My wife:

[Jacob.]

Refused to make me a sandwich. What do I do brothers?

[Sister Kitty]

Re: My wife:

I understand this is the men only area, but I am not amused.

The answer is simple. Grow a pair.

[Jacob.]

Re: My wife:

Do you have a computer in your kitchen?

[Sister Kitty]

Re: My wife:

Do you have a computer in your kitchen?

It is after midnight. I am not cooking now.

Do you have a brain in your head?

Sorry, stupid question. If you have to run to the internet and whine that you don't know how to tell your wife to make a sandwich you obviously don't.

Pretend men do not amuse me.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: My wife:

It is after midnight. I am not cooking now.

Do you have a brain in your head?

Sorry, stupid question. If you have to run to the internet and whine that you don't know how to tell your wife to make a sandwich you obviously don't.

Pretend men do not amuse me.

So true Sister,

A real man does not go whining to the Internet because his wife won't make him a sandwich. I know I couldn't be bothered to make a sandwich for a whiny Internet troll.

Probably why none of the Pastors have bothered to answer.

[GOD=life]

Re: My wife:

Alas, Jacob, the women in this thread spreak the truth. If you roll the dice many times, sooner or later a good number will turn up.

If your wife rebels against you, it's because she doesn't respect you and doesn't see you as a man. In turn, you may inadvertently be a bad role model to your children who may be every so slightly tempted into the homersexual lifestyle.

Have you been doing activities lately that are possibly effeminate?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: My wife:

Refused to make me a sandwich. What do I do brothers?

Stop whining like a sissy and start becoming a man. Take your Bible and give her a firm beating with it. Then command her to make you a sandwich. I fail to see why anyone would want to eat a sandwich by the way.

[D.L. Moody]

Re: My wife:

What sort of sandwich was it, anyway? I hope the filling consisted of meat from an animal you killed with your own hands

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: My wife:

After you have punished her in whatever way is legal in your area, preach this scripture to her:

1st Timothy 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2:10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
1st Timothy 2:11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
1st Timothy 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
1st Timothy 2:13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
1st Timothy 2:14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
1st Timothy 2:15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Ephesians 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord

Titus 2:3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
Titus 2:4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
Titus 2:5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

1st Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
1st Peter 3:2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
1st Peter 3:3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
1st Peter 3:4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

[Mike Hawk]

Re: My wife:

Do you have any sort of torture equipment in your house? Even if it isnt convential torturing such as water boarding or cutting her pinky off, If you have something along the lines of a wood chipper or a lawn mower, chain her under it, then turn it on. In moments she will become a new woman and be more than glad to get you a sandwich of your choice and a beer of your preference whenever you feel fit.

[James Dewitt]

Re: My wife:

Refused to make me a sandwich. What do I do brothers?

Son my wife did the once, the result was a black eye. The
other black eye was a result of her questioning why she received the first one! I do hate to say things twice.

[Jedediah]

Re: My wife:

I normally allow Rebekah 12 weeks out of the year where she is not obligated to be in the process of producing another Soldier of Christ. Things are generally harmonious between us, but if she slights me I generally shave off between 1 and 3 weeks from her non-pregnant time.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: My wife:

Do you have any sort of torture equipment in your house? Even if it isnt convential torturing such as water boarding or cutting her pinky off, If you have something along the lines of a wood chipper or a lawn mower, chain her under it, then turn it on. In moments she will become a new woman and be more than glad to get you a sandwich of your choice and a beer of your preference whenever you feel fit.

Are you completely crazy? No one should treat their wife that way. I hope someone throws you in a wood chipper...

[BelieverInGod]

Re: My wife:

Are you completely crazy? No one should treat their wife that way. I hope someone throws you in a wood chipper...

I'm trying to figure out how a woman who was put through a wood chipper is going to do anything, let alone make a sandwich.

[humble servant]

Re: My wife:

Are you completely crazy? No one should treat their wife that way. I hope someone throws you in a wood chipper...

That's a little extreme brother. You just use the machines to influence her, you don't actually use them on her. It's all about control.