[Viggo B. Kristoffersen]

Re: Manly Jokes

Q: How many men does it take to change a lightbulp?
A: Non - Our wifes just have to learn how to cook in the dark.

Q: Why did God provide women with slightly more braincells than horses?
A: So she doesn't drink of the bucket while she's washing the floor.

Q: What do you say if you find your wife lying on the floor, crying and in pain?
A: Nothing - It shouldn't be necesary to tell her twice - should it?

[JesperBechDane]

Re: Manly Jokes

Ouch lol..

Why are women shorter than men? So they can easily bend over. hehehe

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Manly Jokes

Ouch lol..

Why are women shorter than men? So they can easily bend over. hehehe

That doesn't even make sense.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Manly Jokes

Ouch lol..

Why are women shorter than men? So they can easily bend over. hehehe

What is that, some kind of eskimo joke?

[Nobar King]

Re: Manly Jokes

I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket.

So I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?'

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil necked moron. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!!

So I called him a son of a mutant pig. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first.

Then he started writing a third ticket!! This went on for about 20 minutes, the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner! LOL

I thought this one was pretty funny.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Manly Jokes

I went to the store the other day, I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket.

So I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?'

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil necked moron. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tires!!

So I called him a son of a mutant pig. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first.

Then he started writing a third ticket!! This went on for about 20 minutes, the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner! LOL

I thought this one was pretty funny.

But Officer Don doesn't have a pencil neck . . .

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Manly Jokes

A young girl went to the barber shop with her father and stood right next to him as he got his hair cut. Then she took out a Twinkie and began eating it.

The barber warned her, "You're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."

She replied nonchalantly, "I'm gonna get boobs, too."

[Levi Jones]

Re: Manly Jokes

What is the difference between a hooker and an onion?

I don't cry when I cut up a hooker.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Manly Jokes

What is the difference between a hooker and an onion?

I don't cry when I cut up a hooker.

That reminds me, Brother . . . Did you notice that you can't spell "slaughter" without "laughter"?

[Viggo B. Kristoffersen]

Re: Manly Jokes

Slut test!

Him: Are you a whore?
Her: No!
He put $ 10 on the table.
Him: Will you go to bed with me for $ 10
Her: No!
He put $ 100 on the table.
Him: What about now?
Her: No!
He then put $ 500 on the table.
Him: Now?
Her: No!
He puts $ 5000 on the table.
Him: What about now?

Her: Well..... Okay then.

He takes all the money again, except the $ 10

Her: Hey what you doing?
Him: Now that we have stated you are a whore, we can begin to negotiate the price.

Afterthought:
He then cuts her up like an onion, just without the crying.

[1onetheone]

Re: Manly Jokes

The bible speaks for itself and there can be no argument with the truth:

MATT 12 34
You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.

EPH 4 29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Manly Jokes

The bible speaks for itself and there can be no argument with the truth:

MATT 12 34
You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.

EPH 4 29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

This section is for men only!

[Seth Campbell]

Re: Manly Jokes

The bible speaks for itself and there can be no argument with the truth:

MATT 12 34
You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.

EPH 4 29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Was this supposed to be a joke?

[James Dewitt]

Re: Manly Jokes

When the surgeon came to see Bambi on the day after her operation, she asked him somewhat hesitantly just how long it would be before she could resume her sex life.

"Uh, I hadn't really thought about it" replied the stunned surgeon. "You're the first one ever to ask that after a tonsillectomy."

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Manly Jokes

Lisa gets her haircut while wearing a pair of headphones. The hairdresser asks her to take them off, but she protests that she'll die without them.

The hairdresser sighs, and starts cutting the hair around the headphones. Soon, Lisa falls asleep, and the hairdresser removes the headphones. A few minutes later, Lisa collapses, dead on the floor. Alarmed, the hairdresser puts the headphones to her ear and hears, "Breathe in. Breathe out."