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  • eliot mayfield
    God Squad
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 9324
    #16
    Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

    I fear greatly for Pastor Zeke. I belive he escaped the hospital and made his way into Germany, where reliable sources place him her:



    Berlin Love Parade
    http://www.berlin-life.com/berlin/love-parade
    Berlin Love Parade - the world's biggest dance festival


    I'm sure when he saw Love Parade he was thinking about Jeus' love. But no telling what happened when he got there!
    Matthew:
    5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
    5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
    10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
    10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


    sigpic

      Comment

      • eliot mayfield
        God Squad
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 9324
        #17
        Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

        Oh dear. I just got this sent to me.
        Attached Files
        Matthew:
        5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
        5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
        10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
        10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


        sigpic

          Comment

          • Brother Temperance
            Senior Usher
            True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
            A very nice young man
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 15621
            #18
            Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

            Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
            I fear greatly for Pastor Zeke. I belive he escaped the hospital and made his way into Germany, where reliable sources place him her:



            Berlin Love Parade
            http://www.berlin-life.com/berlin/love-parade
            Berlin Love Parade - the world's biggest dance festival


            I'm sure when he saw Love Parade he was thinking about Jeus' love. But no telling what happened when he got there!
            I do hope that's not the case. Me and some fellow Christians tried protesting the Brighton Queer "Pride" parade recently, and it didn't go very well.
            O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



            God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

              Comment

              • SUV
                True Christian™ Princess
                The Driving Force behind RA12
                Have at it, anytime!
                • Sep 2006
                • 11027
                #19
                Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!



                Man God and Boy Jesus, but somebody ought to drop a nucular bum on that!!!

                  Comment

                  • Daisy Mae Johnson
                    The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                    Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                    aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                    True Christian™
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 15708
                    #20
                    Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

                    Oh Dear LORD! I just received THIS pic in my email.

                    I hope he out ran that She Bear. Has anyone hears ANYTHING?!???

                    Please GOD, please send my precious Sugarpie back home to me. IF you do, I promise to stop having unpure thoughts about Brother Remy.

                    I beseach the LORD. PLEASE!

                    Yours in HIM,

                    Humble Sister Thumper
                    Attached Files
                    sigpic

                    Tweet me Here
                    My GODLY Bio Here

                      Comment

                      • Sister Noddy
                        True Christian™
                        True Christian™
                        • Jun 2007
                        • 1843
                        #21
                        Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

                        Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post

                        Oh Dear LORD! I just received THIS pic in my email.

                        I hope he out ran that She Bear. Has anyone hears ANYTHING?!???

                        Please GOD, please send my precious Sugarpie back home to me. IF you do, I promise to stop having unpure thoughts about Brother Remy.

                        I beseach the LORD. PLEASE!

                        Yours in HIM,

                        Humble Sister Thumper
                        Ooooooooh Sister Thumper, you have my prayers that your precious (and outrageously gorgeous) Pastor Zeke be returned home to you (with all his parts intact) healthy, safe and well, just as soon as possible!

                        ... let us pray in Jesus' Name, noddy
                        1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
                        1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...

                        1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

                        Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
                        Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...

                          Comment

                          • Buford T Scoggins
                            Founder, Operation Rescue, Now in Heaven with Jesus
                            True Christian™
                            • Aug 2007
                            • 911
                            #22
                            Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!



                            So that's what Muslim babes look like when they take off their burkas. Now I understand why they wear them.
                            yours in Christ,
                            Brother Buford

                            sigpic

                            The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.
                            - Rush Limbaugh

                              Comment

                              • hellion
                                Nasty and Mean-Spirited
                                • Nov 2006
                                • 564
                                #23
                                Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

                                Does this mean BTB is single? I'll tell Matty right away!
                                "I do not go where the path leads. I instead create my own path ... and leave a snail trail."

                                Moderatio est Figmentum

                                  Comment

                                  • Talitha
                                    Deaconess
                                    Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
                                    True Christian™
                                    • Sep 2025
                                    • 15118
                                    #24
                                    Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

                                    Originally posted by hellion View Post
                                    Does this mean BTB is single? I'll tell Matty right away!
                                    Sorry Hell-on-earth but Pastor Ezekiel is back with us safe and sound. Much to the delight of Sister Thumper.

                                    I'm sure there are other Christian Ladies who may be interested in Matty.
                                    Some of them may even have their own teeth!!

                                    Sister Talitha

                                    Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


                                    HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
                                    being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


                                      Comment

                                      • hellion
                                        Nasty and Mean-Spirited
                                        • Nov 2006
                                        • 564
                                        #25
                                        Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

                                        Originally posted by Sister Talitha View Post
                                        Sorry Hell-on-earth but Pastor Ezekiel is back with us safe and sound. Much to the delight of Sister Thumper.

                                        I'm sure there are other Christian Ladies who may be interested in Matty.
                                        Some of them may even have their own teeth!!
                                        Darn. Now what's Zeke's last name? He told me but I forgot......

                                        Oh yeah, and Matt wants to know if you're single.
                                        "I do not go where the path leads. I instead create my own path ... and leave a snail trail."

                                        Moderatio est Figmentum

                                          Comment

                                          • hellion
                                            Nasty and Mean-Spirited
                                            • Nov 2006
                                            • 564
                                            #26
                                            Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

                                            Originally posted by hellion View Post
                                            Darn. Now what's Zeke's last name? He told me but I forgot......
                                            Never mind, I found it.
                                            "I do not go where the path leads. I instead create my own path ... and leave a snail trail."

                                            Moderatio est Figmentum

                                              Comment

                                              • Pastor Ezekiel
                                                Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                                 
                                                • Sep 2006
                                                • 78551
                                                #27
                                                Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

                                                Originally posted by hellion View Post
                                                Darn. Now what's Zeke's last name? He told me but I forgot......

                                                Oh yeah, and Matt wants to know if you're single.
                                                Don't bother sharing any of my personal details with Matty. I have told him repeatedly that I do not want to engage in the sodomite lifestyle with him. While I am technically single, I am betrothed to sister Thumper.

                                                Even if I wasn't, I would want to sodomize you.
                                                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                                  Comment

                                                  • hellion
                                                    Nasty and Mean-Spirited
                                                    • Nov 2006
                                                    • 564
                                                    #28
                                                    Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

                                                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                                    Don't bother sharing any of my personal details with Matty. I have told him repeatedly that I do not want to engage in the sodomite lifestyle with him. While I am technically single, I am betrothed to sister Thumper.

                                                    Even if I wasn't, I would want to sodomize you.
                                                    Don't you mean you wouldn't want to sodomize me?? 0_o And Matty likes BTB. What's this I hear about you being a gay president?
                                                    "I do not go where the path leads. I instead create my own path ... and leave a snail trail."

                                                    Moderatio est Figmentum

                                                      Comment

                                                      • Buford T Scoggins
                                                        Founder, Operation Rescue, Now in Heaven with Jesus
                                                        True Christian™
                                                        • Aug 2007
                                                        • 911
                                                        #29
                                                        Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

                                                        Originally posted by hellion View Post
                                                        Don't you mean you wouldn't want to sodomize me?? 0_o And Matty likes BTB. What's this I hear about you being a gay president?
                                                        Obviously another Demoncrat trap - the same people who framed Brother Senator Larry Craig, hacked the computer of Mark Foley, and planted the viagra on Rush Limbaugh during his "family values inspection tour" in the Dominican Republic.

                                                        As for a gay president, you're obviously getting confused with Bill Clinton. Of course, if his lesbian wife Hillary or that terrorist Barack Obama bin Laden gets elected, that will be our second gay president.

                                                        Never happen, of course, since God has degreed that George W Bush shalt have a third term.

                                                        Now excuse me, gotta go - the guy in the stall next to me is tapping his shoes. Must be some kind of Morse Code. Anyone know how to spell "The answer is Jesus" in Morse Code?

                                                        Yours in Christ,
                                                        Buford
                                                        yours in Christ,
                                                        Brother Buford

                                                        sigpic

                                                        The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.
                                                        - Rush Limbaugh

                                                          Comment

                                                          • Old Man Hatchet
                                                            Super Moderator
                                                            Beloved Church Elder
                                                            World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
                                                            True Christian™
                                                            • Sep 2006
                                                            • 2084
                                                            #30
                                                            Re: Pray for Pastor Ezekiel!

                                                            Originally posted by hellion View Post
                                                            Don't you mean you wouldn't want to sodomize me?? 0_o And Matty likes BTB. What's this I hear about you being a gay president?
                                                            Young man, Pastor Zeke has been blessed with unparalleled good looks and a superlative physique, and as such tempations abound. Yet he unflinchingly stays on the righteous path. He has been hounded by modeling agencies as well as film-makers to serve as a buttocks-double for Hellywood hunks, but he chooses to be a humble servant of the Lord. He is a straight arrow who will one day be a devoted and honorable husband to Sister Thumper. Show him the respect that he deserves.
                                                            Last edited by Old Man Hatchet; 09-11-2007, 08:21 PM.

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