It seems jesus might have been gay!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Not that I believe the jesus of the bible existed, but the jesus of the bible, it seems, was hinted at preferring how shall we say...the 'company' of men!

It seems that with all your song and dance about hating 'homers', the very man you follow so fervently may, in fact, have been one of them! I present to you the following arguments:


Mark 14:51-52
51And there followed him a certain young man, having a linen cloth cast about his naked body; and the young men laid hold on him:
52And he left the linen cloth, and fled from them naked.

Now what was he doing with a 'young, nearly naked boy clad only in a linen cloth? Did he consider it eye-candy?

And here:

John 13:23-26 23 Now there was leaning on Jesus' bosom one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved. 24Simon Peter therefore beckoned to him, that he should ask who it should be of whom he spake. 25He then lying on Jesus' breast saith unto him, Lord, who is it?

Who jesus loved? He then lying on his breast? That does seem a touch on the flamer side, really!

John 19:26-27
26When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son!
27Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.


Doesn't that sound awfully like a son-in-law? If it was only platonic, why would he not say it about any of the other disciples who it is hinted that he clearly cares for?

And here:

John 21:19-21
20Then Peter, turning about, seeth the disciple whom Jesus loved following; which also leaned on his breast at supper, and said, Lord, which is he that betrayeth thee?

It seems he couldn't get enough of that guy leaning on his breast! If it was a platonic thing, why were none of the other disciples included? So, unless there was a misunderstanding there somewhere, your bible clearly seems to suggest that jesus liked his dudes!!

So, what do you have to say about that?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: It seems jesus might have been gay!

So, what do you have to say about that?

What is wrong with that Rachael? This is Jesus we are talking about showing His love for mankind. God is perfect, God can not sin. Therefore we can be sure their nothing lustful about Jesus stripping that young man.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: It seems jesus might have been gay!

What is wrong with that Rachael? This is Jesus we are talking about showing His love for mankind. God is perfect, God can not sin. Therefore we can be sure their nothing lustful about Jesus stripping that young man.

May I present exhibit A: Blatant denial. (In regards to BJ's reply)

First it talks about him being followed by a scantily-clad young boy. Then it talks about a male disciple whom he loves in a way that he does not seem to love all the other male disciples in. It's implied the love for the other disciples was platonic, yet this particular one leaned on his breast, was mentioned that he loved and he told his mother to behold as a son.

That love didn't seem to extend even to those closest, except for the young boy with the linen and this disciple.
I think the picture is pretty clear.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: It seems jesus might have been gay!

Well at that time I don't think there were any queers. God made sure that none of them were around during Jesus' lifetime. Then they started blossoming again right after He temporarily suffered and died on the cross for us.

There is nothing in the Bible to suggest that Jesus took up that vile hobby.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: It seems jesus might have been gay!

May I present exhibit A: Blatant denial. (In regards to BJ's reply)

First it talks about him being followed by a scantily-clad young boy. Then it talks about a male disciple whom he loves in a way that he does not seem to love all the other male disciples in. It's implied the love for the other disciples was platonic, yet this particular one leaned on his breast, was mentioned that he loved and he told his mother to behold as a son.

That love didn't seem to extend even to those closest, except for the young boy with the linen and this disciple.
I think the picture is pretty clear.

Rachael,

Again your lack of faith is shown; Jesus is what? God as 1/3 of the Trinity. That means as God Jesus has all ready seen that young man's supple body when he bathed. So what is the point of remaining clothed around Jesus? By your thinking God is nothing more than this supernatural voyeur who goes around with a raging hard on from all the male butt He is seeing.

That is just outrageous harlot!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Well at that time I don't think there were any queers. God made sure that none of them were around during Jesus' lifetime. Then they started blossoming again right after He temporarily suffered and died on the cross for us.

Can you back that up with scripture? (As you always use that to back you up in all your other thoughts!)

There is nothing in the Bible to suggest that Jesus took up that vile hobby.

Nothing....except for the parts I pointed out.

Rachael,

Again your lack of faith is shown; Jesus is what? God as 1/3 of the Trinity. That means as God Jesus has all ready seen that young man's supple body when he bathed. So what is the point of remaining clothed around Jesus? By your thinking God is nothing more than this supernatural voyeur who goes around with a raging hard on from all the male butt He is seeing.

That is just outrageous harlot!

If that were so, then why were all the other disciples nicely clothed when around him?
And why the constant mention of the lover-disciple who leaned on his breast?

(Sorry for the double post, any mods/admins reading this, feel free to merge this repsonse with my last)

(How about if we just delete the entire perverted thread?--Pastor Ezekiel)

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: It seems jesus might have been gay!

If that were so, then why were all the other disciples nicely clothed when around him?
And why the constant mention of the lover-disciple who leaned on his breast?

(Sorry for the double post, any mods/admins reading this, feel free to merge this repsonse with my last)

In the ancient world it was customary for men to lay while eating two a couch. Jesus was just showing the ancient world’s equivalent of male bonding. It is not like Christ slipped his disciple some tongue and fondled his buttocks. Shame on you Rachael for suggesting this.

What, do you think Christ made Himself flesh just to waist his time with a possibly souless woman? Would you rather scenes of Christ sucking face with Marry Magdoline like that stupid book suggests. How could He possibly save mankind by laying with women.

[Deaner]

Re: It seems jesus might have been gay!

Can you back that up with scripture? (As you always use that to back you up in all your other thoughts!)

Don't be ridiculous; what are you expecting? A Bible verse that says "and let it be noted that there were no queers around Jesus at any time". You're insane Van Helsing.

Out of all the illness that Jesus healed you'd think there'd be at least one homer with a diseased colon mentioned. They weren't there.

Dean

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: It seems jesus might have been gay!

In the ancient world it was customary for men to lay while eating two a couch. Jesus was just showing the ancient world’s equivalent of male bonding. It is not like Christ slipped his disciple some tongue and fondled his buttocks. Shame on you Rachael for suggesting this.

Yeah, and in ancient times, like in Ancient Sparta, men were quite openly homosexual
You want to know what their equivalent of male bonding was?

What, do you think Christ made Himself flesh just to waist his time with a possibly souless woman? Would you rather scenes of Christ sucking face with Marry Magdoline like that stupid book suggests. How could He possibly save mankind by laying with women.

1) The jesus of the bible didn't seem to have interest in 'saving' so much as sowing war and discord.
2) As much could be accomplished by sharing his bed with boys as with a woman. Except the boy wouldn't get pregnant.

Don't be ridiculous; what are you expecting? A Bible verse that says "and let it be noted that there were no queers around Jesus at any time". You're insane Van Helsing.

Exactly. Zeke made that claim, therefore I'd like to know just how that claim could be supported.

Out of all the illness that Jesus healed you'd think there'd be at least one homer with a diseased colon mentioned. They weren't there.

Just because no 'infected colons' were mentioned as such is not proof that there was no homosexuality at the time. How ridiculous!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: It seems jesus might have been gay!

Yeah, and in ancient times, like in Ancient Sparta, men were quite openly homosexual
You want to know what their equivalent of male bonding was?

That was the Greeks. The ancient Jews were very militantly not Greek, ever heard of Simon Maccabee? When Alexander the Great conquered Persia in the 4th Century BC Judah when to the Seleucids, one the Macedonian successor states. Simon Maccabee led a very successful revolt against the Seleucids in 2nd century BC and established the Jewish kingdom that Harod the Great was ruling when Jesus was born.

Now if Jesus was effecting a Greek habit like homerism, or boy botheringa Persian habit, both of the two groups the Jews hated don’t you think with His Holy message of rational Biblical family values have been laughed out of town if not stoned out right? No, He wasn’t. Why? Because He was the Son of God so He couldn't homer! PRAISE!

1) The jesus of the bible didn't seem to have interest in 'saving' so much as sowing war and discord.

,…Against accommodating the pagan Greeks. You forget that Jesus was rebuking the Jews for letting themselves go soft with sissy pagan ways like not beating rebellious children to death.

2) As much could be accomplished by sharing his bed with boys as with a woman. Except the boy wouldn't get pregnant.

A couch is not the same as a bed. He was sharing His seat with another man. Now how could Jesus talk about salvation with a woman next to Him? She would just keep on interrupting Him with some inane prattle about local village gossip, who the local witch poisoned, who the neighbors wife has been harloting herself to. You know, typical petty girly stuff. Jesus would never get a word in about life eternal edgewise if a woman had been involved.

[TwinkBoy]

Re: It seems jesus might have been gay!

Great points Rachael, love!! And the defense of the bible thumpers here is obviously WEAK at best. Now, love, I think I'll go find myself a youth in a loincloth and someone to lay on my breast, LMAO!!

Hey, JESUS did it so WHY can't I????

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: It seems jesus might have been gay!

That was the Greeks. The ancient Jews were very militantly not Greek, ever heard of Simon Maccabee? When Alexander the Great conquered Persia in the 4th Century BC Judah when to the Seleucids, one the Macedonian successor states. Simon Maccabee led a very successful revolt against the Seleucids in 2nd century BC and established the Jewish kingdom that Harod the Great was ruling when Jesus was born.

Now if Jesus was effecting a Greek habit like homerism, or boy botheringa Persian habit, both of the two groups the Jews hated don’t you think with His Holy message of rational Biblical family values have been laughed out of town if not stoned out right? No, He wasn’t. Why? Because He was the Son of God so He could homer! PRAISE!

Ok, go back and read over that, BJ. I dare you to make less sense.
There's something just weird about the way those sentences are structured.

,…Against accommodating the pagan Greeks. You forget that Jesus was rebuking the Jews for letting themselves go soft with sissy pagan ways like not beating rebellious children to death.

Well, the fact that the jesus of the bible is rather horrible, while a good point, isn't really relevant here.

A couch is not the same as a bed. He was sharing His seat with another man. Now how could Jesus talk about salvation with a woman next to Him? She would just keep on interrupting Him with some inane prattle about local village gossip, who the local witch poisoned, who the neighbors wife has been harloting herself to. You know, typical petty girly stuff. Jesus would never get a word in about life eternal edgewise if a woman had been involved.

Back in old days, a couch was often considered the same thing as a bed. And it can be used the same way. What, are you telling me you've never....umm....done the deed on a couch? Or a chair for that matter?

Great points Rachael, love!! And the defense of the bible thumpers here is obviously WEAK at best. Now, love, I think I'll go find myself a youth in a loincloth and someone to lay on my breast, LMAO!! old

Hey, JESUS did it so WHY can't I????

Why thankyou, Twink dear.
I find it funny how we heathens can grasp things so quickly yet these fuddy duddies simply cannot.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: It seems jesus might have been gay!

Ok, go back and read over that, BJ. I dare you to make less sense.
There's something just weird about the way those sentences are structured.

Well, the fact that the jesus of the bible is rather horrible, while a good point, isn't really relevant here.

The Jesus of the Bible is kind and loving and forgiving, as long as you follow Him without question!

Clearly, you're blinded by your heathen hatred and can never know Jesus the way a True Christian does.

Back in old days, a couch was often considered the same thing as a bed. And it can be used the same way. What, are you telling me you've never....umm....done the deed on a couch? Or a chair for that matter?

Shared a meal? Yes, I've done that deed on a couch.

Why thankyou, Twink dear.
I find it funny how we heathens can grasp things so quickly yet these fundy duddies simply cannot.

How dare you call us "Fundy Duddies"!! Really, now. Who's being childish?!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: It seems jesus might have been gay!

Well, the fact that the jesus of the bible is rather horrible, while a good point, isn't really relevant here.

Complaining about grammar is typical when I have you pinned harlot.

Let me make it simple for you baby eater;

• Is the 1st Century Jews wanted nothing to do with the Greeks who were swamping them at the time.
  
• Homerism was an ancient Greek thing *
  
• The Jews would kill any Jew who went homer because it was a Greek thing.
  
• Jesus was preaching to the Jews.**
  
• The Jews did not kill Jesus for being a homer.

That clear enough why your assertion is retarded Rachael?

* The ancient Greeks considered it proper and manly in their depravity. According to the ancient Greeks the only love could be between equals and man is too much better than woman to be equal (so the ancient Greeks weren't utterly nuts***). While I know it is against your Wicker religion to read an original source on Paganism make an exception here Rachael, read the Illiad if you don't believe me.

** Jesus however, since His dad is God, is not a Jew.

***The only proper love is between man and God.

Back in old days, a couch was often considered the same thing as a bed. And it can be used the same way. What, are you telling me you've never....umm....done the deed on a couch? Or a chair for that matter?

I am not going to feed you depravity harlot!

[SUV]

Re: It seems jesus might have been gay!

Shame on you, Miss Rachael! I peeked in on this thread because I thought it read as, "Jesus might have been (a) guy" and I wished to dispel all doubt in my mind Forever. And now....oh, how could you even think that about Him?!