What Are Lezbos Putting In Your Daughters?

[Born Again Bob]

Dear Friends,

As we all know, the capacity of the lesbionic mind to derive satisfaction from the most morbid of sources (balloon doggies, for gosh sakes?) is only matched by their insatiable lust for underaged girls. In the newest, and to my mind, most deadly assault by the Sapphic sisters on young Christian women, these perverts have been encouraging girls to insert batteries into their cooters for "the tingle." Starting with hearing aid batteries, practicioners of this bizarre fetish work their way up, through AAA, AA, A, and finally to C or even D batteries. This is not limited to the bedroom! Tingle addicts keep their power supplies inserted throughout the day, to give them that extra boost which women of average attractiveness can get just from the attention of men.

In short, DO NOT LET YOUR GIRLS HAVE FREE ACCESS TO BATTERIES! While lil Susy may have a perfectly innocent-sounding explanation for why she needs 3 AAA batteries, the sad fact in this day and age is that she's very likely to be jamming them where they can do only evil. Accuse her and see if you can get a confession -- she might lead you into the heart of the dykish conspiracy! (Per our informant, when a lesbian first commits battery on the girl, they call that being "coppertopped.")

For God's sake, before you come home to find your wife strapped onto a golf cart motor, fight the tingle!

Yours in Him,
bab

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: What Are Lezbos Putting In Your Daughters?

Praise Brother!! AMEN!! This story recently was brought to my attention by a True Christian in the great state of Texas. I think it dovetails nicely with the point you are trying to drive home.

Crest SpinBrush Boycotted By Dallas Women

DALLAS (AP) -- Several conservative True Christian mothers in the Dallas area have joined forces and set their sights on banning electric toothbrushes, claiming they can be used for sexual purposes as well as for cleaning teeth.

The leader of the group of boycotters says that she was embarrassed and shocked after entering her daughter's bedroom last month, and said she intends to nip the problem in the bud before things get any worse.

"I caught her using the new toothbrush to pleasure herself down below in her private parts," said 45-year-old Wanda Riftright, a True Christian woman who bought her 15-year-old daughter Tiffany a new Crest SpinBrush for her birthday.

"She's getting old enough to date, and I told her that most boys like girls with nice clean white teeth, and she seemed more than eager to use the new toothbrush. When she kept needing new batteries every two or three days, I got suspicious and decided to investigate. I thought the product might be defective and was eating up batteries faster than normal," she said.

The Crest SpinBrush is constructed in the general shape of a rigid male penis, Riftright says, and when she entered her daughter's bedroom one night, she caught her rubbing the SpinBrush against her private parts and smiling really wide and seemed to be in a state of ecstasy.

"Her teeth look nice and white, but she's smiling wider now that she found another use for the toothbrush," Riftright says.

"She was smiling just as wide as the woman on the Crest website and TV commercials and I now know why, and it isn't because of her clean white teeth," she said.

Several other Dallas Christian women have also caught their daughters using the new toothbrush in the same manner, and decided to take action by boycotting and calling the spinning toothbrush a "Tool of Satan."

When asked for comments about his wife's reaction to catching their daughter masturbating, Randy Riftright said that he thinks his wife is over-reacting, and said that "girls will be girls, just like boys will be boys."

"We can't stop their sexual desires," he said.

"At least she's not gonna get pregnant or catch some sexually transmitted disease from what she's doing."

"When I asked my daughter why she was taking the toothbrush into her bedroom, her face turned red and she started stuttering, and I knew something was up," said Louise Kraebel of Dallas, who bought the new toothbrush for her daughter after she had her braces removed last month.

"When I heard moaning noises coming from her bedroom I thought she might have sneaked a boy in there, but when I opened the door, she was all alone except for her electric toothbrush which she tried to hide under the covers."

"I immediately went in and took it from her, and told her that from now on she's going to have to go back to using an old-fashioned manual toothbrush like I grew up with."

"I'll just go out and buy another SpinBrush with my own money," she told me.

"God didn't invent the electric toothbrush, it was man who did that, and it was a big mistake," Kraebel says.

[Talitha]

Re: What Are Lezbos Putting In Your Daughters?

The Righteous Ladies of Landover are planning Prayer vigils outside all 7-11's that sell the Demon Duracell make of Battery.
They seem to think they can mock Jesus and get away with it.

They even use a Rampant Rabbit to advertise these evil objects.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: What Are Lezbos Putting In Your Daughters?

Praise Brother!! AMEN!! This story recently was brought to my attention by a True Christian in the great state of Texas. I think it dovetails nicely with the point you are trying to drive home.

That's no way to clean your teeth! Although I suppose it would be pretty convenient for those, like Lilith and Rachael, who Satan has gifted with the dreaded Vagina Dentata.

[Wide-Open]

Re: What Are Lezbos Putting In Your Daughters?

Thanks for the heads up Brother BoB.

We had a serious battery scandal in Brussels last year, but due to conspiracy and politics (we call it Dutrouxing), it was not widely reported on.

I will not go into details, this there are limits, but I'll leave you with a picture that is self-explanatory.

[Talitha]

Re: What Are Lezbos Putting In Your Daughters?

Thanks for the heads up Brother BoB.

We had a serious battery scandal in Brussels last year, but due to conspiracy and politics (we call it Dutrouxing), it was not widely reported on.

I will not go into details, this there are limits, but I'll leave you with a picture that is self-explanatory.

Innocent as I am Brothers, I thought these Negras used Car Batteries to Power their "Ghetto" Blasters.
Obviously this one has it attached to a Toothbrush strategically placed in his Rectum!

LOOK AT THE WIRE!

[One-eyed Jack]

Re: What Are Lezbos Putting In Your Daughters?

Horrible! It only takes a quick Google to come up with examples of the sexual depravity of modern women. Look at these comments gleaned from the hellish sumps of the Internets:

1. "My main instrument is Crest spinbrush that I pulled all the brissles out of. Good for [dirty word that rhymes with flit] and insertion, and in the tub (not submersed, but tip in)"

2. "I can only orgasm by masturbation, using my Crest Spinbrush Pro. I've never introduced it during sex because, I mean, it's a toothbrush lol."

3. "For a little more added pleasure in the bathtub, I am a regular user of the Crest spinbrush but I got this idea to put toothpaste on it."

4. "Ok since I'm 15....and not to arouse suspicion from my mom......I use a Crest Spinbrush.....not for penetration but I put it on my [dirty word that rhymes with flit] and within seconds.........hahaha......yeeeeah..... and it only costs like 7$..........cost friendly I say"

These perversions must be stopped. Jesus is weeping.

Any masturbatorulous sinners who read this should go straight to Beating Masturbation now. As that website counsels us, "stop masturbating with Jesus!"

~~ OEJ

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: What Are Lezbos Putting In Your Daughters?

I am completely shocked by this thread! And I find homers so confusing . . . why do two homosexual men have a dildo collection when they already have twice as many choo choos as a normal couple? Why do Lezbeans need a dildo when the last thing they want is a choo choo in the tunnel?

Anyway, there's no such thing as an Lbo, just a bunch of witches trying to kidnap our children and elect Hellary Clinton!

PS Why did I just think of cigars???

[Nobar King]

Re: What Are Lezbos Putting In Your Daughters?

I don't think the battery trick is limited to those sinful women. This is a problem in prisons, too:

Schwarzenegger’s office would not comment and instead referred to the governor’s veto statement, which argues that the bill conflicts with the existing penal code, which allows batteries in prisons. “We were definitely surprised,” says Sean Barry of the Battery Removal Project, which last October helped push to get batteries removed from California prisons for the first time. “It may have been an example of him tending to the interests of the liberal agenda before an election instead of focusing on what would benefit the state.” Lee says, “I was appalled.”

[Brother Temperance]

Re: What Are Lezbos Putting In Your Daughters?

You would genuinely not believe me if I told you what the feminazis were getting up to with cloves of garlic nowadays.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: What Are Lezbos Putting In Your Daughters?

I think the whole concept of allowing a woman to put anything in her mouth besides food is dangerous. I mean it is pretty clear how this girls got this idea of abusing tooth brushes. Tooth brushes are like tampons; Satan's lure to young women to depravity. Sooner or later they will get the idea to stick the toothbrush somewhere else and after that it is only a small step before these toothbrush abusers are crack whores selling bodies to other women in some sleazy back alley in Sin Fransisco. It makes Jesus weeps.

We need not mention the Pagan symbolism of the Crest companies logo?*

I think the best thing to do for a young woman is to nip the problem in the bud and cut of the offending parts off her body. That way she will only think about cooking and making little baby warriors for Jesus and never think any dirty, sinful thoughts.

* as per our legal settlement with the Crest company we will not mention it at all.

[eliot mayfield]

Re: What Are Lezbos Putting In Your Daughters?

now, just for children!


aimed at young boys. sick sick world!

[UGUYSRCOOL]

Re: What Are Lezbos Putting In Your Daughters?

I think the toothbrush idea would be hot

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: What Are Lezbos Putting In Your Daughters?

I think the toothbrush idea would be hot

You would you depraved man-hating Femnazi. Go back to the pit that spawned you she-demon, Christ power covers this forum and protects it from the likes of you.

[lord warrior]

Re: What Are Lezbos Putting In Your Daughters?

Oh dear Lord, no wonder my little Amy has been going threw her batteries in the toothbrush so fast. I have just confiscated her tooth brush. And she can use a manual one from now on. The horror on her toothbrush. She has been masterbaiting and being a lezbean all at the same time.
Damn you Satan, ever time I try to get the devil out of her, you give her wicked ideas to get you right back into her life. The spanking she will get for this latest infraction will gone on a while. Now if I could just figure out why my legs get all wet when I turn her over my knee for her bare but spankings. Just have to wear the old pants then.

I thank you all for informing me of this new lezbean plot for our youngsters.