All Porno is Gay Porno and Leads to Demon Possession!

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Brothers and others, we've always known that pornography is evil and sinful, since it makes unsaved men commit adultery in their hearts and causes them to spill their seed outside of their wives lady places, which God hates.

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Matthew 5:28

And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.

And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.

And the thing which he did displeased the Lord: wherefore he slew him also.
Genesis 38:8-10

But what I never realized is that ALL PORNOGRAPHY, even if its just got normal tallywhackers in cooters sex in it, will make you and this great country 100% gay! How you may ask? Well, the demon Baal obviously! Just watch this informative video if you don't believe me!

See that? By watching porn or celebrating Arbor Day, you're begging to become possessed by the great demon lord Baal, and he will turn you into a raging faggot immediately!

[Thaddeus Allerton]

Re: All Porno is Gay Porno and Leads to Demon Possession!

Thank you for keeping us informed, Capt. Portway. I have installed parental control on my PC so not even by accident can I be subjected to that queer making pornography. And I cut down all the trees in my yard.
Job 1:21



And said , Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave , and the LORD hath taken away ; blessed be the name of the LORD.

[Russell Holbeck]

Re: All Porno is Gay Porno and Leads to Demon Possession!

Hello Capt. Aaron Portway. I do not watch pornography any more because I love Jesus but I did watch some when I was younger. There were times when I did not even take the projector down between reels it was that bad.

I did not watch any gay pornography but there was one time I was shipboard and bumped in to a guy coming out of the shower. Even then Jesus was trying to tell me something but I was not listening.

Since you posted it I have read Matthew 5:28 about 100 times. I think I am in trouble because if I am honest with myself there are many women here who wear tennis outfits and I have looked at them longer than is necessary.

Thank you.

Rusty

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: All Porno is Gay Porno and Leads to Demon Possession!

If there's any debate over whether something is perversion or not, just ask: does it get women pregnant? If not, it's perversion.

All forms of non-procreative sexual activity is perversion, and God doesn't care if it's pedophilia, homosexuality, necrophilia, beastiality, or open-mouthed kissing.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: All Porno is Gay Porno and Leads to Demon Possession!

FACT: porno leads to self touching!

FACT: self touching is gay sex (sex with a man, yourself)

FACT: gay sex leads to the gay demon infestation.

I don't care if you are watching an all girl scene, when your grab your own junk you've gone homer on Jesus. You can just as well dress up in full drag and offer your self to the leather bears after that.

[Henry Poppendorfer]

Re: All Porno is Gay Porno and Leads to Demon Possession!

Wait... Somewhere along the line I've gotten confused. Do you mean to tell me that there's actually been porno with a man and a woman? I was always under the impression that porn was one of those things the queermosexuals thought up in the 1970s as a part of their ongoing pedophilic agenda to lure in young schoolboys into their disgusting, sweaty, muscular, alluring folds, and now you're telling me there's actually been smut involving heterosexuals? I'm sure this is one of those new ways all these kids on the internet are "getting off" or "sniffing glue" or whatever they call it, but it shocks me that they've managed to infest poor straight people with their tactics, too!

Is there really no level to which the homers won't stoop in their quest to get me to give in to Satan's dark temptations?

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: All Porno is Gay Porno and Leads to Demon Possession!

[liliths best friends]

Re: All Porno is Gay Porno and Leads to Demon Possession!

Mmmm lesbians !

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: All Porno is Gay Porno and Leads to Demon Possession!

Mmmm lesbians !

Mr Poppendorfer is not a lesbian.

[Thomasunde92]

Re: All Porno is Gay Porno and Leads to Demon Possession!

I guess I'm as bent as a nine bob note then!

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: All Porno is Gay Porno and Leads to Demon Possession!

nine bob note!

We can see that. What is wrong with your teeth?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: All Porno is Gay Porno and Leads to Demon Possession!

We can see that. What is wrong with your teeth?

It's scottish.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: All Porno is Gay Porno and Leads to Demon Possession!

It's scottish.

. . oh

I took my mother to Scotland once. In Glasgow we decided to stop at a tea shop, for afternoon tea. We ordered some cakes. Clunk. A scotsman fell sideways straight off his seat and lay there on the floor, still in the seated position. But sideways and horizontal.

No-one took any notice. Our cakes arrived. Bonk. Another one - female, we thought. The staff just stepped over them with our teapot. By the time we left (probably not much more than 10 minutes under the circumstances) half the other customers such as they were, had succumbed. Like skittles. There was a funny smell, like turpentine or Brasso.

We continued on to John o' Groats.

Here's a picture.

[Thomasunde92]

Re: All Porno is Gay Porno and Leads to Demon Possession!

I'm English haha
I don't get why you continue to call me Scottish when I have told you repeatedly otherwise. The only Scottish person in my family was my Grandad and unfortunately he died before I was born so he didn't get to teach me anything about Scotland

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: All Porno is Gay Porno and Leads to Demon Possession!

Have you been to John o' Groats?