Pleas pray that Captain Asshat get prompoted to True Christain!

[Captain_Asshat]

Hey nuckelheads! So God works in misterous ways, huh? Where's that kinky threesome wi the Olsen twins he promise me??

Ok, So I thought i'd aim a little lower this time... how's about this time we all pray that God promote me to a True ChristerTM ???
PRAISE THE LARD!

Yea, all you peckerhats got that True ChristerTM thingy under your names, but all I got is 'Unshaved-Trash'.... again! What up with that?

Come on guys, what do ah need to do ? Humor me? You want me to wash in Jesus blood? Heck, I'll do it. I'll bath in that sucker!

Pleas pray for me .. that I get saved an stuff!

[Jean Poole]

Re: Pleas pray that Captain Asshat get prompoted to True Christai

Asshat, you must pray the sinner's prayer yourself. Then you will be Saved. But do not lie to us, we know a True Christian ™ when we see one!

However, anyone who refers to the LORD as the LARD is truly unsaved and worthy of eternal damnation.

That said, I shall pray that the Lord improves your spelling and grammar.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Pleas pray that Captain Asshat get prompoted to True Christai

Ever heard of the expression "pearls before swine?" That comes from the Bible, and it applies to you.

Matthew 7:5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye. 7:6 Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.

Praying for the likes of you would be like putting lipstick on a pig.

[SUV]

Re: Pleas pray that Captain Asshat get prompoted to True Christai

A True Christian named.....Captain Asshat?

Friend, perhaps you should switch to "Sister Easter Bonnet" and see what ensues

[Mr Godwin]

Re: Pleas pray that Captain Asshat get prompoted to True Christai

Hey nuckelheads! So God works in misterous ways ... Pleas pray for me ... that I get saved an stuff!

Hey dingleberry, look on the bright side. Maybe they will still let you flip burgers for a living down in hell. That's my take on it.

[Captain_Asshat]

Re: Pleas pray that Captain Asshat get prompoted to True Christai

Hey, am still waitin, knuckleheads!

C'mon! U know u wanna make me a True ChristerTM!

I done everythin ya all said I should. I even went on a diet for all you asshats lik ya wanted .... lost 2 pounds too!!!

Hey, yea, ok, so ah did put the 2 pounds back on (plus another 5) at Frankie Fishbakes-All-You-Can_Eat Fried Fish and Chicken Buffet Restrant! But thats not the point!

Captain A for True Christer! Ya know ya wanna vote on it!

[SUV]

Re: Pleas pray that Captain Asshat get prompoted to True Christai

I even went on a diet for all you asshats lik ya wanted .... lost 2 pounds too!!!

Yeah, Right - That was after you chucked the KJV 1611 Holey Bible out of your back pocket,
thinking we wouldn't notice!

No, wait - the KJV weighs at least 15 pounds, doesn't it?!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Pleas pray that Captain Asshat get prompoted to True Christai

I have an idea, let's make this topic interesting.

Sister SUV, is that Hitoshi's father in the middle of your signature photo?

There, that's much more interesting than Crapstain Assclown.

[SUV]

Re: Pleas pray that Captain Asshat get prompoted to True Christai

I have an idea, let's make this topic interesting.

Sister SUV, is that Hitoshi's father in the middle of your signature photo?

Why yes, Reverend, I Believe it is. He's on his Cell Phone, trying to 'hit on' the Capt'n (shown up front, in the purple shirt. Whether this was Before or After this "weighty loss," The Christ knows I cannot tell).

Perhaps the two of them, now, are plotting Rat Attack 2008 ("RA8")
upon our Godly Board. Sad, isn't it?

[Billybob Sunday]

Re: Pleas pray that Captain Asshat get prompoted to True Christai

Brother Asshat,

I had to vote against you because you are attracted to those worthless harlots, the Olsen Twins.

A much better choice would have been the Gaede twins:

[Mr. Seth Cochran]

Re: Pleas pray that Captain Asshat get prompoted to True Christai

Brother Asshat,

I had to vote against you because you are attracted to those worthless harlots, the Olsen Twins.

A much better choice would have been the Gaede twins:

I've heard of this group before over at NewSaxon.com, but I didn't know that they were so young. Those Olsen twins are disgusting harlots. Like that damned Britney Spears. But let's not get into gossiping here. That belongs in Mrs. Betty Bower's sub-forum.

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: Pleas pray that Captain Asshat get prompoted to True Christai

Brother Asshat, you certainly have some level of colloquial charm but you are not yet ready for primetime as it were.

If you learn how to control your explosive defecation's better you might have a chance.

YIC,
Sayved

[Brother Terrence]

Re: Pleas pray that Captain Asshat get prompoted to True Christai

I pray for you asshat. However I can NOT vote you to the ranks of TrueChristian if you can't actually spell it. Let's aim for something a bit more befitting, say TrooCrissten.

[Juliette]

Re: Pleas pray that Captain Asshat get prompoted to True Christai

Listen fatboy. Jesus hates you.

Unless you do something about that He'll consider this request an insult.

.

Take Pastor Zeke for an example. Heavy job, always on the road and still a man worth looking at. (forgive me Sister Thumper, )

[Mr. Seth Cochran]

Re: Pleas pray that Captain Asshat get prompoted to True Christai

Listen fatboy. Jesus hates you.

Unless you do something about that He'll consider this request an insult.

.

Take Pastor Zeke for an example. Heavy job, always on the road and still a man worth looking at. (forgive me Sister Thumper, )

I agree. There are just so many things about Asshat that Jesus hates. He's fat, can't spell, probably smells bad, and insults True Christians™. He's about the farthest thing from a True Christian™ I can think of that has a physical body. He's disgusting and I am thankful that I won't have to spend a second of eternity with him. Thank you, Jesus for saving me and thank you Pastor Ezekiel for guiding me into Jesus' loving arms!