[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

Too bad to commit adultery I have to be married, which I am not. So, nice try, but nothing.

1 Corinthians 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

6:10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners,shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Not to worry, I think you're pretty much covered.

[I'm_Fabolous!]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

VILE SINNER!
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Matthew 5:28

Too bad to commit adultery I have to be married, which I am not. So, nice try, but nothing.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

nice....

VILE SINNER!
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Matthew 5:28

[Mom (Quarantined)]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

You were the ones who started the whole 4-20 thing anyway. Maybe you shouldn't say something unless you know what it is.

Oh dear God...Why haven't they kicked you out yet? On second thought, why in the HELL was the LBC discussing the origins of 4:20? Thinking about taking up marijauna? That's the last thing we need is a bunch of lunatic Pastors on pot. It'll be Westboro all over again...

[I'm_Fabolous!]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

im 23 and looking for a guy who can be himself around me and doesn't have to put on an act. im a hard worker but i like to party to, dancing is my favorite hobby and of course shoppin!! basically….im a care free down to earth girl with a dash of seriousness.

nice....

[Brother Temperance]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

The cat?

How high are you?

[Dameon_ACLUtard]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

The cat?

[see_the_light]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

And while your point is well taken, your spelling insults Jesus deeply. What on earth is a "TRUE CHRISTION"?

A thousand "forgive me" couldn't excuse me.

I HAVE SINNED!

Through a neglectful copy/paste at hours where we are too weak to see.

I was touched by the beautiful message and let reckless enthusiasm lead me to grammar perdition.

You are too kind by even with such error mentioning the point as well taken.

I don't deserve it and my company is not fit for GOOD TRUE CHRISTIANS like you.

But you have shown over and over a patience befitting the most compassionate of TRUE CHRISTIANS.

Lead me a bit longer that through your support I might reach the LORD and say

"Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy right hand hath holden me up, and thy gentleness hath made me great."

Psalms 18:35

For LANDOVER BAPTISTS are truly HIS RIGHT HAND!

PRAY TO JESUS OUR SAVIOUR!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

And while your point is well taken, your spelling insults Jesus deeply. What on earth is a "TRUE CHRISTION"?

[see_the_light]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

In heaven you can have an orgasm whenever you like by clicking your fingers. In Hell there is sex, but no orgasms. Your partner will stink, be 80-years-old (looking, but be abnormally strong and rough) screw you savagely for 90 seconds, then hop off, sodomise you violently a couple of times; then, with the help of his demon friends, go back to smacking you around and tormenting you in other ways.

Excuse me pastor, but except for the revolting term "sodomise" that brings that acursed city to mind and might be better applied on the STRICT sense of homers lying with homers...

"deuteronomy 23:17 There shall be no whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of Israel"

Leviticus 18:22

"Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination"

As men (even homers I assume) lack the particular entrance of women, THEN the interdict is on using homers as seems FIT to use a woman and. Therefore any pleasuring a woman can give his TRUE CHRISTIAN Husband should be little solace for the pains he endures trying to save, train her...Or Do I err?

Well and as for all the rest it seems fit for the education of a proper christian woman (of course the smacking must only be done by the husband, no demon friend allowed)

Checklist

1. A true christian woman must revel in presence of her pure TRUE CHRISTIAN husband (regardless of details of the flesh), his SAVED SOUL is all the beauty the woman needs.

stink, be 80-years-old... CHECK

2. A TRUE CHRISTION husband is blessed with the vigor of his faith. PRAISE THE LORD!

but be abnormally strong and rough) screw you savagely ... CHECK

3. A TRUE CHRISTION husband, knowing woman's weakness, shall not allow lust to tempt her, doing what he must even at the cost of sacrificing his desires. In such a case he saves the woman from falling into Satans hands and reminds her of her role as her husband's property and burden

90 seconds, then hop off, sodomise you violently a couple of times ... CHECK

3. A TRUE CHRISTION husband never rests, always ready to correct the (endless) mistakes that are woman's nature (I assume you joked on the demon, reminding in a parable that no-one could have vigour enough to sustain the correctings without supernatural help, in the case of a TRUE CHRISTIAN the sthrengh of JESUS OUR SAVIOUR!

then, with the help of his demon friends, go back to smacking you around and tormenting you in other ways ... CHECK

I must ask how you have reached such a nearness to our SAVIOUR that he inspires you to with the most sublime elegance.

You remind that woman that should she be saved (unlikely as it seems at this moment) the presence of GOD in heaven pales any orgasm.

Then you show what she should seek for salvation, a TRUE CHRISTIAN HUSBAND that corrects her and shows that sex is but a part of the neverending toil that his devotion to his wife entails. his own CROSS!

PRAISE THE LORD!

[Talitha]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

Nice, Eno, real nice. But your bible doesn't say that. And hey, let's pretend that was true. Could be worse! They could look like Dubya.

The Pastor is close to Jesus© and knows these things far better than we ever could.
He is wiser than us in so many ways, so Missy, I suggest you start treating him with the respect he deserves.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

In heaven you can have an orgasm whenever you like by clicking your fingers. In Hell there is sex, but no orgasms. Your partner will stink, be 80-years-old (looking, but be abnormally strong and rough) screw you savagely for 90 seconds, then hop off, sodomise you violently a couple of times; then, with the help of his demon friends, go back to smacking you around and tormenting you in other ways.

Nice, Eno, real nice. But your bible doesn't say that. And hey, let's pretend that was true. Could be worse! They could look like Dubya.

[Enobarbus]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

Yeeah Hellion! *high fives hellion*

In heaven you can have an orgasm whenever you like by clicking your fingers. In Hell there is sex, but no orgasms. Your partner will stink, be 80-years-old (looking, but be abnormally strong and rough) screw you savagely for 90 seconds, then hop off, sodomise you violently a couple of times; then, with the help of his demon friends, go back to smacking you around and tormenting you in other ways.

[Enobarbus]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

I thought you two both claimed to be virgins?

You have taken the words right out of my mouth Brother. Although Hellion has admitted to self-pollution, which I'm sure comes as no surprise to anyone who has heard her foul rantings here.

[see_the_light]

Re: looking for some goodtimes - 23

im 23 and looking for a guy who can be himself around me and doesn't have to put on an act. im a hard worker but i like to party to, dancing is my favorite hobby and of course shoppin!! basically….im a care free down to earth girl with a dash of seriousness.

Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies....

wait! YOUNG ROES???!!!! might as well say full grown buffaloes!

But the LORD works in misterious ways, if those pseudo-scientific lies of Newton applied then with that mass you'd be really be "DOWN to earth"

Your upright photo is proof enough of their error!

Even if we KNOW THE TRUTH it can still be useful for sending to those atheistic so-called scientists. That will SHOW THEM!