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  • WickedWitch
    Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved©
    CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
    • Jan 2007
    • 1366
    #1

    Immediate Prayers Needed

    Before you get all excited, this is not a medical emergency or anything else like that, but I do need prayers as soon as possible. Currently, there is a perfect blizzard-in-the-making brewing, but it's taking its sweet time! I need this blizzard to get going and it needs to happen now. I need to stay home from school today so I can do homework - please don't question the logic on this, I know it sounds crazy.

    You might not think this is deserving of your Prayers, but look at it this way: every day that Canadian children spend out of secular (and Catholic) schools, the closer they are to Jesus! Not only that but Alie, a known heathen Pagan and Witch, is asking for Godly Prayers from Godly People - is this a milestone? Possibly!

    Pray for a mighty blizzard (like the one Saskatoon had last month) to keep kids out of school today! Please!
    This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
    Tags: None
    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78555
      #2
      Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

      Foolish heathen! Jesus sends weather as He sees fit, to smite sinning scum mightily more often than not.

      Do not tempt Jesus. Accept whatever comes your way as His loving judgement.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • SUV
          True Christian™ Princess
          The Driving Force behind RA12
          Have at it, anytime!
          • Sep 2006
          • 11027
          #3
          Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

          Huzzahs and Mighty Hosannas up to Heaven per the request of Sister Alie!

          (I sure Hope Pastor doesn't kick my Fundament for doing this.....)

            Comment

            • WickedWitch
              Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved©
              CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
              • Jan 2007
              • 1366
              #4
              Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

              Originally posted by SUV View Post
              Huzzahs and Mighty Hosannas up to Heaven per the request of Sister Alie!

              (I sure Hope Pastor doesn't kick my Fundament for doing this.....)
              Thank you, Sister SUV! Does this mean you'll Pray for me?
              This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN

                Comment

                • SUV
                  True Christian™ Princess
                  The Driving Force behind RA12
                  Have at it, anytime!
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 11027
                  #5
                  Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

                  Originally posted by Undecided View Post
                  Thank you, Sister SUV! Does this mean you'll Pray for me?
                  Got scabs forming on my knees already, Sister!

                    Comment

                    • WickedWitch
                      Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved©
                      CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
                      • Jan 2007
                      • 1366
                      #6
                      Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

                      Thank you so much, Sister! Have I told you lately that I platonically Love you?
                      This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN

                        Comment

                        • Pastor Ezekiel
                          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                           
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 78555
                          #7
                          Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

                          Originally posted by Undecided View Post
                          Thank you so much, Sister! Have I told you lately that I platonically Love you?
                          Plato was a greek homer. Take your lezbean gropings elsewhere. Sister SUV! Report to Pastor Pistle's estate immediately!
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                            Comment

                            • WickedWitch
                              Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved©
                              CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
                              • Jan 2007
                              • 1366
                              #8
                              Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

                              Relax, Pastor Zeke. Don't get your Godly Drawers all in a bunch - is there something wrong with Sisterly Love? Now, without twisting my words into something lesbian-like, answer that question. Are Sisters not supposed to Love each other?
                              This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN

                                Comment

                                • Brother Temperance
                                  Senior Usher
                                  True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                                  A very nice young man
                                  True Christian™
                                  • Sep 2006
                                  • 15621
                                  #9
                                  Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

                                  Originally posted by Undecided View Post
                                  Relax, Pastor Zeke. Don't get your Godly Drawers all in a bunch - is there something wrong with Sisterly Love? Now, without twisting my words into something lesbian-like, answer that question. Are Sisters not supposed to Love each other?
                                  Since when have you been Sister Sue's Sister, sinner?
                                  O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                                  God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                                    Comment

                                    • BornAgain
                                      Former Demoncrat, moving towards the Light.
                                      Forum Member
                                      • Jan 2007
                                      • 146
                                      #10
                                      Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

                                      If you weren't such a homer receiving anal sex 24/7 you might have gotten your evil secular homerwork done.
                                      Bush/Halliburton '08-Rapture!

                                        Comment

                                        • SUV
                                          True Christian™ Princess
                                          The Driving Force behind RA12
                                          Have at it, anytime!
                                          • Sep 2006
                                          • 11027
                                          #11
                                          Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

                                          Darn it, Alie, now I've gotten into trouble with our Men.

                                          I think I know why: Instead of Praying that a storm would happen so you could miss school, I should have been Praying that a storm would not happen so that you might be kicked out of secular "school" for not doing your Home-work, thereby needing to be Properly Home-schooled instead! Yay!

                                          But JESUS brokers no retractions

                                            Comment

                                            • OnYourKnees
                                              On Extended Furlough
                                              True Christian™
                                              • Nov 2006
                                              • 4729
                                              #12
                                              Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

                                              Originally posted by Undecided View Post
                                              Before you get all excited, this is not a medical emergency or anything else like that, but I do need prayers as soon as possible.

                                              Pray for a mighty blizzard (like the one Saskatoon had last month) to keep kids out of school today! Please!
                                              I'm praying for you, Undies!

                                              I'm praying that the Love of Jesus spills upon you, showering you in its golden light, and that you drink your fill of His Joy!

                                              No snow, though. Maybe if you spent more time doing homework and less online begging for blizzards, you wouldn't be behind.

                                                Comment

                                                • WickedWitch
                                                  Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved©
                                                  CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
                                                  • Jan 2007
                                                  • 1366
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

                                                  Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                                                  Since when have you been Sister Sue's Sister, sinner?
                                                  Since forever, goofy.
                                                  Originally posted by BornAgain View Post
                                                  If you weren't such a homer receiving anal sex 24/7 you might have gotten your evil secular homerwork done.
                                                  1) Alie doesn't have anal sex; 2) Alie hasn't had sex in nearly three years (and I think I should count as a virgin for that); 3) I don't think you could get my homework done in the short amount of time my teachers give me, so old :p.
                                                  Originally posted by SUV View Post
                                                  Darn it, Alie, now I've gotten into trouble with our Men. I see that, and I'm sorry for it.

                                                  I think I know why: Instead of Praying that a storm would happen so you could miss school, I should have been Praying that a storm would not happen so that you might be kicked out of secular "school" for not doing your Home-work, thereby needing to be Properly Home-schooled instead! Yay! Ah, yes, I see! Unfortunately there is no one to home-school me.

                                                  But JESUS brokers no retractions
                                                  Well, that is a pickle. If it makes you feel any better, or if it improves the situation, there isn't very much of a blizzard happening and so far, no schools are closing because of the weather.

                                                  Originally posted by OnYourKnees View Post
                                                  I'm praying for you, Undies! *Twitches her nose* I'm not sure I like the sound of that...

                                                  I'm praying that the Love of Jesus spills upon you, showering you in its golden light, and that you drink your fill of His Joy! Yep, that's it. I knew there was going to be something a little bit off about you praying for me. But I appreciate the thought.

                                                  No snow, though. Maybe if you spent more time doing homework and less online begging for blizzards, you wouldn't be behind.
                                                  Maybe if I only had one of my hard courses this semester it wouldn't be a big deal and I'd have everything done. But I don't have that kind of luck, so instead I've got a heavy course-load (about which you've all heard me complain numerous times, I'm sure), each class involving enough homework to make someone go crazy, and each bit of homework with a deadline that's just plain stupid. I dare you to do all my homework on time. You think you could?
                                                  Last edited by WickedWitch; 02-23-2007, 06:20 PM.
                                                  This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Brother Temperance
                                                      Senior Usher
                                                      True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                                                      A very nice young man
                                                      True Christian™
                                                      • Sep 2006
                                                      • 15621
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

                                                      Originally posted by Undecided View Post
                                                      Maybe if I only had one of my hard courses this semester it wouldn't be a big deal and I'd have everything done. But I don't have that kind of luck, so instead I've got a heavy course-load (about which you've all heard me complain numerous times, I'm sure), each class involving enough homework to make someone go crazy, and each bit of homework with a deadline that's just plain stupid. I dare you to do all my homework on time. You think you could?
                                                      Friend, this is Jesus' way of telling you to drop out of school and focus on fulltime Bible study. Besides, you think you have it bad? I know someone who's a Polack. Seriously, no kidding, a real live Polack. And you think you have a reason to feel sorry for yourself!
                                                      O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                                                      God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                                                        Comment

                                                        • OnYourKnees
                                                          On Extended Furlough
                                                          True Christian™
                                                          • Nov 2006
                                                          • 4729
                                                          #15
                                                          Re: Immediate Prayers Needed

                                                          Originally posted by Undecided View Post
                                                          I dare you to do all my homework on time. You think you could?
                                                          I see. So now, instead of praying for a blizzard, you want to dare us into doing your homework for you!

                                                          Just like Satan daring God to let him torture Job! Except you'd be using our work to pass your school courses. Satan just did it for fun.

                                                            Comment

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