[Alan Swallows Waiting for Email Confirmation]

Re: My Testimony

I am sorry to hear God has decided your wife is not worthy of His Love©. I'll pray your wife does the right thing and walks off into an abyss to permit you to find a more sutible one who will not cease in her obligation to express many sons for Christ. My own wife, Mrs. Hutchins is still producing like an chicken dropping eggs, about one every 12 months since we were married. Childbirth these daysw only backs up her daily chores about an hour or so and she just stays up a hour later to catch up.

Thank you for the kind words, Mr Hutchins. Not many people understand what it's like to be stuck with a barren wife. It's hard. And of course the Bible doesn't allow divorce except for adultery (Matthew 5:31-32). Death is the only other way out of the marriage covenant (Romans 7:2-3). I have been praying that God would grant me another son. Perhaps He will answer my prayers in a way I didn't expect.

Whenever I hear another man speaking of his wife's fecundity, I feel satan tempting me with covetousness. But the Bible reminds not to covet your wife or your ass or anything else that is rightfully your property (Exodus 20:17). I am submitting myself to God. I am resisting the devil. Soon, I know, he will flee from me (James 4:7). I just have to keep reminding myself that God will not tempt me beyond what I can bear (1 Corinthians 10:14), even if I must resist to the point of bloodshed (Hebrews 12:4).

There . . . It's passed. Whew! That was close. I almost coveted your wife's fertile womb. That's another spiritual battle won. Praise God!

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: My Testimony

From one former home-churcher to another, welcome to our humble forums! Any friend of is a friend of mine!

I'm glad to hear Obama has not yet succeeded in making worship at home illegal. While I am perfectly willing and able to go to jail for my faith, like the great and inspirational martyr Kim Davis, still I pray for Jesus to return first so I can be a part of the washing of the feet - in the blood of the wicked that is, as promised by the LORD Almighty (Psalm 58:10). I am sorry to hear your wife has displeased Jesus enough to close off her womb to your glory, but with faith, anything is possible (John 14:13). I will pray that she starts her spectacular rebound with triplets! As this Truth™ has now been named and claimed, I would start stocking up on diapers if I were you.

[Alan Swallows Waiting for Email Confirmation]

Re: My Testimony

Thank you for the warm welcome, Mrs Ethelreda, and for your prayers. I just sent my wife out to buy diapers, bottles, onesies and whatever else it is babies need. We've marked the date nine months from today in the calendar. We're stepping out in faith.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: My Testimony

Thank you for the warm welcome, Mrs Ethelreda, and for your prayers. I just sent my wife out to buy diapers, bottles, onesies and whatever else it is babies need. We've marked the date nine months from today in the calendar. We're stepping out in faith.

How excellent! Your faith won't be in vain! May the LORD bless you with three healthy boys, and your wife with nine months of unrelenting nausea, sciatic nerve pain, swollen ankles, and painful breasts as a reminder of His Sovereignty, and her privilege to serve Him at all times!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: My Testimony

Welcome to God's favorite forum!

It is better to die and be with the Lord.

I couldn't agree more! I pray you will die soon so you can be with God.

[Russell Holbeck]

Re: My Testimony

Hello Alan Swallows.

You are nicer than most of the people who come here some use bad words or post pictures of men putting their penises inside each other even though Jesus tells people not to do that. You also like quoting the Bible which is nice I like putting Bible verses here look at Proverbs 27:17 it says:

Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

When I first read this I thought it was about sharpening a person so I asked Pastor Ezekiel about it and he said Boy are you pulling my leg that ain't about sharpening it's about Godly Christian men making each other better by hanging out and drinking Scotch and smoking cigars I am not a boy and I did not touch his leg.

I am glad that we will be friends in Heaven and I also sent you a friend request for down here.

Thank you.

Rusty

P.S. The pictures of men being unseemly with each other are removed by someone so do not worry about seeing them.

[Alan Swallows Waiting for Email Confirmation]

Re: My Testimony

Thanks once again, all of you, for the warm welcome, kind words and your prayers. I'm overwhelmed by the fountain of agape love I feel in this place. And thank you, Russell for your friendship.

[Russell Holbeck]

Re: My Testimony

Thanks once again, all of you, for the warm welcome, kind words and your prayers. I'm overwhelmed by the fountain of agape love I feel in this place. And thank you, Russell for your friendship.

Hello Alan Swallows.

Thank you for being my friend now we can help each other when we fall look at Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 it says:

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

The next verse Ecclesiastes 4:11 is a little confusing because it sounds like it might be contradicting Leviticus it says:

Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?

Maybe we should bring extra blankets.

Thank you.

Rusty

[BrotherLarry]

Re: My Testimony

Brother Swallows,

I greet you in the lovely and powerful name of our Gracious Lord and Savior, JESUS CHRIST! Amen and Amen! As the other folks here have mentioned, we often receive visitors that have ill intent - all manner of vile sinners, including Cathylicks, Buddhists, homers, bisexurals, furries, emos, and death metal punks. All of these send waves of disgust through my being. The unsaved obviously do not understand what UNSAVED UNWELCOME means.

But hey, let's not allow this drivel to monopolysize our fellowshipment. A former papist, I came to the knowledge of the true Salvation(R) of Christ through the good folks of Landover. My time here has been full of men filling me full of their goodness and their love, and as I open myself to their kindness, all I can say is that the cockles of my heart are warmed. The sweet honey of the rock gushes forth from the bowels of my being - GLORY! I hope that you, too, will feel the warmth of fine Christian people doing what they do best. It truly is unconditionable love and I am so grateful for God's many blessings.

I am joining Sister Mary's prayer that your spouse conceives triplets. Matthew 18:19 reminds us that if two agree on earth, it shall be done for them of our Father in Heaven. So, I agree, Lord! Let this man's seed find purchase on the walls of his help meet's womb, Lord! We lift her womb up to You, Master, and believe that You will have Your Way, for You have surely told us to go forth and multiply. AMEN AND AMEN AND AMEN. Oh, praise Jesus, my brother - I just know you'll be reporting on a new addition to your family if you have faith as a mustard seed. What was barren has become fruitful; that which was withered now holds precious life.

Oh, if only I was blessed by the Lord with a help meet, but perhaps my punishment for the papistry of my past is to live my life alone, never knowing a woman and never hearing the words "Daddy, don't you walk so fast."

Well, Brother, again I send my warmest welcome. Our friendship has begun and will continue on Heaven's shores. GLORY!

COME, LORD JESUS!
BrotherLarry