got kinda peeved 'cause I allus liked to go out huntin' er fishin for sevrul days a time.

By the Way, preach, I got a bone to pick with you. You claimed I din't go to no WW1 on account I wuz married. Whut you dont unnderstand is I WAZ married, but ol Bessie May Mucho (I allus did take a shine to them Meskin women) done left me after I stomped her old lady, Praise Jesus. Not that she dint have it comin. Anyways, I sined up fer the artilary an' went to Fort Shill, Oklahomer in April of 19-ought 17. God ain't never seen that place fer sure, or he tryna fergit about it.

So preacher, to answer yer inquiry, unless ye got some crackerjack lawyers, I caint see how I kin hep you much at yer church. Course, if you was to send down a ride to Dime Box, an show me around up their in IoWay, I mought be able to make a leetle gift. praise Jesus.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Sister Taliban having failed me,

By the Way, preach, I got a bone to pick with you. You claimed I din't go to no WW1 on account I wuz married. Whut you dont unnderstand is I WAZ married, but ol Bessie May Mucho (I allus did take a shine to them Meskin women) done left me after I stomped her old lady, Praise Jesus. Not that she dint have it comin. Anyways, I sined up fer the artilary an' went to Fort Shill, Oklahomer in April of 19-ought 17. God ain't never seen that place fer sure, or he tryna fergit about it.

Bah. My Father was in the Army in WW1 and would have won it singlehanded if the Marines hadn't shipped over and taken to shooting Jerries at a thousand yards with their '03 Springfields until there weren't any left. The Americans didn't even HAVE any artillery over there. It was all stationed along the Mexican border to keep that greaser Pancho Villa from invading Brownsville.

[CodyKJV]

Re: Sister Taliban having failed me,

Unless you want to spend eternity gulping hot sulfur in hellfire, I'd suggest you hit the Paypal button at the bottom of this page and send every last penny you've got to Jesus, c/o Landover Baptist Church.

I hope you're joking. That sounds like something Benny Hinn or the Catholic church would say.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Sister Taliban having failed me,

I hope you're joking. That sounds like something Benny Hinn or the Catholic church would say.

We're not selling indulgences or anything, but the Bible is quite clear on the necessity of tithing. Think of Malachi 3:8-10 or Mark 12:41-44.

[CodyKJV]

Re: Sister Taliban having failed me,

We're not selling indulgences or anything, but the Bible is quite clear on the necessity of tithing. Think of Malachi 3:8-10 or Mark 12:41-44.

Yeah, we're suppose to tithe, but Salvation has nothing to do with tithing. Just because someone doesn't give money to a church, doesn't mean they're going to burn in Hell.

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: Sister Taliban having failed me,

Yeah, we're suppose to tithe, but Salvation has nothing to do with tithing. Just because someone doesn't give money to a church, doesn't mean they're going to burn in Hell.

Tithing will not get anyone saved. No one can tithe their way into Heaven.

However, if someone is saved, he will do good works as a natural consequence. If someone fails to do good works, it means his faith is dead (James 2).

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Talitha]

Re: Sister Taliban having failed me,

That Old Coot will need all the help he can get. He was pestering me with messages non-stop until Pastor put a block on him.

Brother Cody, I notice a complete lack of Paypal / Donation Button on your own Forum.
I make regular Loving Donations to this Forum as well as my regular Tithing.
I think anyone who enjoys using a facility such as this should give donations, not only to help in It's running but also as a kind of "Token of Respect" to those who put in that little extra on top of their usual Church duties.

[MarkBroccardo]

Re: Sister Taliban having failed me,

Yeah, we're suppose to tithe, but Salvation has nothing to do with tithing. Just because someone doesn't give money to a church, doesn't mean they're going to burn in Hell.

Where did you read that nonsense - in the Koran? Everyone knows that you have to pay for salvation. Sheesh, where have you been?

[GunnerSquad (On Moderation)]

Re: Sister Taliban having failed me,

Here you Old Coot.
You seem to be obsessed by the Taliban Sand Niggers, so here's some you can have!

[ATTACH]183[/ATTACH]

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE

[Talitha]

Re: Sister Taliban having failed me,

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE

We merely try to Save people.
In this case I was just trying to help this elderly man find a new wife.
Is there a problem here?