Celebrating Manhood

[Pastor Ezekiel]

It is good to be a man because:

- Your phone calls usually last for 30 seconds;

- You only need one small suitcase for a week of vacation;

- You can open all bottles yourself;

- Your good friends do not care about you putting on weight;

- The shape of your buttocks does not play any role in your professional career;

- All of your orgasms are real;

- You don’t have to carry a whole bag of different things that you need every day;

- Your underwear costs ten dollars and it is a three-pack;

- You need to shave only your face;

- None of your colleagues at work can make you cry;

- You don’t have to sleep every night next to a hairy ass;

- If you are a 35-year-old bachelor, no one will pay any attention to it;

- Everything that you have on your face and body is absolutely natural, including the color;

- Five pairs of shoes are more than just enough;

- You can take your shirt off if it is hot;

- You don’t know how periods work and what on Earth they are;

- People never stare at your chest when they talk to you;

- You do not have to memorize the dates of everyone’s weddings and birthdays;

- If another man appears at a party dressed exactly like you are, he may become your best friend.

Do you brothers have any more to add?

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Celebrating Manhood

It is good to be a man because:

- Your phone calls usually last for 30 seconds;

- You only need one small suitcase for a week of vacation;

- You can open all bottles yourself;

- Your good friends do not care about you putting on weight;

- The shape of your buttocks does not play any role in your professional career;

- All of your orgasms are real;

- You don’t have to carry a whole bag of different things that you need every day;

- Your underwear costs ten dollars and it is a three-pack;

- You need to shave only your face;

- None of your colleagues at work can make you cry;

- You don’t have to sleep every night next to a hairy ass;

- If you are a 35-year-old bachelor, no one will pay any attention to it;

- Everything that you have on your face and body is absolutely natural, including the color;

- Five pairs of shoes are more than just enough;

- You can take your shirt off if it is hot;

- You don’t know how periods work and what on Earth they are;

- People never stare at your chest when they talk to you;

- You do not have to memorize the dates of everyone’s weddings and birthdays;

- If another man appears at a party dressed exactly like you are, he may become your best friend.

Do you brothers have any more to add?

• Your meal selection is based on taste, not resulting damage
• no one notices if you've put on weight.
• if they do no one cares.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Celebrating Manhood

The best is; if you are a man you are sure you have a soul.

[Deaner]

Re: Celebrating Manhood

I'm glad that as a man I'm not responsible for the entire human race living in pain and suffering because of our expulsion from the Garden of Eden because of a woman. Six thousand years of people living in misery and depression must be an awful weight on your conscience. No wonder women always have that vacant, squirrley look on their face.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Celebrating Manhood

• Man is the image and glory of God (I Cor. 11:7), but woman is like a second-generation fax.
• Our wives have to treat us as though we were God (Eph. 5:22).
• We don't have to sleep out in the garden shed for at least a week out of every month because we don't have periods (Lev. 15:19).

[Larry Lee]

Re: Celebrating Manhood

God instructs True Christian™ women to enjoy performing oral copulation. (Thank you, God!)

Song of Solomon 4:

[3] I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
[4] He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: Celebrating Manhood

- Even the most glaring shortcomings and inadequacies can be eliminated by simply procuring the proper gun or automobile.
- Urination while standing.
- Sexual conquests are the source of open congratulation instead of whispers and giggles.

[lord warrior]

Re: Celebrating Manhood

Never have to worry how my hair looks.

Weather I'm in fashion.

I am the lord and master of my household.

I can be a pastor at my church.

I am not, or ever have been, turned on by a hairy backed male=no homer here.

I am not afflected by a monthly bloody curse.

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: Celebrating Manhood

I sure wish I was a man!

[Elmer Christianson]

Re: Celebrating Manhood

When a man is pissed off at someone, he either punches them or forgets about it . . . this is much more productive than secretly hating someone for ten years as the women do.

I've never been compelled to write down secret codes about what my wedding tackle is doing on the side of refrigerator.

And changing out a bad starter or alternator makes so much more sense that standing around crying (unless this is some secret way to get pounded).

[Poetic Peter]

Re: Celebrating Manhood

It is good to be a man because:

- Your phone calls usually last for 30 seconds;

- You only need one small suitcase for a week of vacation;

- You can open all bottles yourself;

- Your good friends do not care about you putting on weight;

- The shape of your buttocks does not play any role in your professional career;

- All of your orgasms are real;

- You don’t have to carry a whole bag of different things that you need every day;

- Your underwear costs ten dollars and it is a three-pack;

- You need to shave only your face;

- None of your colleagues at work can make you cry;

- You don’t have to sleep every night next to a hairy ass;

- If you are a 35-year-old bachelor, no one will pay any attention to it;

- Everything that you have on your face and body is absolutely natural, including the color;

- Five pairs of shoes are more than just enough;

- You can take your shirt off if it is hot;

- You don’t know how periods work and what on Earth they are;

- People never stare at your chest when they talk to you;

- You do not have to memorize the dates of everyone’s weddings and birthdays;

- If another man appears at a party dressed exactly like you are, he may become your best friend.

Do you brothers have any more to add?

A few more of the thousand things
that make a man next to God.


-He does no floors, windows or ironing (or washing);

-"honey dew" has no question mark;

-lots of drive. No drivel.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Celebrating Manhood

Tools, tools, tools, tools……

Building Arks, dropping the tranny and changing the throw-out bearing, putting up ladder rack in the basement and running RG-6 from the Sat Dish and Cat-5 to the den, demoing the wainscoting and putting up sheet rock, hammer drill out the wimpy pink bathroom tile, gunnite the back yard pool, change the leaky check valve on the water heater, build forms for the concrete pour for the containment vessel on the home nuclear reactor. All in a days work for men, manhood and manliness. Praise Jesus!

[Seeker]

Re: Celebrating Manhood

How do you guys hide all those calluses?

Jesus see's you!!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Celebrating Manhood -MEN ONLY!

How do you guys hide all those calluses?

Jesus see's you!!

Do you see the sign that says MEN ONLY?!?!?!? GET OUT!

[Seeker]

Re: Celebrating Manhood

Your good friends do not care about you putting on weight;

Yeah because they do not have to sleep with ya. Otherwise.....homers come easy..............true women not so much..

All of your orgasms are real;

And premature.

- You do not have to memorize the dates of everyone’s weddings and birthdays;

Unless you want you're ass kicked...

- You can take your shirt off if it is hot;

Or put it back on if you even think of getting some nookie that night...

Oh heck I could go on and on...Whoopsie... Sorry for wandering in the wrong forum. It must be the unconfessed sin in me...Forgive and forget. That would be WWJD