[Vengeance Puriel]

Re: Introduction

High tails it? Apologies for being inactive James. I have been repenting and busy showing my community how wrong they are.

You should pray and help yourself first, then help others.

A sinner cannot guide to the Lord as effective as a True Christian™️ Can, so get right with God first, then He will guide you on your true path.

Matthew 6:24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

[Bootsy Shorty Invertebrate]

Re: Introduction

You should pray and help yourself first, then help others.

A sinner cannot guide to the Lord as effective as a True Christian™️ Can, so get right with God first, then He will guide you on your true path.

Matthew 6:24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

I like to multitask.

[Bootsy Shorty Invertebrate]

Re: Introduction

Oh, my! Thank you so much, dear Mr. Shorty, for sharing this encouraging news with us. Goodness; I'm sure we are all as happy as can be about your repenting from your icky sins. I hope it will not be too much to ask, but perhaps you might like to favor us with your favorite, relevant verses from the blessed -- the ones that have been so influential in helping you to see the error of your ways, and of your need for complete repentance. I'm sure that I speak for all people here at when I say that I cannot wait to hear more of your glorious conversion. May bless you, Dear.

Thank you so very much for your kind words Mrs White.


I have been influenced by, but not limited to, these verses:


"The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance."
2 Peter 3:9



"Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord; And he shall send Jesus Christ, which before was preached unto you: Whom the heaven must receive until the times of restitution of all things, which God hath spoken by the mouth of all his holy prophets since the world began."
Acts 3:19-21



"Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee.*"
Acts 8:22

[Isabella White]

Re: Introduction

Thank you so very much for your kind words Mrs White.

I have been influenced by, but not limited to, these verses:

"The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance."
2 Peter 3:9

"Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord; And he shall send Jesus Christ, which before was preached unto you: Whom the heaven must receive until the times of restitution of all things, which God hath spoken by the mouth of all his holy prophets since the world began."
Acts 3:19-21

"Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee.*"
Acts 8:22

Oh, happy day, dear Mr. Shorty! I am so pleased that you are reading the blessed . My goodness; when you first arrived here at , I was 99% certain that you were not going to take the Word of the Living seriously, and that you would see yourself in the eternal flames of one day. Now, if you wish to stay on the path of glorious salvation, you must continue to read the -- every day, several times a day. Feel free to ask questions of the senior members of . Our blessed brethren are only too pleased to help you to stay on the straight and narrow path to Heaven's gates. And don't forget to ask about how you can help our beloved reach his financial goal for the funding of his new jet aeroplane. You'll be glad you did, Dear!

[Bootsy Shorty Invertebrate]

Re: Introduction

Oh, happy day, dear Mr. Shorty! I am so pleased that you are reading the blessed . My goodness; when you first arrived here at , I was 99% certain that you were not going to take the Word of the Living seriously, and that you would see yourself in the eternal flames of one day. Now, if you wish to stay on the path of glorious salvation, you must continue to read the -- every day, several times a day. Feel free to ask questions of the senior members of . Our blessed brethren are only too pleased to help you to stay on the straight and narrow path to Heaven's gates. And don't forget to ask about how you can help our beloved reach his financial goal for the funding of his new jet aeroplane. You'll be glad you did, Dear!

May I ask which jet aeroplane I can help fund? I have money going into a pension fund at the moment which I feel would be far better used should it be diverted to this aeroplane fund. Have we considered fuel expenses?

[Isabella White]

Re: Introduction

May I ask which jet aeroplane I can help fund? I have money going into a pension fund at the moment which I feel would be far better used should it be diverted to this aeroplane fund. Have we considered fuel expenses?

Oh, I'm ever so pleased that you're interested in donating to the new jet aeroplane fund for our beloved , Dear Miss Shorty! This project is a most worthy one, and diverting your pension fund into the aeroplane fund would be a very wise move. Why, now that you're with us (the servants of the ), and since you will be studying the with us, then I have a suspicion that you may miss facing death if you are with us when we are so gloriously enraptured in the air with the .

I Thessalonians 4:16-18:
16 For the self shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of : and the dead in shall rise first:
17 Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the in the air: and so shall we ever be with the .
18 Wherefore comfort one another with these words.

And, if my hunch is correct, then you will not need to worry about pesky, worldly things, such as pre-arranging your funeral. Why, you might even like to consider bequeathing your entire Estate to .

Now, then, as for the aeroplane fund, I am pleased to include a link that is chock-full of useful information. So, do take your time to read through this very carefully, Dear, and should you have any questions about the next step in donating your funds, I am sure that our Pastor, or one of our senior menfolk on the Board, will be more than happy to provide the much-needed information to you. And, may richly bless you, as you serve here -- at : .

https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=105087

[Bootsy Shorty Invertebrate]

Re: Introduction

Oh, I'm ever so pleased that you're interested in donating to the new jet aeroplane fund for our beloved , Dear Miss Shorty! This project is a most worthy one, and diverting your pension fund into the aeroplane fund would be a very wise move. Why, now that you're with us (the servants of the ), and since you will be studying the with us, then I have a suspicion that you may miss facing death if you are with us when we are so gloriously enraptured in the air with the .

I Thessalonians 4:16-18:
16 For the self shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of : and the dead in shall rise first:
17 Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the in the air: and so shall we ever be with the .
18 Wherefore comfort one another with these words.

And, if my hunch is correct, then you will not need to worry about pesky, worldly things, such as pre-arranging your funeral. Why, you might even like to consider bequeathing your entire Estate to .

Now, then, as for the aeroplane fund, I am pleased to include a link that is chock-full of useful information. So, do take your time to read through this very carefully, Dear, and should you have any questions about the next step in donating your funds, I am sure that our Pastor, or one of our senior menfolk on the Board, will be more than happy to provide the much-needed information to you. And, may richly bless you, as you serve here -- at : .

https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=105087

Dear Sister White,


I cannot help but notice we are thinking subsonic? Why not attain something which can reach an altitude closer to the Lord himself? I'm thinking we should absolutely mud "Pastor" Creflo Dollar and get something far superior in speed too. Supersonic for a Super True Christian Pastor! I would also like to contribute my earnings to a fuel fund.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Introduction

High tails it? Apologies for being inactive James. I have been repenting and busy showing my community how wrong they are.

God never takes a day off, nor does a real Christian.24/7/365 God is everywhere at once and always by your side. He leaves you alone and guides your every move.

[Bootsy Shorty Invertebrate]

Re: Introduction

God never takes a day off, nor does a real Christian.24/7/365 God is everywhere at once and always by your side. He leaves you alone and guides your every move.

Too right Brother Hutchins! As such I would never say he would!

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Introduction

I would also like to contribute my earnings to a fuel fund.

Fantastic idea. Pastor Zeke's jet will take so much fuel it will require loads of money to keep it in the air. And why shouldn't he be? There are souls to save all over the world! Who can save souls when they arrive in town on the shabby bus with old women and their chickens? No one, that's who!


To keep this jet moving, we'll need a constant source of income. Perhaps one of the accountants at church can find a convenient way to move money around, from one budget to another. The Ladies of Landover Prayer Warriors Mighty Mountain of Love group will get on this right away. We have our work cut out for us these days as Satan has enlisted those Black Transgender Marxists to vex us. But we will not be thwarted!


Glory!