Embarrasing.

[Sirenn]

Hello.

I'm a 17 year old boy, and I seek some help, to cleanse my soul of evil.

Recently, my "accessory" have begun getting hard a whole lot, and I don't know what to do about it. I have heard about masturbating, but thus it is a sin, I don't want to do it. Is there anything I can do to prevent myself from falling into a sin?

Sincerely,
Timmy.

[Nobar King]

Re: Embarrasing.

Turn off the internets, Timmy.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Embarrasing.

I'm a 17 year old boy, and I seek some help, to cleanse my soul of evil. Recently, my "accessory" have begun getting hard a whole lot, and I don't know what to do about it. I have heard about masturbating, but thus it is a sin, I don't want to do it. Is there anything I can do to prevent myself from falling into a sin?

The Bible is very clear on what you have to do about that. You have to rent a chainsaw and remove your hand! Mark 9:43 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched". To be on the safe side you might want to remove both hands.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Embarrasing.

Perhaps you should heed the advice of our Lord Jesus.

Matthew 5:30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

[Sirenn]

Re: Embarrasing.

So, what you're telling me to, is to harm myself, and thus hurt my beloved family?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Embarrasing.

So, what you're telling me to, is to harm myself, and thus hurt my beloved family?

How does obeying God hurt your family? Are you stupid?

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Embarrasing.

Did you not read the Scripture? Isn't it better to part with one part of your body instead of your whole body being damned to Hell for an eternity?

[Sirenn]

Re: Embarrasing.

Are you stupid?

If I remember correctly, you're supposed to treat others as you would like to be treated yourself.

How do YOU, stupid man, think that my family would react if I cut off both my hands?

[Wide-Open]

Re: Embarrasing.

How do YOU, stupid man, think that my family would react if I cut off both my hands?

No idea, but I bet "FAPPING" would become a lot harder eh.

[Talitha]

Re: Embarrasing.

So, what you're telling me to, is to harm myself, and thus hurt my beloved family?

Now don't be silly.
It would be God that's telling you, not us.
We only follow the Manual. (Bible, King James Version).

[Sirenn]

Re: Embarrasing.

If I had heard God's word tell me to cut off my hands, I'm sure he would've told me when I prayed every night for several years, and finally became in doubt.

[Talitha]

Re: Embarrasing.

If I had heard God's word tell me to cut off my hands, I'm sure he would've told me when I prayed every night for several years, and finally became in doubt.

You have already been given Chapter and Verse from The Bible.
You want God to speak to you too?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Embarrasing.

You have already been given Chapter and Verse from The Bible.
You want God to speak to you too?

Wow, Sister, this one SHOULD be embarassed! The Bible isn't good enough!

I'm sure Timmy will enjoy Hell.

[Ezekiel 25:17]

Re: Embarrasing.

Wow, Sister, this one SHOULD be embarassed! The Bible isn't good enough!

I'm sure Timmy will enjoy Hell.

I Just wanted to point out how much of an ANNOYANCE it is that some people believe it is their God given RIGHT to have proof bestowed upon them in the name of God. When people tell me God isn't real because they prayed that an armadillo that they found will start talking English is a reason to believe in SATANISM because the armadillo NEVER learns to speak english REALLY bothers me....God works in mysterious ways sure, but He does NOT work in your silly fairy tale life to APPEASE YOU!.....you LIVE to APPEASE him and NOT the other way around....I realise the majority of the forum visitors acknowledge this but the heavans that don't acknowledge this need to be tied up and FORCED to read the Good News until they DO believe it....any other method of instilling good Christian Teachings into a person is NOT effective....I may have said this before but i truely feel BLESSED that I have a group of True Christians to back me up on this one....


God Bless

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Embarrasing.

God works in mysterious ways sure, but He does NOT work in your silly fairy tale life to APPEASE YOU!

Absolutely right, friend!

If you want a miracle, it should be one worthy of the Lord.

Why not join my congregation in praying that PZ Myers, the Internet Atheist, finds Jesus? Now, THAT would be a miracle!