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I recognize that Pastor Ezekiel Flint is probably the man who needs prayer the least among the created of God. Yet, he deserves it the most. If it was not for this True Christian™ Warrior, I would be doing life in prison, or worse yet, out on parole, running with the same perverse cultists that had once brainwashed me into their doctrine of ritual sex and drug abuse.
I have committed almost every sin there is. I've committed sorceries and sodomies and everything in between. Finally, the liberal Big Government took God's law into its own hands and locked me up, supposedly for good this time. At first, I didn't care, because I hated freedom. Like a damned terrorist Mohammedan, I just wanted to give my life to Satan in exchange for occult powers like telepathy and mind control. I wanted to bend others to my will, so I could force them to bow before the loins of the Dark One.
In prison I was raped. Everyday I was raped by huge Negro bucks. They called me "bitch" and slathered jizz all over my face like a French advertisement. I cried out to God, "is this what Hell is like???"
Then I received my first visitor. In between sadistic strokes to my anus, I managed to limp my way over to visitation to see who it was.
There before me was a being of light, dressed in a white on white suit, like an angel of the Lord. His blonde hair and blue eyes sent rays of healing to my tattered rectum, sealing it up like the post-deluvian firmament, never to be opened again, except for natural evacuations and the Holy Ghost.
"Are you done screwing with the Lord?" He asked me.
Pastor Ezekiel gave me a leather bound King James Bible (which I later paid for with interest) and told me to read it. And I did. While huge sweaty black bears raped my ass, I was reading the KJV and getting salvation.
Once I was through reading, I said a prayer and suddenly, the rape stopped. I was outprocessed, and a taxi was waiting for me outside, to take me to Freehold, Iowa! Hallelujia! I have been a True Christian™ ever since.
That's how easy it is. If I can do it, anybody can do it. You believe; you repent.
Anybody who refuses the gift of forgiveness is obviously just in love with ass rape.
I have committed almost every sin there is. I've committed sorceries and sodomies and everything in between. Finally, the liberal Big Government took God's law into its own hands and locked me up, supposedly for good this time. At first, I didn't care, because I hated freedom. Like a damned terrorist Mohammedan, I just wanted to give my life to Satan in exchange for occult powers like telepathy and mind control. I wanted to bend others to my will, so I could force them to bow before the loins of the Dark One.
In prison I was raped. Everyday I was raped by huge Negro bucks. They called me "bitch" and slathered jizz all over my face like a French advertisement. I cried out to God, "is this what Hell is like???"
Then I received my first visitor. In between sadistic strokes to my anus, I managed to limp my way over to visitation to see who it was.
There before me was a being of light, dressed in a white on white suit, like an angel of the Lord. His blonde hair and blue eyes sent rays of healing to my tattered rectum, sealing it up like the post-deluvian firmament, never to be opened again, except for natural evacuations and the Holy Ghost.
"Are you done screwing with the Lord?" He asked me.
Pastor Ezekiel gave me a leather bound King James Bible (which I later paid for with interest) and told me to read it. And I did. While huge sweaty black bears raped my ass, I was reading the KJV and getting salvation.
Once I was through reading, I said a prayer and suddenly, the rape stopped. I was outprocessed, and a taxi was waiting for me outside, to take me to Freehold, Iowa! Hallelujia! I have been a True Christian™ ever since.
That's how easy it is. If I can do it, anybody can do it. You believe; you repent.
Anybody who refuses the gift of forgiveness is obviously just in love with ass rape.
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