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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556
    #1

    We Have a Lezbean in Our Midst!

    Brothers, it gives me no pleasure to tell you that we have a lezbean amongst us, and a race-traitor lezbean at that! I think the only thing to do is get her to post her detailed confessions in this section of the forum, so as not to upset or give wrong ideas to our women.

    Princess! Front and center!
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
    Tags: None
    • Zechariah Smyth
      Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
      True Christian™
      • Feb 2011
      • 15251
      #2
      Re: We Have a Lezbean in Our Midst!

      YUCK.



      Is there anything more repulsive than two naked women kissing and writhing and moaning together? Sick, sick, SICK.

      YiC,

      Zech
      Posted via Mobile Device
      sigpic

        Comment

        • Wide-Open
          Director of European Evangelical Outreach
          A Shining Example of Christ's Love
          Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
          True Christian™
          • Nov 2007
          • 18449
          #3
          Re: We Have a Lezbean in Our Midst!

          OMG!

          Pastor, did you try witnessing to her, like you often do?

          How did this happen?
          Psalm 81:10:
          I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
          open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

            Comment

            • Professor Bessemer
              Professor of Creation Science at Landover University
              Certified Ex-Gay Program Graduate
              Darwin's Worst Nightmare
              True Christian™
              • May 2009
              • 2952
              #4
              Re: We Have a Lezbean in Our Midst!

              Please tell this disgusting sapphic relationship was with some sort of Asian or Latina seductress. I do not believe that I could stomach the thought of the dear sweet Princess debauching herself with a negress.
              Professor of Creation Science and Flood Geology at Landover Baptist University


              sigpic

              Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

              Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

                Comment

                • Rev. M. Rodimer
                  Honorary True Christian™
                  Forum Member
                  • May 2008
                  • 13996
                  #5
                  Re: We Have a Lezbean in Our Midst!

                  She wasn't trying to pick up Professor Tyesha X (or however she spells it), was she?

                  Bible boring? Nonsense!
                  Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                  You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                    Comment

                    • Wide-Open
                      Director of European Evangelical Outreach
                      A Shining Example of Christ's Love
                      Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
                      True Christian™
                      • Nov 2007
                      • 18449
                      #6
                      Re: We Have a Lezbean in Our Midst!

                      Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                      She wasn't trying to pick up Professor Tyesha X (or however she spells it), was she?

                      Ah yes, that feminazi butch who was always racist towards our smileys!
                      Psalm 81:10:
                      I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
                      open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

                        Comment

                        • Princess001
                          Confirmed Enemy of God
                          BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                          • Nov 2011
                          • 131
                          #7
                          Re: We Have a Lezbean in Our Midst!

                          But I'm not a lesbian!

                            Comment

                            • Princess001
                              Confirmed Enemy of God
                              BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                              • Nov 2011
                              • 131
                              #8
                              Re: We Have a Lezbean in Our Midst!

                              Originally posted by Professor Bessemer View Post
                              Please tell this disgusting sapphic relationship was with some sort of Asian or Latina seductress. I do not believe that I could stomach the thought of the dear sweet Princess debauching herself with a negress.
                              I was doing it because Pastor told me to! And she was Mexican or something

                                Comment

                                • Wide-Open
                                  Director of European Evangelical Outreach
                                  A Shining Example of Christ's Love
                                  Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
                                  True Christian™
                                  • Nov 2007
                                  • 18449
                                  #9
                                  Re: We Have a Lezbean in Our Midst!

                                  Princess, Princess...

                                  OK.

                                  Are you telling us you are actually a ... man?

                                  Or.

                                  Did you have trouble reading Promise Enforcers - Men Only!

                                  Well?
                                  Psalm 81:10:
                                  I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
                                  open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

                                    Comment

                                    • Princess001
                                      Confirmed Enemy of God
                                      BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                                      • Nov 2011
                                      • 131
                                      #10
                                      Re: We Have a Lezbean in Our Midst!

                                      Originally posted by Wide-Open View Post
                                      Princess, Princess...

                                      OK.

                                      Are you telling us you are actually a ... man?

                                      Or.

                                      Did you have trouble reading Promise Enforcers - Men Only!

                                      Well?
                                      Pastor summoned me here

                                        Comment

                                        • Princess001
                                          Confirmed Enemy of God
                                          BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                                          • Nov 2011
                                          • 131
                                          #11
                                          Re: We Have a Lezbean in Our Midst!

                                          See, a while ago I was having these dreams about this celebrity girl they weren't sex dreams because no real sex was happening, I confessed them to Pastor and he said I wasn't a lesbian...he suggested that I find a not in a gay way a girlfriend so I could excersise these thoughts to make sure to stop the dreams. As you can see its a misunderstanding and im straight

                                            Comment

                                            • Rev. M. Rodimer
                                              Honorary True Christian™
                                              Forum Member
                                              • May 2008
                                              • 13996
                                              #12
                                              Re: We Have a Lezbean in Our Midst!

                                              Originally posted by Princess001 View Post
                                              Pastor summoned me here
                                              Someone says your name, where by human means you could neither hear nor see it, and you come?

                                              You must be a demon!

                                              I rebuke thee, demon, in the name of Jesus Christ!
                                              Bible boring? Nonsense!
                                              Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                                              You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                                                Comment

                                                • Didymus Much
                                                  Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
                                                  • Jun 2010
                                                  • 14079
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: We Have a Lezbean in Our Midst!

                                                  Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                                                  ...You must be a demon!

                                                  I rebuke thee, demon, in the name of Jesus Christ!
                                                  Either that, or she really is a man, which makes her a male lesbian, and that's the worst kind amirite?

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Princess001
                                                      Confirmed Enemy of God
                                                      BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                                                      • Nov 2011
                                                      • 131
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: We Have a Lezbean in Our Midst!

                                                      Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                                                      Someone says your name, where by human means you could neither hear nor see it, and you come?

                                                      You must be a demon!

                                                      I rebuke thee, demon, in the name of Jesus Christ!
                                                      Private Message

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Dr Laurence Niles
                                                          Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
                                                           
                                                          • Jan 2012
                                                          • 9063
                                                          #15
                                                          I think it's clear what you need to do:

                                                          Ezra 10:11 Now therefore make confession unto the LORD God of your fathers, and do his pleasure: and separate yourselves from the people of the land, and from the strange wives

                                                          Keep away from lezzers and confess: you know it makes sense

                                                          You can send a transcript of your confession to me for editing, if need be.
                                                          Posted via Mobile Device
                                                          1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                                                          Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

                                                          Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

                                                            Comment

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