[Vayhr of the Warhost]

Re: Prayer request for Jenny

I've been meaning to talk with you about that.
Your room.
The Maid has been finding a mountain of used paper Handkerchiefs under and around your bed.
I hope this isn't what I think it might be?

If your getting those Asthmatic attacks again I'm taking you straight round to see a Doctor.

That was weeks ago, woman, and after we had that scare. You know... when you found out you reached "menopause". I was so worried about you that I got a little weepy eyed. I'm man enough to admit it. That or the DEMON was influencing my tear ducts.

[Vayhr of the Warhost]

Re: Prayer request for Jenny

If not, all you have to do is whistle. You do know how to whistle, don't you? Just put your lips together and... blow.

*whistles*

Sounds like a plan. So when would you like me to come over for a DEMON inspection? I have this ability to move my tongue at an extremely fast like a snake. Couple that with the fact that I have a longer tongue than most; Do you think I still have remnant DEMON after effects?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Prayer request for Jenny

Sister Talitha, is it wise to have a demon-possessed Dungeons and Dragons nerd staying at your home?

Perhaps Sister Justina should come and conduct an exorcism!

[Talitha]

Re: Prayer request for Jenny

Heck, I am staying at a Tali's house because of the flooding. So for all intents and purposes I live in Freehold, f*cker!!!

I've been meaning to talk with you about that.
Your room.
The Maid has been finding a mountain of used paper Handkerchiefs under and around your bed.
I hope this isn't what I think it might be?








If your getting those Asthmatic attacks again I'm taking you straight round to see a Doctor.

[Justina Thyme]

Re: Prayer request for Jenny

Could that be because she is not the one who needs Divine intercession?

Well? What reply have you for this question?

I see that you seem to be in your "calm/coherent" state now, DEMON. Perhaps the LORD has worked His wonders through someone else besides me? If so, GLORY!

If not, all you have to do is whistle. You do know how to whistle, don't you? Just put your lips together and... blow.

[Vayhr of the Warhost]

Re: Prayer request for Jenny

You have noticed, haven't you, Vayhr, that no one is in any hurry to begin praying for Sister Jenny?

And you call yourself a Christian. What has dear sweet Jenny ever done to you to warrant the malice and hatred you direct toward her? Luckily, thanks to the prayers of people like me who actually care about her, Jenny's issue subsided last week. Try and keep up with the times, Thyme.

[Justina Thyme]

Re: Prayer request for Jenny

A fine effort this thread is! You have noticed, haven't you, Voyeur, that no one is in any hurry to begin praying for Sister Jenny? Could that be because she is not the one who needs Divine intercession?

[Brother Cletus]

Re: Prayer request for Jenny

Has anyone investigated the possibility that Vahyr may be an agent of B. Hussein Osambo sent to infiltrate God's Favorite Church?

[StreetPreacherLew]

Re: Prayer request for Jenny

If you'd just become a Eunuch for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven, like Lord Jesus suggested, you wouldn't have a scrotum.

[Bob4God]

Re: Prayer request for Jenny

You curse like a sailor, dress up in leather gear, replace the word "GOD" with "Scrotum," and I'M the one whose mind is in the gutter. Fascinating.

If you are the kind of person that the True Christians of Freehold allow through their pristine gates to fellowship with them in their Godly church, and I'm the one who is in the wrong for not acting out in a manner akin to some slobbering retarded boarding the hell-train wearing leather bondage gear under his straight jacket, then either Landover has lowered its standards to the lowest possible level (which I am doubtful of,) or you are spewing blasphemous lies planted in your delirious mind by the devil himself. (bingo!)

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Prayer request for Jenny

Bob -

You are clearly demonstrating the sort of behavior any Christian church would relish. I do hope the True Christians™ here appreciate your patience and love of the Lord!

Venereal of the Warts (thanks to the wise Petal for that appropriate nickname for him), meanwhile, rants and whinges just like Andrew did the one time his mommy took away his Hershey bar. My confidence level in Venereal NOT being Andrew has dropped from 85% to about 67%.

I suppose it IS possible that Andrew learned how to sew, and also used the needles to lance his facial pustules. But who took care of the ones down his back?

[Vayhr of the Warhost]

Re: Prayer request for Jenny

Vayhr,

Are you calling the LORD A SCROTUM!?

I'm going to tell you this one more time - GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER!!!!!!

YOU bob for scrotums!!! WHY CAN'T YOU BOB FOR APPLES LIKE A NORMAL PERSON. DON'T YOU DARE COMPARE THE LORD TO THE SCROTUMS YOU TONGUE MASSAGE, FAGGOT!!!

If you expect to see people running around on the streets of gold calling each other faggot, c*nts, and using the f-word, I truly don't expect to see you there. In fact, you probably wouldn't even be able to set foot on Landover property, sir.

I attend Landover Baptist, you nitwit. I have a student pass that is good until August 2010. Heck, I am staying at a Tali's house because of the flooding. So for all intents and purposes I live in Freehold, f*cker!!!

In fact, I for some reason don't expect to see you on these forums much longer before you are banned. You just don't fit in with the other Godly people we fellowship with.

YOU don't fellowship with anyone. You are a faceless nobody over an internet connection. I actually attend Landover Baptist Church. I have actual had personal contact with members of the church. THIS IS MY CHURCH!!!

Ban me? BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

I will continue to pray for you and ask my friends to do likewise, and perhaps the LORD will calm you down and show you the truth.

Calm me down? If you aren't getting excited about Jesus then you are doing something wrong. As I showed with, using scripture, my behavior is modeled after Jesus Christ Himself. What are you trying to say, Bobby? That a person would have to be a psychotoc maniac to TRULY be a follower of the Bible?!? I take great offense to that.

I think you owe us all an apology.

Now, let us keep up our prayers for Sister Jenny. Bob may not care about her wellbeing, but that is no reason for the rest of us to be cold hearted bastards.

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: Prayer request for Jenny

Bob,

He is angry with himself because he drove his father away a few years ago.

His father wisely chose not to provide child support. Jesus however would be most pleased if his father would tithe the back child support to the Church.

Vayhr,

Are you calling the LORD A SCROTUM!?

I have shared the scripture with you, prayed for you, and pleaded with you to accept CHRIST and ask forgiveness. Clearly, you are too far gone to hear the words of your Christian brothers and sisters.

If you expect to see people running around on the streets of gold calling each other faggot, c*nts, and using the f-word, I truly don't expect to see you there. In fact, you probably wouldn't even be able to set foot on Landover property, sir. In fact, I for some reason don't expect to see you on these forums much longer before you are banned. You just don't fit in with the other Godly people we fellowship with.


I will continue to pray for you and ask my friends to do likewise, and perhaps the LORD will calm you down and show you the truth. Otherwise, He will give you up to your master satan, who will lead you straight down into the fiery bowels of hell itself, where you will be sodomized by 12 ft demons on the bone riddled shores of the lake of fire for all eternity, where you can scream out all the expletives and curses you want at the top of your lungs.

May you reap what you sew.

-Bob

[Justina Thyme]

Re: Prayer request for Jenny

Vayhr,

Are you calling the LORD A SCROTUM!?

I have shared the scripture with you, prayed for you, and pleaded with you to accept CHRIST and ask forgiveness. Clearly, you are too far gone to hear the words of your Christian brothers and sisters.

If you expect to see people running around on the streets of gold calling each other faggot, c*nts, and using the f-word, I truly don't expect to see you there. In fact, you probably wouldn't even be able to set foot on Landover property, sir. In fact, I for some reason don't expect to see you on these forums much longer before you are banned. You just don't fit in with the other Godly people we fellowship with.


I will continue to pray for you and ask my friends to do likewise, and perhaps the LORD will calm you down and show you the truth. Otherwise, He will give you up to your master satan, who will lead you straight down into the fiery bowels of hell itself, where you will be sodomized by 12 ft demons on the bone riddled shores of the lake of fire for all eternity, where you can scream out all the expletives and curses you want at the top of your lungs.

May you reap what you sew.

-Bob

You, sir, are a true servant of the LORD.

Precious Petal, your wisdom is timeless. All of us would do well to heed your innocent, inspired words.

[Bob4God]

Re: Prayer request for Jenny

Vayhr,

Are you calling the LORD A SCROTUM!?

I have shared the scripture with you, prayed for you, and pleaded with you to accept CHRIST and ask forgiveness. Clearly, you are too far gone to hear the words of your Christian brothers and sisters.

If you expect to see people running around on the streets of gold calling each other faggot, c*nts, and using the f-word, I truly don't expect to see you there. In fact, you probably wouldn't even be able to set foot on Landover property, sir. In fact, I for some reason don't expect to see you on these forums much longer before you are banned. You just don't fit in with the other Godly people we fellowship with.


I will continue to pray for you and ask my friends to do likewise, and perhaps the LORD will calm you down and show you the truth. Otherwise, He will give you up to your master satan, who will lead you straight down into the fiery bowels of hell itself, where you will be sodomized by 12 ft demons on the bone riddled shores of the lake of fire for all eternity, where you can scream out all the expletives and curses you want at the top of your lungs.

May you reap what you sew.

-Bob