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  • Rev. Dr. Davidson
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Jan 2007
    • 1439
    #16
    Re: Satanic stigmata

    I believe that hemorrhoids are a manifestation of deviant demoncrats. They are the culmination and pain associated with the a** raping that all God fearing True Christian Men will receive at their hands. Only satan could have given birth to these people.
    "If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
    (Leviticus 21:6-7)

      Comment

      • Brother Temperance
        Senior Usher
        True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
        A very nice young man
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 15621
        #17
        Re: Satanic stigmata

        Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
        And have you tried those donut cushions? Save your ass a lot of pain!
        Friend, I always find that the best way to avoid "ass-pain", as you so crudely put it, is to avoid dropping soap in front of negroes or similiarly sodomitical sinners. Have you ever tried accepting God's Love? I can guarantee it'll save your immortal soul a very great deal of pain indeed.
        O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



        God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

          Comment

          • Rachael Van Helsing
            HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
            • Sep 2006
            • 5131
            #18
            Re: Satanic stigmata

            Well seeing as I'm not male, and not in jail, I don't have to worry about the whole 'dropping the soap' thing.

            As for sodomy....it doesn't necessarily have to be painful.

            Besides, sodomy has nothing to do with roids. A great deal of the people who suffer it probably have never had anal sex in their life.
            sigpic
            Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

              Comment

              • lilith
                Night Hag
                • Sep 2006
                • 1232
                #19
                Re: Satanic stigmata

                Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                Well, at least that's one question answered. No wonder *certain people* are grumpy all the time. Constipated AND 'roids!

                Hmmm...should we speculate as to how he got them?

                On second thought......probably not.
                In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

                  Comment

                  • Rachael Van Helsing
                    HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 5131
                    #20
                    Re: Satanic stigmata

                    Well my guess is that on those days when the 'uplugging' occurs, *certain people* would be extra grumpy for a while, seeing as that would have to be painful with 'roids!
                    sigpic
                    Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                      Comment

                      • lilith
                        Night Hag
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 1232
                        #21
                        Re: Satanic stigmata

                        Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                        Well my guess is that on those days when the 'uplugging' occurs, *certain people* would be extra grumpy for a while, seeing as that would have to be painful with 'roids!
                        Um...yeah. Thanks ever so much for that particular mental image!old
                        In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

                          Comment

                          • Peacekeeper
                            • Jan 2007
                            • 115
                            #22
                            Re: Satanic stigmata

                            My idea of hell would be satin raping me REALLY hard in every single one of my holes on my body. That would suck. It would be pretty nasty.

                              Comment

                              • Pastor Ezekiel
                                Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                 
                                • Sep 2006
                                • 78556
                                #23
                                Re: Satanic stigmata

                                Originally posted by Peacekeeper View Post
                                My idea of hell would be satin raping me REALLY hard in every single one of my holes on my body. That would suck. It would be pretty nasty.
                                Listen retard: learn to spell! SATIN is a kind of cloth, often used to make sheets. It looks like THIS:

                                Your dark master SATAN is the embodiment of evil, and he looks like THIS:

                                GOT IT?
                                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                  Comment

                                  • Rachael Van Helsing
                                    HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
                                    • Sep 2006
                                    • 5131
                                    #24
                                    Re: Satanic stigmata

                                    Originally posted by lilith View Post
                                    Um...yeah. Thanks ever so much for that particular mental image!old
                                    Awww, come on, that's tame compared to some of the images that certain posters on this board manage to evoke!

                                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel
                                    Listen retard: learn to spell! SATIN is a kind of cloth, often used to make sheets. It looks like THIS:
                                    *snip* picture
                                    Your dark master SATAN is the embodiment of evil, and he looks like THIS:
                                    *snip* picture
                                    You never know, Zeke, he might have actually meant satin!
                                    Last edited by Rachael Van Helsing; 01-23-2007, 12:53 AM.
                                    sigpic
                                    Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                                      Comment

                                      • lilith
                                        Night Hag
                                        • Sep 2006
                                        • 1232
                                        #25
                                        Re: Satanic stigmata

                                        Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                                        Awww, come on, that's tame compared to some of the images that certain posters on this board manage to evoke!
                                        Sadly,that's quite true.

                                        You never know, Zeke, he might have actually meant satin!
                                        He might indeed - apparently some people just love dressing up in satin.
                                        And fishnet tights & corsets...& some (who should remain nameless) even have a liking for fluffy handcuffs. PINK fluffy handcuffs.
                                        In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

                                          Comment

                                          • OnYourKnees
                                            On Extended Furlough
                                            True Christian™
                                            • Nov 2006
                                            • 4729
                                            #26
                                            Re: Satanic stigmata

                                            Originally posted by lilith View Post
                                            He might indeed - apparently some people just love dressing up in satin.
                                            And fishnet tights & corsets...& some (who should remain nameless) even have a liking for fluffy handcuffs. PINK fluffy handcuffs.
                                            We don't need to hear about your Lesbyterian fantasies, Lilith!

                                            Next time you're tempted to write out the graphic details of your perverse, depraved sex life, please remember: A picture is worth a thousand words.Women should be seen and not heard.

                                              Comment

                                              • Pastor Ezekiel
                                                Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                                 
                                                • Sep 2006
                                                • 78556
                                                #27
                                                Re: Satanic stigmata

                                                Originally posted by lilith View Post
                                                He might indeed - apparently some people just love dressing up in satin.
                                                And fishnet tights & corsets...& some (who should remain nameless) even have a liking for fluffy handcuffs. PINK fluffy handcuffs.
                                                OKAY! I've HAD IT with you two! 10,000 infraction points to the next harlot who continues to spread these vile rumours about me and bears and pink satin handcuffs on these Godly boards!

                                                I mean it!
                                                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                                  Comment

                                                  • OnYourKnees
                                                    On Extended Furlough
                                                    True Christian™
                                                    • Nov 2006
                                                    • 4729
                                                    #28
                                                    Re: Satanic stigmata

                                                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                                    OKAY! I've HAD IT with you two! 10,000 infraction points to the next harlot who continues to spread these vile rumours about me and bears and pink satin handcuffs on these Godly boards!
                                                    She was referring to you?

                                                    Oh my. Well, isn't that . . . something.

                                                    Oh, I just remembered! I won't be able to make that little camping trip this weekend. I need to . . . um . . . help my neighbor eliminate a beehive.

                                                    Sorry, Pastor.

                                                      Comment

                                                      • Rachael Van Helsing
                                                        HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
                                                        • Sep 2006
                                                        • 5131
                                                        #29
                                                        Re: Satanic stigmata

                                                        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                                        OKAY! I've HAD IT with you two! 10,000 infraction points to the next harlot who continues to spread these vile rumours about me and bears and pink satin handcuffs on these Godly boards!

                                                        I mean it!
                                                        My dear Zeke, I would never dream of spreading rumors about you, in which case, would you be so kind as to explain the circumstances behind this post:
                                                        You can guess that this is a Pennycostal church! - The Landover Baptist Church Forum
                                                        http://landoverbaptist.net/showpost.php?p=14851&postcount=3
                                                        Catholics, Wiccans, Lutherans, Satanists, Mormons, and more!


                                                        And this one:
                                                        You can guess that this is a Pennycostal church! - The Landover Baptist Church Forum
                                                        http://landoverbaptist.net/showpost.php?p=15738&postcount=19
                                                        Catholics, Wiccans, Lutherans, Satanists, Mormons, and more!


                                                        Just so, you know, we have it right.
                                                        sigpic
                                                        Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

                                                          Comment

                                                          • OnYourKnees
                                                            On Extended Furlough
                                                            True Christian™
                                                            • Nov 2006
                                                            • 4729
                                                            #30
                                                            Re: Satanic stigmata

                                                            Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
                                                            http://landoverbaptist.net/showpost....51&postcount=3

                                                            And this one:
                                                            You can guess that this is a Pennycostal church! - The Landover Baptist Church Forum
                                                            http://landoverbaptist.net/showpost.php?p=15738&postcount=19
                                                            Catholics, Wiccans, Lutherans, Satanists, Mormons, and more!

                                                            You call that cross-dressing bear Mr. Wiggles? But . . . but . . . you said that was my special nam what you called your beagle hound!

                                                              Comment

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