Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED???

[Anubis578]

HELP! I am a bisexual drug user who doubts Christianity and often fantasizes about being raped by a masked stranger! Please help me!

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED???

Indeed you sound very confused. You claim to be atheist but you name yourself after the jackal-headed Egyptian deity.

The simple answer is yes you can be Saved®. All you have to do is read your 1611 King James Bible, repent of your sins of homosexuality, atheism, paganism, drug abuse, bestiality, child molestation, terrorism, cannibalism, rape, murder, bank fraud, and whatever else sins you've committed, and then heartfully and honestly accept Jesus Christ as your savior. Only then you can be Saved®.

However, I have doubts you truly want to be Saved® and you are just here to get a rise out of us. In that case, I would kindly ask you to leave. Otherwise, get your nose into the KJV and start studying, boy.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED???

HELP! I am a bisexual drug user who doubts Christianity and often fantasizes about being raped by a masked stranger! Please help me!

Son, you have more issues than National Geographic magazine! I don't think we can even begin to help you here until you can prove that you want to change. If you can manage to give up your entire sin-filled lifestyle, there might be a chance.

I said might.

EDIT: Is the stranger you imagine raping you a man? If it is, I'm afraid you are a lost cause. Sorry if this is the case.

[Hymie Goldberg]

Re: Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED???

And you wonder why we got out of Egypt when we did?

Hymie

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED???

HELP! I am a bisexual drug user who doubts Christianity and often fantasizes about being raped by a masked stranger! Please help me!

For all that stuff? Yes, you can be saved.
For your obvious and wanton trolling? Probably not. You actually have to want to not spend eternity being roasted.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED???

HELP! I am a bisexual drug user who doubts Christianity and often fantasizes about being raped by a masked stranger! Please help me!

Sounds like you've watched "The Color Purple" one too many times.

Go back to 4chan.

[Stevie]

Re: Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED???

HELP! I am a bisexual drug user who doubts Christianity and often fantasizes about being raped by a masked stranger! Please help me!

Can I come over? I'll bring a mask!!

[Stevie]

Re: Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED???

Can I come over? I'll bring a mask!!

No edit button??? I thought the OP was female!!!!

[Nobar King]

Re: Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED???

Well, it's too late- you're gay, now.

[John Creeser]

Re: Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED???

Well, it's too late- you're gay, now.

Clearly. Wait till Pastor Zeke finds out.

[Musika]

Re: Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED???

No edit button??? I thought the OP was female!!!!

Unsaved trash do not get edit buttons because Fruedian slips reveal a lot about someone. Aka, you, keep making excuses for being a butt-pirate

[Tone Whitterman]

Re: Bisexual Atheist Drug Enthusiast... CAN I BE SAVED???

Hitler was a bi-sexual, boy.