Hello Fellow Jesus Lovers

[Praying Peter]

I think I found the place of my dreams. The place a real God loving American can talk with other non commie pinko liberal Godless heathens.

[Sister Kitty]

Re: Hello Fellow Jesus Lovers

At the top of this subforum:

Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

You will correct your error in your next post, PP.

[eggcake]

Re: Hello Fellow Jesus Lovers

Welcome peter!
As has been stated, please state your church, favourite bible quote and how you came to find Jesus

[Didymus Much]

Re: Hello Fellow Jesus Lovers

At the top of this subforum:

Correct your error in your next post PP.

Now, Kitty, I thought we'd discussed this. You're out in public here, and Peter is a new visitor, a guest, so politeness is a good thing. You know, the "please and thank-you" crap stuff? Yeah, you can do it.

[Praying Peter]

Re: Hello Fellow Jesus Lovers

I don't usually take kindly to a woman talking to me without her man present, but I'll let it go this time. Tell him of your mistake.

I was raised a filthy Lutheran, but was turned to the hand of Jesus by a neighbor. I grew up among the righteous in the mid-west, but had moved to the Godless east coast. I have moved to the land of the heathen brown man in Arizona.

Since then I have attended various churches to find one that has mostly white people who love Jesus.

My favorite verse refers to the destruction of the Muslims.

Deuteronomy 20:15-18

Thus shalt thou do unto all the cities which are very far off from thee, which are not of the cities of these nations. 16But of the cities of these people, which the LORD thy God doth give thee for an inheritance, thou shalt save alive nothing that breatheth: 17But thou shalt utterly destroy them; namely, the Hittites, and the Amorites, the Canaanites, and the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites; as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee: 18That they teach you not to do after all their abominations, which they have done unto their gods; so should ye sin against the LORD your God.

[Des]

Re: Hello Fellow Jesus Lovers

I think I found the place of my dreams. The place a real God loving American can talk with other non commie pinko liberal Godless heathens.

Tell us about the rocky journey which finally led you to Christ, friend. Did you find Him after landing a stay in prison for shooting the weed? Were you raped by Negro homers there twice before meals and bed and all day on Sunday? Did your wife leave you for a transgenitaled track star who still looks and sounds like a guy even though he cut off his tallywacker and put on a skirt? Did you dress in black and cut yourself, then whine about it because nobody paid you attention by telling you how special and individualistic you are?

What's your story, friend? Why not share with us how a stern and wise minister caused you to drop to your knees and bow your head in prayer?

[Praying Peter]

Re: Hello Fellow Jesus Lovers

Tell us about the rocky journey which finally led you to Christ, friend. Did you find Him after landing a stay in prison for shooting the weed? Were you raped by Negro homers there twice before meals and bed and all day on Sunday? Did your wife leave you for a transgenitaled track star who still looks and sounds like a guy even though he cut off his tallywacker and put on a skirt? Did you dress in black and cut yourself, then whine about it because nobody paid you attention by telling you how special and individualistic you are?

What's your story, friend? Why not share with us how a stern and wise minister caused you to drop to your knees and bow your head in prayer?

Well Brother Des, during my youthful days I strayed from Gods path and chose Satan's evil path. I enjoyed the temptation of wild women and alcohol. I finally saw the the light of Christ and stopped my wild ways.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Hello Fellow Jesus Lovers

I strayed from Gods path... I enjoyed the temptation of wild women and alcohol.

Was there fornication?

[eggcake]

Re: Hello Fellow Jesus Lovers

Well Brother Des, during my youthful days I strayed from Gods path and chose Satan's evil path. I enjoyed the temptation of wild women and alcohol. I finally saw the the light of Christ and stopped my wild ways.

What an amazing story!
It just shows how strong Jesus is at saving lost souls!

[Praying Peter]

Re: Hello Fellow Jesus Lovers

Was there fornication?

Yes Brother, I am ashamed to admit there was. I have asked for forgiveness. Do you believe I can be forgiven for such horrible sins?

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Hello Fellow Jesus Lovers

Salvation is possible, but only through a personal relationship with Jesus. Give us your testimony, friend. Are you saved? If so, how did you find Jesus in your former morass of sin? Tell us of your formerly sinful life. Leave out no details, no matter how sordid.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello Fellow Jesus Lovers

Yes Brother, I am ashamed to admit there was. I have asked for forgiveness. Do you believe I can be forgiven for such horrible sins?

Looterans are one of the most despised false Christian cults on earth. I strongly suggest you confess your filthy sins and beg Christ to bathe you in His sweet, sweet blood and get some Salvation up your unsaved keester before it's too late.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Praying Peter]

Re: Hello Fellow Jesus Lovers

Salvation is possible, but only through a personal relationship with Jesus. Give us your testimony, friend. Are you saved? If so, how did you find Jesus in your former morass of sin? Tell us of your formerly sinful life. Leave out no details, no matter how sordid.

Brother Alvin, it would be improper of me to tell such sordid details of the jezebels I have consorted with in mixed company. I have bathed in the blood of the lamb and confessed my sins.

I had followed the path of Christ before and lost my way, somehow Jesus spoke to me in the depths of my depravity and showed me the light once again.

[Praying Peter]

Re: Hello Fellow Jesus Lovers

Looterans are one of the most despised false Christian cults on earth. I strongly suggest you confess your filthy sins and beg Christ to bathe you in His sweet, sweet blood and get some Salvation up your unsaved keester before it's too late.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

Thank you Pastor Ezekiel. I understand I have to prove my faith to you True ChristiansTM before I can show others their place.

My apologies to Sister Kitty.

Looterans are bad yes, one step remove from those Mary worshiping them Catlicks. I have received counseling for my wicked ways sought repentance.

I hope I can prove to you all my character and great faith in teh Almighty. The one true smiter of all them evil Muzlim scum.

[Praying Peter]

Re: Hello Fellow Jesus Lovers

I have to admit to you all that I was a chronic masturbator. So much that I wore the skin off of my little tiny willy. That didn't even stop, Satan had taken over me so deeply I continued to spank the monkey.

I sought counsel with my local pastor at the time. He advised me to embrace the lord and to live a life of abstinence. I spent three whole days locked in my small sweltering room praying to the Lord Jesus Christ to deliver me from the temptation of spanking it. After three days of sweating and praying, I hear a voice say onto me "Thous shall not touch thyself again". I passed out and woke up 12 hours later. Miraculously the painful sores on little willy were healed. Praise Jesus and Hallelujah!!! I shouted. The lord had taken me back into his fold and I once again felt peace. I once again had no more pain in my little willy.

The Lord is truly great brothers and sisters.