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I still can't understand what's wrong with a woman's brain. But I thought we men might be able to compare notes and figure out if women are good for anything besides you know what.
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119She can check the oil in her car?0%4She can balance the checkbook?0%1She can be rational during an emergency?0%13She can find her #@$&! car keys.0%2All she's good for is you know what!0%41She knows how to follow rules!0%18She stays out of Promise Enforcers, where she isn't allowed to post!!!0%9She can pee sitting down and scarcely ever misses the bowl.0%14Spend three-quarters of her waking life in the bathroom doing her hair.0%17Investment Portfolio = Canned Goods, Automatic Weapons and a KJV1611 Bible! -
Re: Women's Brains? - POLL
You mean cooking?Originally posted by Elmer ChristiansonEmeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Re: Women's Brains? - POLL
OK, so I left that off, but you don't want to give them too much ammo. So be careful about moaning and groaning over her pot roast.Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View PostInvestment Portfolio = Canned Goods, Automatic Weapons and a KJV1611 Bible!Comment
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Re: Women's Brains? - POLL
I chose the emergency one because it seems to be the only nice one there.
Horrid men.sigpic
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!Comment
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Re: Women's Brains? - POLL
I'd like to know how many times a day your husband gives you a beating, because you certainly deserve them.Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View PostI chose the emergency one because it seems to be the only nice one there.
Horrid men.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: Women's Brains? - POLL
Oh, is that what the "good for you know what" option means? I'll vote for that then.Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
I thought it might be code for gardening, but I didn't think the young lady Elmer posted looked much like a gardener, what with those lovely nails.True Christians are Perfect!
Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.
Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.
For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.Comment
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Re: Women's Brains? - POLL
Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View PostWell, if you're talking about a certain type of beating
Men who beat their wives are barbaric is what I mean!
Umm..they mean the act that leads to baby making Mrs Rogers.Oh, is that what the "good for you know what" option means? I'll vote for that then.
I thought it might be code for gardening, but I didn't think the young lady Elmer posted looked much like a gardener, what with those lovely nails.
Which might explain Pastor Al's answer.
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Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!Comment
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Re: Women's Brains? - POLL
Do you mean getting married in church to the man your fatherOriginally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Postsoldselected for you and then PRAYING for GOD to send you children?Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Re: Women's Brains? - POLL
No, I'm talking about what the previous Mrs Pistle would have been trying to avoid every time she told you she had a headache.Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
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Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!Comment
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Re: Women's Brains? - POLL
I thought it meant cleaning.Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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Re: Women's Brains? - POLL
Dear Departed Mrs. Pistle NEVER had a headache in the thirty years we were married. Even that one time we had sex she never complained, but lay there stoically like a good Baptist woman for the entire two or three minutes!!Originally posted by Rachael Van Helsing View PostNo, I'm talking about what the previous Mrs Pistle would have been trying to avoid every time she told you she had a headache.Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Re: Women's Brains? - POLL
Women are equally intelligent but the society sometimes suppresses them. Many famous scientists and inventors were women.
But, of course, my favourite women's quality is the one Elmer meant.
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Re: Women's Brains? - POLL
... And it's not cooking...
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Re: Women's Brains? - POLL
Are you a fag or something? You couldn't be more wrong. There is not one important invention or accomplishment that women can claim in the entire history of mankind. The Holy Bible is quite clear on the status of females and what they are good for.Originally posted by robert12345 View PostWomen are equally intelligent but the society sometimes suppresses them. Many famous scientists and inventors were women.
But, of course, my favourite women's quality is the one Elmer meant.
The only major event they can lay claim to is ruining it for all mankind by doing the one thing that God told them NOT to do. Typical female.Genesis 3:16
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
1 Corinthians 11:3
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Ephesians 5:22-24
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: Women's Brains? - POLL
I always thought you were something of a godly stud on the side Pastor.Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
My own (Now dear departed) Husband certainly had nowhere near the stamina that God has given you. In fact, it would take practically all night to get even a few seconds of performance.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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