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  • #31
    Re: Pie conspiracy

    Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
    I dont think so she is still quite trim. When my first wife( May God Take pity on her cold slut heart, where ever she is) was with child she was the size of a house.

    I really don't understand how she does it, last night she ate a 2lb Porterhouse steak, baked tater, salad, and a big bowl of strawberries.
    Later while viewing the 700 club, she went through a 2lb box of chocolate.
    I think she is just getting lazy and wont bake pies and such. Lamar cooked dinner last night. Its kinda funny when she tires to bake anything she gets ill, shove a hunk of beef infont of her and watch out for the sparks comming off the knife and fork.
    Well, that's mighty odd.

    Has she tried one of Helen's meat pies? That might be ideal for her. Oh, and Helen makes wonderful muffins as well. Believe me, you haven't lived until you've chowed down on Helen's meat-filled muffins. They're so moist and delicious, with big chunks of beef deep inside!
    Bible boring? Nonsense!
    Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
    You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

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    • #32
      Re: Pie conspiracy

      Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
      Well, that's mighty odd.

      Has she tried one of Helen's meat pies? That might be ideal for her. Oh, and Helen makes wonderful muffins as well. Believe me, you haven't lived until you've chowed down on Helen's meat-filled muffins. They're so moist and delicious, with big chunks of beef deep inside!
      Rev. Its not that she cant eat, she just cant cook anymore. I did not want to ask Helen to do it, do you think she will? Its been a while I am in the mood for a different pie.
      Phebe and Helen are out shopping this after noon. Phebe left a note that her shoes had shrunk and needed wider ones. Must be cheap shoes. I think I will send her into Chicago for some new ones after whe get back from Sister Charlies wedding.

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      • #33
        Re: Pie conspiracy

        Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
        Mistress Cookie, I feel so used, I found boxes of frozen phyllo dough in the freezer. What is next canned cherry pie filling from a store, canned apple filing from a store. Phebe is not herself lately, its as if she has lost her love of baking.
        Well, you know how I hate to get involved in other people's business, but I would also point out that phyllo dough is of Greek origin.

        I am not saying anyone would have to go to an actual foreign food store to get some, but nevertheless, it cannot be denied that that product is also used for making Baklava and other Greecian "delicacies".

        Make of this what you will....as I said, I've always been averse to becoming embroiled in private matters, so I draw no conclussions, myself.

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        • #34
          Re: Pie conspiracy

          Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
          It sounds to me like your wife could be a major player in this whole lesbian blood orgy conspiracy. She could even be the kingpin.
          My wife? I never would have thought. I'm going to demand a explanation I will go to extreme measures to get the information. After she admits the truth to me I will have her apologize to the family. I WILL take proper disciplinary action after wards.

          I feel so used, after being such a wonderful husband to her, she dare try to pull a stunt like this behind my back.

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          • #35
            Re: Pie conspiracy

            Originally posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
            Well, you know how I hate to get involved in other people's business, but I would also point out that phyllo dough is of Greek origin.

            I am not saying anyone would have to go to an actual foreign food store to get some, but nevertheless, it cannot be denied that that product is also used for making Baklava and other Greecian "delicacies".

            Make of this what you will....as I said, I've always been averse to becoming embroiled in private matters, so I draw no conclussions, myself.
            Are you suggesting that the Ladies of Landover are getting involved in "Greek explorations"?!
            Bible boring? Nonsense!
            Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
            You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

            Comment


            • #36
              Re: Pie conspiracy

              Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
              Are you suggesting that the Ladies of Landover are getting involved in "Greek explorations"?!
              This might go further and deeper than we ever would have first thought! Perhaps all of our wives are doing all kinds of things that we never noticed. Maybe they have been doing this whole thing for a long time and we just now noticed!

              This madness must come to an end.

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              • #37
                Re: Pie conspiracy

                Originally posted by David Micheal View Post
                This might go further and deeper than we ever would have first thought! Perhaps all of our wives are doing all kinds of things that we never noticed. Maybe they have been doing this whole thing for a long time and we just now noticed!

                This madness must come to an end.
                My ex-wife Ethel was a very naughty woman. She was always doing things like burning dinner, sassing me, and running away from home. Then one day I brought her home from a porn shoot where I caught her engaged in lesbian cunnilingus. The next morning I woke up and found her stoned to death in the yard. That's when I decided to marry Cindy Lou. She is much more... willing than Ethel ever was.
                The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

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                • #38
                  Re: Pie conspiracy

                  Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
                  My ex-wife Ethel was a very naughty woman. She was always doing things like burning dinner, sassing me, and running away from home. Then one day I brought her home from a porn shoot where I caught her engaged in lesbian cunnilingus. The next morning I woke up and found her stoned to death in the yard. That's when I decided to marry Cindy Lou. She is much more... willing than Ethel ever was.
                  I must keep a better eye on my wife. We can't let her run around doing what ever she wants and ruining the household, and potentially other households.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Re: Pie conspiracy

                    Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
                    Mistress Cookie, I feel so used, I found boxes of frozen phyllo dough in the freezer. What is next canned cherry pie filling from a store, canned apple filing from a store. Phebe is not herself lately, its as if she has lost her love of baking. Today I asked her to make a Carmel nut coffee cake for my breakfast in the morning. She turned a bit green and ran off to the ladies room. Do I make her sick?

                    Brother James, Could her sickness mean you have a Soldier for Christ on the way? That could explain the running to the restroom, I think

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Re: Pie conspiracy

                      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                      I get it flown in from Intercourse, Pennsylvania. They grow the best rhubarb in the world.
                      Wrong
                      The BEST rhubarb in the world is grown in the Rhubarb Triangle in Yorkshire ENGLAND.
                      Posted via Pasta

                      True Pastafarian™

                      May my Sauce be with you!
                      Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
                      Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
                      The Loose Canon - HTML version
                      Loose Canon Fan Page
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                      • #41
                        Re: Pie conspiracy

                        Originally posted by Jo Freddie View Post
                        Wrong
                        The BEST rhubarb in the world is grown in the Rhubarb Triangle in Yorkshire ENGLAND.
                        Listen, pervert; We don't eat foreign food. It hottens up the blood.
                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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                        • #42
                          Re: Pie conspiracy

                          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                          Listen, pervert; We don't eat foreign food. It hottens up the blood.
                          Ok if you are happy to eat inferior Rhubarb so be it, just you are never going to have the BEST with that attitude.
                          Posted via Pasta

                          True Pastafarian™

                          May my Sauce be with you!
                          Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
                          Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
                          The Loose Canon - HTML version
                          Loose Canon Fan Page
                          North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
                          I have been to The Volcano!

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Re: Pie conspiracy

                            Fellas, this morning Phebe asked me to go to the market with her, she picked up fresh blue berries. When we got home she got out the flower and butter and made fresh pie crust. She made a wonderful blueberry pie for me, Brothers it was the best pie I have EVER eaten. She must have had a bug of some sort, her pie was heaven sent. Phebe is back to normal, except for her appetite, two racks of baby back ribs. I have to tell ya I was feared for my fingers, If she mistook one for a rib, it would not be pretty.
                            I am thinking that the bug she had might have been the same you all are experiencing.

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                            • #44
                              Re: Pie conspiracy

                              Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
                              Fellas, this morning Phebe asked me to go to the market with her, she picked up fresh blue berries. When we got home she got out the flower and butter and made fresh pie crust. She made a wonderful blueberry pie for me, Brothers it was the best pie I have EVER eaten. She must have had a bug of some sort, her pie was heaven sent. Phebe is back to normal, except for her appetite, two racks of baby back ribs. I have to tell ya I was feared for my fingers, If she mistook one for a rib, it would not be pretty.
                              I am thinking that the bug she had might have been the same you all are experiencing.
                              What a relief! I was about to go to my wife and confront her about something that is not true. Thank JESUS that I looked at this forum before I did.

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Re: Pie conspiracy

                                Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
                                Phebe is back to normal, except for her appetite, two racks of baby back ribs.
                                Brother, did you make sure -- absolutely sure -- that those were baby PIG ribs?
                                Bible boring? Nonsense!
                                Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                                You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                                Comment

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