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  • #1

    Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

    Now that Landover Baptist Church has been so successful in 2009 in our organized prayer vigils for the deaths of Patrick Swayze, Ted Kennedy, Karl Malden, Ed McMahon, Michael Jackson and others, whose death shall we pray for next? I think we should compile a list so we can go about this in an organized and successful manner. Here is my list:

    Robert Byrd (D-WV)
    Kirk Douglas

    Tony Curtis
    Walter Mondale
    Andy Dick
    Betty Ford
    Farley Granger
    Nelson Mandela
    Jimmy Carter
    Elizabeth Taylor
    Doris Day
    Bishop Desmond Tutu
    Mike Connors (TV's "Mannix")
    Amy Winehouse
    Michael Moore
    Keith Olbermann
    Tags: olsen twins, patrick swayze, patrick swayze dead, prayer, richard gere
  • #2
    Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

    I think Eckhart Tolle has been playing the part of Judas goat long enough. We'd better get him out of the picture before he corrupts any more souls!
    Attached Files
    Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

      Thus says the LORD:

      "Have I any pleasure at all that the wicked should die? saith the Lord God: and not that he should return from his way and live? For I have no pleasure in the death of him that dieth, saith the Lord God: wherefore, turn yourselves, and live ye."--Ezek. 18:23, 32.

      "Say unto them, As I live, saith the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live: turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways, for why will ye die, O house of Israel?"--Ezek. 33:11.

      What's your spin on THAT?
      ACTS 5:29
      But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men."
      There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

        "He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the LORD shall have them in derision." Psalm 2:4

        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

          I forgot David Bowie on my list.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

            Whoever that negress is in that photograph. She looks like she's stolen too many pies, so can we put her on the list?
            Though if she's somebody's maid, I'd hesitate in praying for their help to die...
            Posted via Prayer

            1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
            Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

            Blogging for CHRIST!
            Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
            All a-Twitter for Salvation!
            Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
            On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
            My Ladies of Landover profile!

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

              Originally posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
              Whoever that negress is in that photograph. She looks like she's stolen too many pies, so can we put her on the list?
              Though if she's somebody's maid, I'd hesitate in praying for their help to die...
              There are 10 or 12 Negro sow maids that look exactly like that just in the Leviticus Landing gated community. It would be nice if the ladies of Leviticus Landing could safely allow pies to cool on their kitchen window sills, but with Negro maids who look like that roaming the neighborhood, how could one ever take a chance?

              It is so difficult to find good help these days. Sad.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

                I've tried wetback maids, but their just as lazy and likely to steal. There is a bright side to B. Hussein Osama destroying the American though. My current maid is Tiffany, a young normal American who use to work in the banking industry. I felt bad at first, giving her a job normally suited more for colored folk, but she's just happy to have employment and listen to me witness to her about Jesus. If all goes well, I'll be able to save her and find her a True Christian(tm) husband.

                But I'm babbling! We need Jodie Foster on this list! A liberal atheist bulldyke with a bastard child! That deserves some extra death praying.
                Posted via Prayer

                1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
                Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

                Blogging for CHRIST!
                Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
                All a-Twitter for Salvation!
                Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
                On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
                My Ladies of Landover profile!

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

                  Originally posted by H. Montague Worthington View Post
                  I forgot David Bowie on my list.
                  And don't forget the remaining two "Beatles." They richly deserve to join their fellow God mockers in hell.
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

                    Are Penn and Teller still alive?
                    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

                      What is the holdup with Hanoi Jane Fonda not being dead yet?
                      Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.


                      sigpic

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

                        Originally posted by Levi Jones View Post
                        What is the holdup with Hanoi Jane Fonda not being dead yet?
                        That is a very good point. You might as well add her drug-addled brother Peter to the party as well.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

                          My list (in no particular order):

                          Pat Robertson

                          Jim Bakker

                          Kenneth Copeland

                          Gloria Copeland

                          Creflo Dollar

                          Benny Hinn

                          Joyce Meyer

                          Paula White

                          Eddie Long

                          Jerry Falwell (once more just for fun)

                          Fred Phelps

                          Shirley Roper-Phelps

                          The membership of Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas in its entirety

                          Scientology adherents

                          anyone who's ever publicly displayed a photo of a butchered fetus





                          Under consideration for inclusion on my list:
                          Mike Huckabee
                          Sarah Palin
                          Chuck Norris

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

                            Everytime Sean Penn goes to some America-hating commie country like Iraq (pre-War) or Venezuela, I pray that either his plane crashes en route, or he is the random victim of a car bomb. I personally think the Lord is saving Sean for something really big and glamorous and will smite him in a most glorious way.

                            Speaking of Sean, we can add his ex-wife Madonna to that list. She is such a whore. Her latest escapades deal with her doing some Babylonian orgy with the entire New York Yankees team. And this is a woman who just turned 50. Disgraceful. She makes Catherine the Great look like a virgin. Dirty, disgusting, WHORE!

                            I can also add "Reverends" Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton to that list. They're as much as a reverend as I as that steer I had for dinner. I don't see how they qualify as being reverends in the first place. Pop quiz: When is that last time you heard Jackson or Sharpton quote a Bible verse? Question #2: What church do they preach at (and no cheating using wikipedia)? Question #3: When have they ever upheld True Christian(tm) values?

                            Answers: 1) Never. 2) Nobody knows. 3) Never.

                            You can see my point. Running around and crying "RACISM!" at every turn is not the conduct of pastors.

                            I actually have a whole list of people whose death I pray for every night, but I don't have time to type it all out so I won't.

                            Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Death Prayers: Who is Next on Your List?

                              Originally posted by MirthMenace View Post
                              My list (in no particular order):

                              ...blahblahblah...

                              Chuck Norris
                              You aren't Saved(r), so Jesus doesn't hear your prayers.
                              Who Will Jesus Damn?

                              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                              Comment

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