Tweet
Brothers in Christ, the day is soon here. In just a couple of days, the new Star Wars movie has its premiere throughout the nation. I think you all heard about the ungodlyness of these movies and their fans, known as Trekkies, in yesterday's sermon.
We will not tolerate this! As the chairman of Landover's Protest Committee I have decided that on friday, the day of the premiere at 10:00 PM Central Time, we will descend upon Flix Brewhouse in Des Moines during the screening. Unfortuently since our last picket of the James Bond premiere, members of Landover Baptist Church are banned from anywhere within 600 yards of any Des Moines movie theatre. But don't worry, I have the perfect plan!
Remember the Rocky Horror Picture Show picket back in 1998 where we infiltrated the audience by dressing up as characters from the movie, when Pastor Zeke, dressed as Dr. Frank-N-Furter was brutally beaten down, handcuffed and tazed by the Des Moines PD?
This is also my plan this time. We will all dress up as trekkies, e.g, characters from the Star Wars franchise and enter Flix Brewhouse without a problem. Halfway throughout the movie, we will take off the masks, unfold the signs and preach the gospel once and for all for the unsaved trekkie audience! Do not expect them to take it lightly. We can expect to be yelled at, to be beaten, ridiculed and persecuted by the trekkies, and possibly be violently arrested and tazed by the Des Moines PD. However, if just as little one gets the message and gives up their sinful trekkie lifestyle, we have saved a soul from an eternity of damnation!
Considering how trekkies are prone to using violence for anything, I personally suggest all of you to bring at least 1 pistol each as concealed carry, just in case. Better be safe than sorry.
Stay tuned.
We will not tolerate this! As the chairman of Landover's Protest Committee I have decided that on friday, the day of the premiere at 10:00 PM Central Time, we will descend upon Flix Brewhouse in Des Moines during the screening. Unfortuently since our last picket of the James Bond premiere, members of Landover Baptist Church are banned from anywhere within 600 yards of any Des Moines movie theatre. But don't worry, I have the perfect plan!
Remember the Rocky Horror Picture Show picket back in 1998 where we infiltrated the audience by dressing up as characters from the movie, when Pastor Zeke, dressed as Dr. Frank-N-Furter was brutally beaten down, handcuffed and tazed by the Des Moines PD?
This is also my plan this time. We will all dress up as trekkies, e.g, characters from the Star Wars franchise and enter Flix Brewhouse without a problem. Halfway throughout the movie, we will take off the masks, unfold the signs and preach the gospel once and for all for the unsaved trekkie audience! Do not expect them to take it lightly. We can expect to be yelled at, to be beaten, ridiculed and persecuted by the trekkies, and possibly be violently arrested and tazed by the Des Moines PD. However, if just as little one gets the message and gives up their sinful trekkie lifestyle, we have saved a soul from an eternity of damnation!
Considering how trekkies are prone to using violence for anything, I personally suggest all of you to bring at least 1 pistol each as concealed carry, just in case. Better be safe than sorry.
Stay tuned.
Comment