I circumcised myself today!

[Q.Ponce Frottage]

Well I did it! I've been thinking about for a long time, and decided it was the right thing to do. Real men don't need that floppy useless piece of skin dangling off of their zizi. And thank you Landover for showing me how do it. I didn't want to pay out of pocket for something you can do yourself, and besides, only a wuss wouldn't do it themself.

https://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0601/circumcise.html

No more stinky fromage down below, I was getting too many complaints on my Amazon delivery route of a lingering pungency when I delivered packages. Of course, it means I no longer can ferment food in that pouchy part, but we have to make sacrifices in life. I'm starting to feel like a real American and a real man. Nothing says manly like cutting parts of your junk off. How the uncivilized world must envy American men and that manmade scar where the rest of the dirty nozzle normally continues.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Mr. Frottage, I see you got information from a legitimate Baptist site. Nevertheless, we must keep in mind circumcision is a Jew thing and we must be certain when it is practiced the person doing the surgery must be a credentialed Baptist.

[Q.Ponce Frottage]

Understood Mayor Hold, and I definitely don't want to be thought a Jew! I thought of that, and then I learned, the percentage of circumcision rate in the US is 60% and that's a good 10% over the equidistant minority and who wants to be left in that? So now I'm like a normal American, and what could be more Christian than that?

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Friend, if only you had read and memorized the entire Bible you would have learned that Jesus' circumcision washed away our sins and we need only undergo "circumcision made without hands", i.e. spiritual circumcision. Too late now, I guess.

Colossians 2:11–12
¹¹ In whom also ye are circumcised with the circumcision made without hands, in putting off the body of the sins of the flesh by the circumcision of Christ
¹² Buried with him in baptism, wherein also ye are risen with him through the faith of the operation of God, who hath raised him from the dead.

However, to give yourself the best chance of success in the afterlife, do both. THINK what will impress Jesus?

[Romeo Rovagnati]

I see you got information from a legitimate Baptist site.

I don't know if the site is legit. They might be yet another group attempting to steal yor name. You need better copyright laws.