[Kooterbreath]

Re: Manly Jokes

I don't know if this one has been said yet..

Why did the man build his wife a window over the sink?
To give her a point of view!

For this one, bad joke is an understatement.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Manly Jokes

Why do only 10% of women make it to Heaven?

Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

[Russell Holbeck]

Re: Manly Jokes

Q: Who can shave 25 times a day but still have a beard?

A: A homosexual.

I heard this at the barbershop the other day. I did not understand it but everyone laughed so I thought I would share it.

Thank you.

Rusty

[Prayer Warrior]

Re: Manly Jokes

The idea that women and "CEO" should be anywhere in the same sentence and that women should be PAID for the work they home!

This website 10 "jobs" women should be paid for. This website is so absurd, it has to be some sort of parody.

http://www.salary.com/what-s-a-mom-worth-in-2012/slide/3/

10. CEO: And women always on the job, right? Like when they're sitting on the couch watching Teletubbies with their 2 year old, that's them doing their job as "CEOs".

9. Laundry Machine Operator: Wow, she learned how to load her own clothes into a washer and press the on button! Give her $20,000 for that!

8. Psychologist: She could be a drunk drug addict, and have no degree, but we're supposed to believe she can do the job of a trained Psychologist and that she should get paid what a Psychologist gets paid?

7. Janitor: I live alone and I clean up after myself. Should I be getting paid to do that? Most of the messes are probably caused by the woman screwing up the meals and spilling food everywhere in the first place.

6. Van Driver: Holy cow! I can drive a car too! I suppose I should be getting paid to use up gas and drive my car around!


5. Computer Operator: I couldn't contain myself. A Computer operator? Really? Going online on Victoria's secret and updating your Facebook makes you a computer operator? Using your husband's credit card makes you a "Computer Operator"??? Women should be PAID to do this?! This survey also shows that they're "working" 6.5 hours a week.

4. Facilities Manager: What on Earth is a "Facilities Manager"?



Notice even the little child is holding the wrench in the right end, and the woman is holding the wrench in the wrong end? I can just imagine the man in the background saying "Yeah! Hold that wrench! Like that! Got it!"

they manage their respective “staffs” and delegate authority in the form of chores for the kids and “Honey Do” lists for their partners.

A Honey Do list??? Any man who uses a wife's "Honey Do" list for anything other than toilet paper should be admitted to the nearest mental facility. Everyone knows it is the man who repairs objects, and delegates tasks.

Remember husbands, next time you order your wife around, you should expect her to PAY you for the generous "Facilities Manager" service you are giving her.

This is just so absurd I can't even go on. Why don't women go out in the real world and apply for all these "jobs" that they're supposedly qualified for? Go up to a major company and say "Yeah, I'd like to apply for CEO or Psychologist. My qualifications? I took care of my 3 year old at home." See how far that gets them.

[John Kurn (Recalcitrant)]

Re: Manly Jokes

A man went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather and while eating the breakfast of eggs and bacon prepared for him, he noticed a film-like substance on his plate. So he says, "Grandfather, are these plates clean?"

His grandfather replies, "Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your meal."

That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed many little black specks around the edge of his plate, so again he asked, "Grandfather are you sure these plates are clean?"

Without looking up from his burger, the grandfather says, "I told you those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them, now don't ask me about it anymore."

Well, later that day, they were on their way out to get dinner. As he was leaving the house, Grandfather's dog who was lying on the floor started to growl and would not let him pass. "Grandfather, your dog won't let me out," mentioned the grandson.

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching, his grandfather shouted, "Coldwater, get your butt out of the way!"

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Manly Jokes

Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything under the table that you liked?" Jeff admitted, "Well, yes I did." She said "you can have it, but it will cost you $100." After a minute or two, Jeff indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Dave works Friday afternoons and Jeff doesn't, that Jeff should come to their house around 2:00 PM on Friday.

Friday came and Jeff went to her house at 2:00 PM. After paying her the $100, they went to the bedroom, had sex for a few hours and then Jeff left.
Dave came home about 6:00 PM and asked his wife, "Did Jeff come by this afternoon?" Totally shocked, Sandy replied, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes." Next Dave asked, "Did Jeff give you $100?" Sandy thought, 'Oh hell, he knows!' reluctantly she said, "Yes, he did give me $100." "Good," Dave says. "Jeff came by the office this morning and borrowed the $100 from me and said that he'd stop by our house on his way home and pay me back. It's so good to have a friend you can trust."

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Manly Jokes

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: “TWO PROSTITUTES — $50.00.”

A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they’d either have to remove the sign or go to jail.

Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: “JESUS SAVES.”

One of the girls asked the cop, “Why don’t you stop them?!”

“Well, that’s a little different,” the cop smiled. “Their sign pertains to religion.”

So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their sign down and drove off.

The following day found the same cop in the area when he noticed the two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. Figuring he had an easy bust, he began to catch up with them when he noticed the new sign which read:

“TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER — $50.00.”

[Nobar King]

Re: Manly Jokes

I once failed a math quiz. The question that tripped me up was: what comes after 69. Apparently mouthwash was the wrong answer.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Manly Jokes

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Manly Jokes

I heard this one from my barber.

A buck nigra takes a White girl home from a nightclub.

She says, "Show me if it's true what they say about black men".

So he stabs her & takes her purse.

[Young Zuse, the imbecile]

Re: Manly Jokes

I see you have still been spending your "time" here keeping up this "outstanding site," and in the name of a man who has already given you "fair warning" about what it is you are doing and a more than reasonable amount of time to stop... I don't know if you believe that this is a joke, or if your actions here are a result of an alterior motive that has gotten out of hand, but I am only going to say this one last time; if you are going to preach hate to people here, do so knowing that anybody who would like to find out where you live will be able to do so in the very near future, I will make sure of this... You speak of "hell" here to so many people, I can personally assure you that there will be one specifically designed for the actions you have taken and continue to take during your time here if you fail to start making the right choices...

[Didymus Much]

Re: Manly Jokes

I see you have still been spending your "time" here keeping up this "outstanding site," and in the name of a man who has already given you "fair warning" about what it is you are doing and a more than reasonable amount of time to stop... I don't know if you believe that this is a joke, or if your actions here are a result of an alterior motive that has gotten out of hand, but I am only going to say this one last time; if you are going to preach hate to people here, do so knowing that anybody who would like to find out where you live will be able to do so in the very near future, I will make sure of this... You speak of "hell" here to so many people, I can personally assure you that there will be one specifically designed for the actions you have taken and continue to take during your time here if you fail to start making the right choices...

Say "hi" to the FBI for me, when they knock on your door.

ps: it's "Zeus" and "ulterior".

[Young Zuse, the imbecile]

Re: Manly Jokes

Thanks for the correction, though my spelling should probably be the least of your concerns... Also the word "Zuse" comes from the name Azhalerazuse, so this spelling will work for me...

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Manly Jokes

Also the word "Zuse" comes from the name Azhalerazuse

Even your mother couldn't care less.

You need to stop masturbating behind your keyboard, get a bath, get a job, buy a Bible and become a Christian!

[Didymus Much]

Re: Manly Jokes

...Also the word "Zuse" comes from the name Azhalerazuse, so this spelling will work for me...

Ok, so instead of admitting to misspelling a name, you claim to have derived it from one you just made up. Whatever.

If you're done with your laughably futile threats and ITG act, how about going to the introduction forum? Please follow the easy instructions visible at the top of every page there.