[James Dewitt]

Re: Helpful Household Hints for True Christian Men

James, I'm a bit miffed. I came up to the main house last night after my shower, and the whole place was dark. Your Man Cave door was stuck. I knocked and knocked, but you didn't answer.

I forced the door open; turns out it was locked. Your Man Cave was dark and cold. Turning on the lights, I was shocked by the sight!

The big-screen TV had an axe buried in it, and the glasses were all smashed. The pool table was on its side, and the Italian leather chairs and barstools slashed. Even the glass shelves behind the bar and your liquor bottles were broken! The sticky residue of evaporated liquor coated the broken glass; it must have had days to dry. But you said you were just there having a beer . . .

What's this all about? Were you playing a little post-Halloween prank on me?

Sorry you couldn't join everybody at the post-election festivities last night. You missed a great time! Hope your little giggle at my expense was worth it.

I am not sure what happened. I got home and found my cave in terrible shape. Like I said no one is home but me. I cant find Lamar my nigra, my car collection and I am missing my private collection of 75 year old scotch. I have a new maid coming in to day to clean up the mess. New chairs and other furnishings will be here Friday. Oh well, I can always rebuild the damage. Here is my new maids photo, I hope she can wash dishes

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Helpful Household Hints for True Christian Men

I am not sure what happened. I got home and found my cave in terrible shape. Like I said no one is home but me. I cant find Lamar my nigra, my car collection and I am missing my private collection of 75 year old scotch. I have a new maid coming in to day to clean up the mess. New chairs and other furnishings will be here Friday. Oh well, I can always rebuild the damage. Here is my new maids photo, I hope she can wash dishes

Maybe the house was broken into.

Where's Phebe, and Widow Helen? And where were YOU last night? You said you were in your Man Cave, having a beer, which obviously wasn't true . . .

[James Dewitt]

Re: Helpful Household Hints for True Christian Men

Maybe the house was broken into.

Where's Phebe, and Widow Helen? And where were YOU last night? You said you were in your Man Cave, having a beer, which obviously wasn't true . . .

Beats me where they are, I wonder if Lamar is with them.
I left right after we chatted got a phone call.
I stayed at a friends home last night. Mistress Cookie makes a great breakfast.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Helpful Household Hints for True Christian Men

Beats me where they are, I wonder if Lamar is with them.
I left right after we chatted got a phone call.
I stayed at a friends home last night. Mistress Cookie makes a great breakfast.

That's what I've heard, though I understand she's a little heavy on the saccharine.

Maybe an admin could split these posts off into their own thread, since they're not really about helpful household hints for True Christian(tm) menfolk.

[Justin Z]

Re: Helpful Household Hints for True Christian Men

Menstrual shack? Genius! I will need to build one. Anyone have any blue prints?

Brothers, I find it is not good to have a fork in the microwave or metal elements like that.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Helpful Household Hints for True Christian Men

Little-known fact: Apparently pets aren't machine-washable, even if they're really dirty. Who knew?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Helpful Household Hints for True Christian Men

Little-known fact: Apparently pets aren't machine-washable, even if they're really dirty. Who knew?

Brother, please tell me it was a cat . . .

[LordHaveMercy]

Re: Helpful Household Hints for True Christian Men

Little-known fact: Apparently pets aren't machine-washable, even if they're really dirty. Who knew?

You probably tried the wrong machine my Friend. Was it the dishwasher, or the clothes washer? I would obtain a new pet and try the other machine.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Helpful Household Hints for True Christian Men

You probably tried the wrong machine my Friend. Was it the dishwasher, or the clothes washer? I would obtain a new pet and try the other machine.

Well, avoid the microwave. I nearly lost my wife when I did my best to wash and dry the filthy little kitten Muriel brought home.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Helpful Household Hints for True Christian Men

Well, avoid the microwave. I nearly lost my wife when I did my best to wash and dry the filthy little kitten Muriel brought home.

At least it was only a cat.

Do you know what a dog would do to your microwave?

[Higgins]

Re: Helpful Household Hints for True Christian Men

At least once a week check your humidor to see if it needs more water so your fine cigars don't become dry.

Always have at least one bottle of single malt Scotch on hand.

Duct Tape will not fix everything.

No amount of Febreeze will cover up the smell of a dead deer in an apartment building.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Helpful Household Hints for True Christian Men

At least once a week check your humidor to see if it needs more water so your fine cigars don't become dry.

Always have at least one bottle of single malt Scotch on hand.

Duct Tape will not fix everything.

No amount of Febreeze will cover up the smell of a dead deer in an apartment building.

How true it is, if duct tape can not fix it, throw it away its broke. Can some one tell me why you have to rinse your dishes before you put them into a dishwasher? And one more thing what the hell is dry cleaning, that's is just stupid. Do you take a shower without water?

[Foul Nazi Pig]

Re: Helpful Household Hints for True Christian Men

Hire a maid If Jesus wanted me to wash dishes I would have been born a female.

Spoken like a lazy man.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Helpful Household Hints for True Christian Men

Spoken like a lazy man.

Listen Nazi pig, Hilter lost that war in part because he refused to put women to work in factories.

My grandfather died in the holocaust, you arse hat. If only he wouldn't have fallen from that guard tower.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Helpful Household Hints for True Christian Men

Spoken like a lazy man.

In other words, you can't actually disprove what he said, so you resort to ridicule. Nice.