General Church Prayer Request thread

[Bobby-Joe]

Here is brethren requesting you remember them in your prayers.

Louisa Barber; for successful gall balder operation. Jesus, we need Louisa up fro this years hotdog eating contest.

Ted Dooly: for successful foot operation. May Jesus save Ted's foot from amputation.

Valerie Reavely; for successful 9th pregnancy (five boys, way to go Valerie!)

Edward Fenton; for Des Moines city council to approve using emanate domain for his new shopping mall project. May Jesus prove false the claims of the low income property holders.

Joe Holdner (by his wife Better Holdner) for his successful recovery from the coma he is in (NOTE: this is not Mr Joe Holdner on the Church Gounds comitte)

Susan Stamps: for Jesus to help her unsaved niece Mary Tazner to find a new job and Christ. May Jesus led Mary to Brother Larry Lee's spiritual guidance sessions.

That is all I have for today. Please add any you have

[Mr. Robert Locklear]

Re: Prayer Request thread

I have printed this list and tacked it to the bulletin board in my prayer closet. I'm sure I can fit them into my schedule somewhere. Of course, I'll assign several of my Nigra servants to pray for them at certain times during the day.

Praying,

Mr. Robert Locklear

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Prayer Request thread

Today’s Prayer Requests

Sister Doris Barnes
request you pray for her to recover her eye sight so she may witness the glory of Jesus forever. Doris as you may recall is recovering from a propane stove explosion in her trailer. Pastors remind Chruch brethern not to skimp of home safty due to tithing.

Brother Cletus Campbell
Requests you pray for that Jesus gives Brother Nick’s wife Doris the patience and wisdom to forgive the three simultaneous extrametrical affairs Nick has been having over the last four years.

Sister Sissy Alexander
Requests your pray for her dying unsaved father. May Jesus guide Ned Martin to re-write his will leaving all his money to his Godly daughter Sissy before Ned Martin is sent to hell.

That is all I have for today. Please add your own to this thread.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: General Church Prayer Request thread

Brother Fred Stump

Requests prayers on behalf of his pitbull who is currently being held in custody at the dog pound for chewing the face off of young Fred Jr., aged 4. Brother Fred says the dog didn't mean any harm and is a good hunting dog and he just got carried away and anyway Fred Jr. never was going to be much of a looker anyways. Prayers are to be directed at the joo running the dog pound (Bert Kozinsky) asking Jesus to withold his hand and not destroy Fred's dog, Junior.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: General Church Prayer Request thread

You know, I told Fred not long ago that naming his son and his dog "Junior" was going to lead to trouble. Especially when he insisted on feeding them from matching bowls.

It's a shame. Tell me, is Fred Jr.'s nose flat now?

I do hope Fred hasn't let his dog go and condemn his son to eternal Hellfire by deforming him.