[realDonaldTrump (Quarantined)]

Re: cant it wont' post on the forum

To everyone who says that I am mentally unfit to serve as President: I am as stable as anyone who is still left in the White House. Anyone! Didn't you see my prefect score on the cognitive test? Man, Woman, Person, Camera, TV. See, I STILL remember the pictures. Nobody could do that!!!

Now, where is Zeke? Is he with that turncoat Pence plotting to remove me from office? IS HE? I KNEW IT HE TURNED ON ME JUST LIKE BEANBAG BILL BARR AND MIDDLE-AGED MELANIA. You're all out to get me with Pelosi and Shumer, but I won't let it happen!!! I had the Secret Service remove the CIA chip from my BRAIN so I don't need to put foil under my combover anymore. Please Ask Zeke to call me ASAP.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: cant it wont' post on the forum

[realDonaldTrump (Quarantined)]

Re: cant it wont' post on the forum

There are Going to be some Changes. You all Know my staff at the Whitehouse could not be TRUSTED, that's why I need Loyalty Oaths from EveryBody. If Zeke's NOT here any more I need to know who's Going to be my Number 2. PENCE was a lying sonovagun -- NO RHINOS.

[realDonaldTrump (Quarantined)]

Re: cant it wont' post on the forum

Good idea, Mr President! And talking of things that only you can do, are there any more pardons going? Asking for a friend.

MY ideas ARE the BEST ideas.

White House Counsel told me I can't keep selling pardons, so Ruby Giuliani is handling that now. Your friend should call him, or just bid on E-Bay. I recommend clicking Buy It Now, just in case this BOGUS impeachment thing has legs.

[realDonaldTrump (Quarantined)]

Re: cant it wont' post on the forum

Crazy Nancy Pelosi, SHUT UP already. Instead of plotting to FALSELY impeach me, why don't you get your BOTOX fixed? You look ridiculous!

[realDonaldTrump (Quarantined)]

Re: cant it wont' post on the forum

When I'm fighting the Deep State all ALONE in beautiful Mar-A-Lago, I sometimes get hungry. That's why I eat Goya BEANS -- TWO Thumbs up Ivanka For The Senate and say byebye to Little Marco (that's What I call him).

[realDonaldTrump (Quarantined)]

Re: cant it wont' post on the forum

Big announcement: The Area 51 aliens are REAL!!! I only took one security briefing as President, but I remember they told me that. No, wait, I saw it on Hannity. Hannity has bigger intellectuals than the Air Force, anyway. Watch him after he leaves Fox!

[realDonaldTrump (Quarantined)]

Re: cant it wont' post on the forum

Twitter says they banned me for life. FALSE!!! I FIRED them because they kept calling me a liar. They are so MEAN! Let's see how quickly they FAIL without me!!! I'm going to repeal and replace Twitter with a better, less expensive platform, just like I did with Obamacare. STAY TUNED!!

[realDonaldTrump (Quarantined)]

Re: cant it wont' post on the forum

Big announcement: Area 51 is REAL!! I have seen all the documents BELIEVE me, I can assure you the Secrets are all REAL. So many secrets... The Best One I haven't mentioned yet. Maybe never... What a Shame to let the Nations Secrets BE given away to Russia -- that's technically Leverage not a Threat according to my lawyers. No PARDON necessary when you have Leverage. Not many people know what that means -- Pelosi CERTAINLY DOESN'T!

[realDonaldTrump (Quarantined)]

Re: cant it wont' post on the forum

If you're plotting to Overthrow the Government for me, please Consider this first: Wear a shirt unless your a Hot girl! Nobody wants to see this:

[realDonaldTrump (Quarantined)]

Re: cant it wont' post on the forum

I have a deal to offer to Numskull Nancy--name me Emporer of the Americas and I'll resign the Presidency immediately. I own property in Scotland, so I'm already a nobleman. Act now before some Other Country takes me up on this AMAZING OFFER!!!

[realDonaldTrump (Quarantined)]

Re: cant it wont' post on the forum

If you don't have the Votes to make me Emporer, how about this? You agree to refurnish every Federal Government Building with timeless, elegant pieces from the Trump Collection, and I'll walk. Believe me, I'll give you a great, great government discount, just like I do with the Secret Service suites at Mar-a-Lago.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: cant it wont' post on the forum

Mr. President, if Four Seasons Total Landscaping was good enough for a press conference, then might I be so bold as to suggest the Blood of Christ Motel for your inaugural ball as President-in-exile? One hotelier to another, it would be an excellent location with plenty of space for the all-important military parade. I understand that the US Military will not be available, but I'm sure all of the brave and loyal members of the MAGA Militia who haven't been tracked down by federal agents or already committed to gatecrashing Pretender Biden's faux-inauguration will be glad to attend.

[realDonaldTrump (Quarantined)]

Re: cant it wont' post on the forum

Mr. President, if Four Seasons Total Landscaping was good enough for a press conference, then might I be so bold as to suggest the Blood of Christ Motel for your inaugural ball as President-in-exile? One hotelier to another, it would be an excellent location with plenty of space for the all-important military parade.

It is a kind Offer, and your Facilities are outstanding. But I'm leaning toward hosting the unaugural event at the Trump Asunción Hotel in Paraguay. I may be DETAINED there on business for a couple of Decades.

To the Whitehouse staff: everyone keeps coming into the Residence to tell me what to do. That's what I have Newsmax for, so this has to stop! Everyone OUT!!! These Men will stay here: Keitel, Jodl, Krebs, and Burgdorf.

[realDonaldTrump (Quarantined)]

Re: cant it wont' post on the forum

Don't tell Sleepy Joe, but I had a Whoopie Cushion sewn into the Presidential Chair. He'll probably never even NOTICE!!!