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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78555
    #16
    Re: Please Pray for Sister Mary Maria's Fetus

    I have no personal knowledge of this, I'd like to state that for the record.

    Congratulations, sister. I'll be the first one to spank it, moments after it's born.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • Mistress Cookie
        Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
        True Christian™
        • Jul 2008
        • 6790
        #17
        Re: Please Pray for Sister Mary Maria's Fetus

        Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
        I wonder if it will be a boy or a girl?

        We can certainly expect it to receive extra attention from Mo over there if it's a boy.
        Let's pray for twins! Then we can name them Joseph and Mary.

          Comment

          • Larry Lee
            Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God
            True Christian™ Theologian
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 4464
            #18
            Re: Please Pray for Sister Mary Maria's Fetus

            Sad news.

            Sister M&M was seen throwing a plastic garbage bag into the dumpster behind Krogers
            sigpic

            I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

              Comment

              • Father Maurice Lester
                Ring-kissing Papist dog
                • Sep 2006
                • 3366
                #19
                Re: Please Pray for Sister Mary Maria's Fetus

                Originally posted by Larry Lee View Post
                Sad news.

                Sister M&M was seen throwing a plastic garbage bag into the dumpster behind Krogers


                "...And fetus not into temptation O Lord..."


                A sad day indeed. A little charcoal in the wood-pile has always been an American tradition... pre-dating even President Jefferson who is related to half of the NBA these days.

                If former Sister Mary Maria had stayed with The Church Of Rome this never would have happened. Long before Baptwits were scavenging for native table scraps in the Americas we Catholics were standing up for the rights of the unborn.



                Bless you, my master of miscarriage missives,
                Father Mo




                .
                A Cardinal in the making.

                  Comment

                  • JennyD
                    Honorary True Christian™
                    Sweet Placid Sister
                    Forum Member
                    • Dec 2007
                    • 9567
                    #20
                    Re: Please Pray for Sister Mary Maria's Fetus

                    Originally posted by Larry Lee View Post
                    Sad news.

                    Sister M&M was seen throwing a plastic garbage bag into the dumpster behind Krogers
                    Rest easy, Brother!

                    I have it on good authority that she was just disposing of an overcooked pot roast. Marcia at the deli counter told me all about it, how she'd dozed off or something and let the roast get all dry, and needed something quick for dinner before Mr. Whitford got home from work.

                    See? All perfectly innocent!
                    www.palibandaily.com - Your Christian News Source
                    Huckabee/Palin Gingrich 2012 will reclaim America for Christ! PRAISE!

                    Christian Ladies:
                    Savor your separation in style at the Monthly Visitor!

                      Comment

                      • Pastor Al E Pistle
                        Christ's Cōnsiliārius
                         
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 9323
                        #21
                        Re: Please Pray for Sister Mary Maria's Fetus

                        Originally posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
                        I'm so excited for you, Sister! You've waited a long time!
                        Ouch.
                        Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                        "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                        Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                          Comment

                          • Don Bozo el Guapo
                            God's Pincushion
                            • Apr 2008
                            • 651
                            #22
                            Re: Please Pray for Sister Mary Maria's Fetus

                            Attn: M&Ms Is this athlets fetus? Maybe you should try the xtian foot washing fetus thing. Does bearing your husbands heir mean you have matching moustaches now? Best wishes.
                            Wrestling with Demons.
                            Apostle at LARGE to the Heathen Latin Chicas.
                            LBCs Token compliance to NAFTA

                              Comment

                              • Mistress Cookie
                                Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
                                True Christian™
                                • Jul 2008
                                • 6790
                                #23
                                Re: Please Pray for Sister Mary Maria's Fetus

                                Originally posted by JennyD View Post
                                Rest easy, Brother! I have it on good authority that she was just disposing of an overcooked pot roast...All perfectly innocent!
                                But where IS she? It's kind of suspicious that she isn't here, sharing our joy.

                                Is it, dare I ask, a "difficult" pregnancy, and she's had to take to her bed?

                                Should we drop off soup?

                                  Comment

                                  • Bob4God
                                    Moderator
                                    Arms Dealer for CHRIST
                                    Hands folded for Jesus
                                     
                                    • Apr 2008
                                    • 5274
                                    #24
                                    Re: Please Pray for Sister Mary Maria's Fetus

                                    Of course the baby is alive and well inside Sister Mary's tummy.

                                    If it's a boy I'm sure you'll want to get him a gun for his first birthday, and name him after good old Bob who sold it to you at a discount price.
                                    sigpic
                                    The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
                                    - Proverbs 15:3

                                    CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


                                    CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


                                      Comment

                                      • Mistress Cookie
                                        Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
                                        True Christian™
                                        • Jul 2008
                                        • 6790
                                        #25
                                        Re: Please Pray for Sister Mary Maria's Fetus

                                        Originally posted by Bob4God View Post
                                        Of course the baby is alive and well inside Sister Mary's tummy.
                                        But where is she?

                                        Now I'm really worried.

                                        Where there's smoke, there's an abandoned fetus.

                                          Comment

                                          • Pastor Al E Pistle
                                            Christ's Cōnsiliārius
                                             
                                            • Sep 2006
                                            • 9323
                                            #26
                                            Re: Please Pray for Sister Mary Maria's Fetus

                                            She wasn't even preggers yesterday! She won't know for two more months!
                                            Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                                            "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                                            Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                                              Comment

                                              • Pastor Ezekiel
                                                Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                                 
                                                • Sep 2006
                                                • 78555
                                                #27
                                                Re: Please Pray for Sister Mary Maria's Fetus

                                                Originally posted by JennyD View Post
                                                Rest easy, Brother!

                                                I have it on good authority that she was just disposing of an overcooked pot roast. Marcia at the deli counter told me all about it, how she'd dozed off or something and let the roast get all dry, and needed something quick for dinner before Mr. Whitford got home from work.

                                                See? All perfectly innocent!
                                                Wait a minute...Why wouldn't she just toss the over-cooked roast to the family pitbulls? Your story doesn't add up, sister Jenny.

                                                This isn't one of those "accidents" that seem to happen from time-to-time at your Monthly Visitor flophouse for filthy females, is it?
                                                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                                  Comment

                                                  • Pastor Al E Pistle
                                                    Christ's Cōnsiliārius
                                                     
                                                    • Sep 2006
                                                    • 9323
                                                    #28
                                                    Re: Please Pray for Sister Mary Maria's Fetus

                                                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                                    Wait a minute...Why wouldn't she just toss the over-cooked roast to the family pitbulls? Your story doesn't add up, sister Jenny.

                                                    This isn't one of those "accidents" that seem to happen from time-to-time at your Monthly Visitor flophouse for filthy females, is it?
                                                    Suddenly this doesn't bode well. Bobby-Joe, put a team of crack investigators on Sister JennyD immediately!
                                                    Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                                                    "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                                                    Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                                                      Comment

                                                      • Mistress Cookie
                                                        Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
                                                        True Christian™
                                                        • Jul 2008
                                                        • 6790
                                                        #29
                                                        Re: Please Pray for Sister Mary Maria's Fetus

                                                        WHERE IS SHE??

                                                        (I mean our dear Sister Mary Maria)

                                                          Comment

                                                          • Nobar King
                                                            Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                                                            Christ's Guardian
                                                            True Christian™
                                                            • Sep 2007
                                                            • 23748
                                                            #30
                                                            Re: Please Pray for Sister Mary Maria's Fetus

                                                            I'm sure she's monitoring this discourse for the appropriate time to strike.
                                                            May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                                                              Comment

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