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  • #1

    Tommorow is my five year anniversary of not masturbating!

    So proud of myself. I can prove this as well. Anyone who puts an ear next to my junk will hear the sloshing of my children. Not one sperm will be out of my penis until I am happily married!!!
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  • #2
    Re: Tommorow is my five year anniversary of not masturbating!

    http://youtu.be/BKSkBsnfkFA


    congrats

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Tommorow is my five year anniversary of not masturbating!

      Originally posted by NathanBrigsby View Post
      So proud of myself. I can prove this as well. Anyone who puts an ear next to my junk will hear the sloshing of my children. Not one sperm will be out of my penis until I am happily married!!!
      Congratualtions on thois godly milestone. Perhaps you can teach John Smith how to control such urges. He is in dire need of such help.
      I Samuel 20:4
      "Then said Jonathan unto David, Whatsoever thy soul desireth, I will even do it for thee."
      This is not a reference of a homosexual relationship but a friendship of depth and platonic commitment! Why must liiebrals always make everything sound so DIRTY!?

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Tommorow is my five year anniversary of not masturbating!

        Originally posted by NathanBrigsby View Post
        So proud of myself. I can prove this as well. Anyone who puts an ear next to my junk will hear the sloshing of my children. Not one sperm will be out of my penis until I am happily married!!!
        Well done Nathan! It shows that it can be done, all you need is Jesus. When I gave up Onanism I just remembered that Jesus is always with me and watching. I couldn't do that in front of Jesus.

        You should treat yourself and mark the occasion. Go and splash out on something.

        YIC

        Jack
        Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

        sigpic

        I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Tommorow is my five year anniversary of not masturbating!

          Originally posted by Jack O'fagan View Post
          Well done Nathan! It shows that it can be done, all you need is Jesus. When I gave up Onanism I just remembered that Jesus is always with me and watching. I couldn't do that in front of Jesus.

          You should treat yourself and mark the occasion. Go and splash out on something.

          YIC

          Jack
          You know? I am going to go out and celebrate today! I will celebrate by buying a protective case for my King James Bible and then go teach the nearby community college the dangers of masturbating.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Tommorow is my five year anniversary of not masturbating!

            Glory friend!!! Congratulations on your five year anniversary of not spilling seed and thus murdering untold masses of unborn.

            My kids are huge fans of Bible Man.....I often show them this as a deterrent

            -Every young man's battle - PORN AND MASTURBATION![/SIZE]
            -DISOWN your ATHEIST children - just like this good mother did!!

            -FINALLY!! Some rights for the rapists!!
            -There is no such thing as animal abuse!!
            -Pregnancy through RAPE is a GIFT from God
            -Keep the Fags out of the Boy Scouts!!
            -WIVES!! Stay in your abusive relationship!

            STOP, DROP & ROLL DOESN'T WORK IN HELL!!!!

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Tommorow is my five year anniversary of not masturbating!

              Congratulations indeed, young man. Unchecked, masturbation invariably leads to fagging. The time comes when a man is no longer satisfied with his own erection and man-seed. It's only a matter of time then until one is tapping toes and impaling their rectums in public toilets with anonymous sissyfags. Praise God, Jesus gave you the courage to cease the self-sin in time!

              In Christ
              Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

              sigpic

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Tommorow is my five year anniversary of not masturbating!

                Originally posted by NathanBrigsby View Post
                So proud of myself. I can prove this as well. Anyone who puts an ear next to my junk will hear the sloshing of my children. Not one sperm will be out of my penis until I am happily married!!!
                You should stop your foolish, sinful pride and instead get on your knees right this minute and THANK JESUS for washing your perverted sin away with His blood! God killed Moses for an attitude like that. What do you think He'll do with a degenerate like you?
                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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