Um, Hello.

**SalvationSeeker** · 01-07-2007, 08:12 AM

Re: Um, Hello.

Originally posted by shaunasaurus View Post

As a pastor arn't you supposed to share the love of God with people?
Instead of degrading them?
And pushing away their beliefs and shoving your's down their throats?
He isn't mocking God, but you seem to be, by being very cruel. God only wants love among people, and wants to give love to his billions of children as well.
Just because someone is different from you does not mean they are spawn of Satan, it just means they are different, but God still loves them.
And didn't we learn way back in 1st grade to not bother with differences and just love one another? And we learned that in Sunday School too, didn't we.

We have tried to tell the recalcitrant what the Bible says.
YET HE JUST DOESN'T LISTEN (and neither does you.)
Maybe this, which will be a very long read, might help ..

It tells us some of our beliefs, WHICH ARE TAKEN RIGHT OUT OF THE HOLY BIBLE.
We do not add anything to the teachings of the Bible, nor do we remove anything.
And let's debunk some of your ungodly ideas at the same time!

1. SALVATION; It requires faith AND works.

Jesus will judge you according to your works:
For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works.
Matthew 16:27

Yet without faith in Jesus you are already lost, no matter how good your works:
Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
John 14:6

As such, faith and works cannot be had without each other. Deny one, you deny both:
Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.
James 2:17

The Old Testament, the basis of His commandments, cannot be ignored because Jesus discard the claim that He came to destroy it:
Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.
Matthew 5:17-18

It shall last until Heaven and Earth pass:
And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away;
And there was no more sea.
Revelation 21:1

And everything is fulfilled:
And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end.
I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely.
Revelation 21:6

2. GOD IS MORE THAN A SINGLE CONCEPT, YOU DO NOT KNOW HIM, NOR COULD YOU EVER JUDGE HIM.

No man has ever seen Him:
No man hath seen God at any time, the only begotten Son, which is in the bosom of the Father, he hath declared him.
John 1:8

Most do not know Him:
He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him.
1 John 2:4

Nor does He know them:
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name?
And in thy name have cast out devils? And in thy name done many wonderful works?
And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
Matthew 7:22

Nor will He change His mind about it:
For I am the LORD, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed.
Malachi 3:6

Nor is He a God that can be defined by "Love" and "Peace":
Think not that I am come to send peace on earth:
I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:34

If you think anything about God is contradictonary or wrong, then that's ALWAYS your shortcoming, never His:
But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him:
Neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.
1 Corinthians 2:14

That's because you are an unclean being undeserving of God's mercy:
How then can man be justified with God? Or how can he be clean that is born of a woman?
Job 25:4

And you can only become clean by being washed in the blood of Jesus:
And from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, and the first begotten of the dead, and the prince of the kings of the earth.
Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood,
And hath made us kings and priests unto God and his Father; to him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.
Revelation 1:5-6

Those who refuse to obey Jesus commandmenst will suffer eternal torture in hell:
So shall it be at the end of the world: the angels shall come forth, and sever the wicked from among the just,
And shall cast them into the furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Matthew 13:49-50

3. OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE UNSAVED.

UNSAVED UNWELCOME!:
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?
And what communion hath light with darkness?
2 Corinthians 6:14

We do not love the world; the unsaved that are the world:
Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
1 John 2:15

And the unsaved world hates us:
If ye were of the world, the world would love his own:
But because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
John 15:19

And persecutes us:
And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.
Matthew 10:22

Just as the world doesn't understand God, it doesn't understand us either:
Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God:
Therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not.
1 John 3:1

In a world of evil, we hate evil-doers, as commanded:
Examine me, O LORD, and prove me; try my reins and my heart.
For thy lovingkindness is before mine eyes: and I have walked in thy truth. I have not sat with vain persons, neither will I go in with dissemblers.
I have hated the congregation of evil doers; and will not sit with the wicked.
Psalm 26:2-5

Since we are to be followers of God:
And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.
Matthew 10:38

We hate what He hates, love what He loves; and simply follow His example:
For thou art not a God that hath pleasure in wickedness: neither shall evil dwell with thee.
The foolish shall not stand in thy sight: thou hatest all workers of iniquity.
Psalm 5:5

We are to judge everyone according to their righteousness:
Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.
John 7:24

According to righteousness ONLY, nothing else:
Ye shall do no unrighteousness in judgment: thou shalt not respect the person of the poor, nor honor the person of the mighty:
But in righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.
Leviticus 19:15

And be judged using the same meters:
For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
Matthew 7:2

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
There are much more.
But if you two cannot even understand that Christians are commanded to follow these few and simple commands, then it would be pointless to list everything.

It seems like you beat me to this, good Pastor, oh well..
The more the better, and I think we can consider this..

CASE CLOSED!
NOW EITHER REPENT OR YOU WILL BURN IN HELL.
TURN - OR - BURN!

**shaunasaurus** · 01-07-2007, 08:13 AM

Re: Um, Hello.

Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post

This is what we learned in Sunday school.

Matthew
While insulting the Pharisees and Sadducees, John the Baptist calls an entire generation a "generation of vipers." 3:7
Those who bear bad fruit will be cut down and burned "with unquenchable fire." 3:10, 12
Jesus says that most people will go to hell. 7:13-14
Those who fail to bear "good fruit" will be "hewn down, and cast into the fire." 7:19
"the children of the kingdom [the Jews] shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 8:12
Jesus tells his disciples to keep away from the Gentiles and Samaritans, and go only to the Israelites. 10:5-6
Cities that neither "receive" the disciples nor "hear" their words will be destroyed by God. It will be worse for them than for Sodom and Gomorrah. And you know what God supposedly did to those poor folks (see Gen.19:24). 10:14-15
Families will be torn apart because of Jesus (this is one of the few "prophecies" in the Bible that has actually come true). "Brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death." 10:21
"Whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven." 10:33
Jesus says that he has come to destroy families by making family members hate each other. He has "come not to send peace, but a sword." 10:34-36
Jesus condemns entire cities to dreadful deaths and to the eternal torment of hell because they didn't care for his preaching. 11:20-24
"He that is not with me is against me." 12:30
"Whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him." 12:31-32
Jesus often called people names. One of his favorites was to call his adversaries a "generation of vipers." 12:34
Jesus will send his angels to gather up "all that offend" and they "shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth." 13:41-42, 50
Jesus refuses to heal the Canaanite (Mk.7:26 says she was Greek) woman's possessed daughter, saying "it is not meet to take the children's bread, and to cast it to the dogs." 15:22-26
The ever-so-kind Jesus calls the Pharisees "hypocrites, wicked, and adulterous." 15:2-3
In the parable of the marriage feast, the king sends his servants to gather everyone they can find, both bad and good, to come to the wedding feast. One guest didn't have on his wedding garment, so the king tied him up and "cast him into the outer darkness" where "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 22:12-13
Jesus condemns the Jews for being "the children of them which killed the prophets." 23:31
Jesus blames his the Jews (who were then living) for "all the righteous blood" from Abel to Zecharias, 23:35
The servant who kept and returned his master's talent was cast into the "outer darkness" where there will be "weeping and gnashing of teeth." 25:30
Jesus tells us what he has planned for those that he dislikes. They will be cast into an "everlasting fire." 25:41
"His blood be on us, and on our children." This verse blames the Jews for the death of Jesus and has been used to justify their persecution for twenty centuries. 27:25 Mark
Jesus becomes angry at those who said that he had "an unclean spirit," so he announces the unforgivable sin: "blasphemy against the Holy Ghost." 3:29
Any city that doesn't "receive" the followers of Jesus will be destroyed in a manner even more savage than that of Sodom and Gomorrah. 6:11
Jesus initially refuses to cast out a devil from a Syrophoenician woman's daughter, calling the woman a "dog". After much pleading, he finally agrees to cast out the devil. 7:27
If you're ashamed of Jesus, he'll be ashamed of you. (And you'll go straight to hell.) 8:38
Jesus says that those that believe and are baptized will be saved, while those who don't will be damned. 16:16 Luke
Those who fail to bear "good fruit" will be "hewn down, and cast into the fire." 3:9
John the Baptist says that Christ will burn the damned "with fire unquenchable." 3:17
Jesus says that entire cities will be violently destroyed and the inhabitants "thrust down to hell" for not "receiving" his disciples. 10:10-15
Jesus says, "He that is not with me is against me." 11:23
Those who "blaspheme against the Holy Ghost" will never be forgiven. 12:10
God is like a slave-owner who beats his slaves "with many stripes." 12:46-47
According to Jesus, only a few will be saved; the vast majority will suffer eternally in hell where "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 13:23-30
Jesus also believes the story about Noah's flood and Sodom's destruction. He says, "even thus shall it be in the day the son of man is revealed ... Remember Lot's wife." This tells us about Jesus' knowledge of science and history, and his sense of justice. 17:29-32
In the parable of the talents, Jesus says that God takes what is not rightly his, and reaps what he didn't sow. The parable ends with the words of Jesus: "bring them [those who preferred not to be ruled by him] hither, and slay them before me." 19:22-27 John
People are damned or saved depending only on what they believe. 3:18, 36
The "wrath of God" is on all unbelievers. 3:36
John, with his usual anti-Semitism, says that the Jews persecuted Jesus and "sought to slay him." 5:16, 18
John says that Jesus "would not walk in Jewry, because the Jews sought to kill him." 7:1
No one could speak openly about Jesus "for fear of the Jews." 7:13
If you don't believe in Jesus, you will "die in your sins" (and then go to hell). 8:24
Jesus calls his opponents (the Jews) the sons of the devil. 8:44
Once again, "the Jews" are accused of trying to kill Jesus. 11:8
If you don't believe in Jesus you are going to hell. 12:48
Jesus is the only way to heaven. All other religions lead to hell. 14:6
John blames the Jews for the death of Jesus. 19:7, 12, 14-15
"He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father."
If you follow Jesus' teachings, God will love you -- otherwise... well, you know. 14:21
Those who do not believe in Jesus will be cast into a fire to be burned. 15:6
Now that Jesus has come, non-believers have no excuse for not believing in him. 15:22
John, with his usual anti-Semitism, says that the disciples hid in locked room "for fear of the Jews." 20:19 Acts
Peter blames the Jews for the death of Jesus. 3:14-15
Peter claims that Dt.18:18-19 refers to Jesus, saying that those who refuse to follow him (all non-Christians) must be killed. 3:23
God will torture forever those who don't know the password to heaven. 4:12
Once again, Peter accuses the Jews of murdering Jesus. 5:30
Stephen blames the Jews for persecuting the prophets and murdering Jesus. 7:51-52
After Saul "increased the more in strength, and confounded the Jews," the "Jews took counsel to kill him." 9:22-23
The Jews are again blamed for the death of Jesus. 10:39
Herod kills James the brother of John and imprisons Peter "because he saw it pleased the Jews." 12:1-3
The "angel of the Lord" killed Herod by having him "eaten of worms" because "he gave not God the glory." 12:23
Paul and the Holy Ghost conspire together to make Elymas (the sorcerer) blind. 13:8-11
The Jews of Antioch, after seeing Paul's success in preaching, were envious and blasphemed God. Paul then declares them to be "unworthy of everlasting life." 13:45-46
Once again "the Jews stirred up" trouble and "raised persecution against Paul and Barnabas, and expelled them out of their coasts." 13:50
"The unbelieving Jews" stir up trouble again for Paul and incite the people to try to stone him to death. 14:2-5
In Thessalonica, "the Jews which believed not, moved with envy" stir up trouble for Paul and his friends. 17:5, 13
"And when they [the Jews of Corinth] opposed themselves, and blasphemed, he [Paul] shook his raiment, and said unto them, Your blood be upon your own heads." (Have a nice day?) 18:6
"The Jews made insurrection with one accord against Paul, and brought him to the judgment seat." 18:12
The first Christian book burning occurs when Paul's converts at Ephesus burn 50,000 silver pieces worth of books. 19:19
Poor Paul complains, once again, of being mistreated by "the Jews." 20:19
The Jews, once again, incite the people to kill poor old Paul 21:27, 31
The Jews form a grand conspiracy to kill Paul. They vow not to eat until the job is done. 23:12-15
Claudius saves Paul from being killed by the Jews. 23:27
Those pesky Jews caught Paul and and tried to kill him. But he got away. Darn! 26:21 Romans
"The wrath of God" is on all unbelievers. 1:18-20
The existence and nature of God are self-evident; thus, unbelievers are "without excuse." 1:20
God abandons those who don't know him to "uncleanness and vile affections." 1:24, 26, 28
With his usual intolerance, Paul condemns homosexuals (including lesbians). This is the only clear reference to lesbians in the Bible. 1:26-28
Homosexuals (those "without natural affection") and their supporters (those "that have pleasure in them") are "worthy of death." 1:31-32
Paul says that those who accuse him of lying deserve damnation. 3:8
"He that doubteth is damned ... Whosoever is not of faith is sin." 14:23
Shun those who disagree with your religious views. 16:17 1 Corinthians
Christians can judge everything and everybody, but no non-Christian can judge them. 2:15
"Put away from among yourselves that wicked person."
Stay away from "fornicators", "idolaters", and "drunkards". Do not associate, speak to, or eat dinner with such "wicked" people. 5:9-13
"Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world?" 6:2
Paul lists ten things that will keep you out of heaven, including homosexuality and being "effeminate." 6:9-10
Don't be an idolater. If you become one, God will make you sit down to eat and then rise up to play. 10:7
Paul claims that God killed 23,000 in a plague for "committing whoredom with the daughters of Moab 10:8
Gentiles sacrifice to devils. If you have gentile friends, then you are friends with devils. 10:20
Those who don't love Jesus are to be "anathema" (damned). 16:22 2 Corinthians
All non-Christians are blind. They were blinded by God to prevent them from seeing the truth. 3:14-16
"The god of this world" has blinded the minds of nonbelievers. 4:3-4
Keep away from unbelievers. Neither marry nor be friends with them. 6:14-17
Christians cannot be freethinkers, since all their thoughts and imaginings must be brought into captivity in obedience to Christ. 10:5
Paul says he "will not spare" when he comes back to punish those who have sinned. 13:2
Are you a reprobate? Here's the test: if you know for sure that Jesus is in you, you're not a reprobate. Otherwise you are. 13:5 Galatians
If anyone dares to disagree with Paul on religious matters, "let him be accursed." 1:8-9
Those who try to follow the law are cursed 3:10
"I would they were even cut off which trouble you." Gosh, that doesn't sound very nice. But I wonder what Paul meant by "cut off". The New Revised Standard Version translates this verse as: "I wish those who unsettle you would castrate themselves!" 5:12
Witches, idol worshippers, and heretics will not go to heaven. (Guess where they'll be going.) 5:20-21 Philippians
Everyone will have to worship Jesus -- whether they want to or not. 2:10-11
"Beware of dogs ... beware of the concision." I'm not sure who Paul is calling "dogs" here, but it's probably the Jews -- those of "the circumcision," as opposed to Christians, who are of the "true circumcision." 3:2 1 Thessalonians
God is planning a messy, mass murder in "the wrath to come" and only Jesus can save you from it. 1:10
Paul accuses "the Jews" of killing Jesus, persecuting the prophets, displeasing God, and being "contrary to all men." He concludes that the wrath of God will "come upon them to the uttermost. 2:15-16 2 Thessalonians
Jesus will take "vengeance on them that know not God" by burning them forever "in flaming fire." 1:7-9
God will cause us to believe lies so that he can damn our souls to hell. 2:11-12
Shun those who disagree with your interpretation of this epistle. 3:6, 14 1 Timothy
"Hymenaeus and Alexander; whom I have delivered unto Satan, that they may learn not to blaspheme." Apparently (see 2 Tim.2:16-18 and 4:14-15) their "blasphemy" was disagreeing with Paul. 1:20
Stay away from those who discuss important matters -- especially if they disagree with Paul. 6:5
Paul instructs Timothy to avoid science, especially that which disagrees with him ("science falsely so called"). Other versions translate this phrase as "false knowledge", which may be more correct. However many fundamentalist Christians still use this verse ("science falsely so called") to justify their rejection of any idea, scientific or otherwise, they believe contradicts the bible. 6:20 2 Timothy
"If we deny him [Jesus], he will deny us." Fair is fair! 2:12
Shun non-believers and other profane babblers. 2:16
Hymenaeus and Philetus are condemned for disagreeing with Paul about the timing of the resurrection. (See 1 Tim.1:20 and 2 Tim.4:14-15) 2:17-18
"The Lord knoweth them that are his." This verse was used by the Catholic Church during the inquisition to justify killing those suspected of heresy. (Kill them all, for `the Lord knows them that are His'." ) 2:19
God will "reward" Alexander for the "blasphemy" of disagreeing with Paul. (See 1 Tim.1:20 and 2 Tim.2:16-18) 4:14 Titus
Jews are unruly liars "whose mouths must be stopped." 1:10-11
The people of Crete are "always liars, evil beasts, slow bellies." 1:12
Heretics are to be rejected since they are subverted, sinners, and condemned by God. 3:10-11 Hebrews
Every skeptic and nonbeliever has "an evil heart of unbelief." 3:12
It is impossible for fallen-away Christians to be saved. (Didn't the author know about confession or the finality of being saved?) 6:4-6
Those who disobeyed the Old Testament law were killed. It will be much worse for those who displease Jesus. 10:28-29
If you're not a Christian, it's impossible to please God. 11:6
God saved Rahab because she believed. (He killed all the non-believers in Jericho.) 11:31 James
Whoever is a friend of the world is an enemy of God. 4:4 1 Peter
Things may get rough for Christians, but it will really be hell for nonbelievers. 4:17-18 2 Peter
The basic message of Christianity is "believe or be damned" and from this flows intolerance toward all non-Christians. But, as these verses show, Christian intolerance is often directed toward believers as well. Each group of Christians accuses the others of being "false teachers" of "damnable heresies" who will soon be damned to hell. 2:1-3
God drowned everyone else on earth except for Noah and his family. 2:5, 3:6
God knows how to punish those that "despise government." 2:9-10
God will set the entire earth on fire so that he can burn non-believers to death. 3:7 1 John
"Love not the world." 2:15
Every non-Christian is liar and an antichrist. 2:22, 4:2-3
Christians are alive; non-Christians are dead. 5:12
Christians are "of God;" everyone else is wicked. 5:19 2 John
Non-Christians are deceivers and antichrists. 7
"Whosoever ... abideth not in the doctrine of Christ, hath not God." 9
Don't associate with non-Christians. Don't receive them into your house or even exchange greeting with them. 10 Jude
God destroys non-believers. 1:5 Revelation
False Jews are members of "the synagogue of Satan." 2:9
Those who obey God/Jesus until the end will rule everyone else with an iron rod. They'll even get to smash the others into smithereens. 2:26-27
God will make "the synagogue of Satan [that would be the Jews] ... come and worship before thy feet." (Whose feet? Well, the feet of Christians, of course!) 3:9
The martyrs just can't wait until everyone else is slaughtered. God gives them a white robe and tells them to wait until he's done with his killing spree. 6:10-11
144,000 Jews will be going to heaven; everyone else is going to hell. 7:4
The angels are instructed not to "hurt the grass [how could they? He already had all the grass killed in 8:7] ... but only those men which have not the seal of God on their foreheads." God tells his angels not to kill them, but rather torment them with scorpions for five months. Those tormented will want to die, but God won't let them. 9:4-6
Only 144,000 celibate men will be saved. (Those who were not "defiled with women.") 14:1-4
Those who receive the mark of the beast will "drink of the wine of the wrath of God ... and shall be tormented with fire and brimstone ... and the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever." 14:10-11
Whoever isn't found listed in the book of life will be cast into the lake of fire. 20:15
All liars, as well as sorcerers, idolaters, and those who are fearful or unbelieving, will be cast into "the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone." 21:8
"Dogs [homosexuals?], sorcerers, whoremongers, idolaters" and along with anyone who ever told a lie will not enter the heavenly city. 22:15

I didn't really bother to read all of that.
Simply because it was crap children wouldn't understand at the ages you take Sunday School. And plus i don't agree with most of that stuff. (i glanced at a couple of them) Why? Because i beleive in equal treatment among human beings.

**Pastor Al E Pistle** · 01-07-2007, 08:16 AM

Re: Um, Hello.

Originally posted by shaunasaurus View Post

I didn't really bother to read all of that.
Simply because it was crap children wouldn't understand at the ages you take Sunday School. And plus i don't agree with most of that stuff. (i glanced at a couple of them) Why? Because i beleive in equal treatment among human beings.

OK, you are an adult. Can you understand this?

Matthew
Those who bear bad fruit will be cut down and burned "with unquenchable fire." 3:10, 12
Jesus strongly approves of the law and the prophets. He hasn't the slightest objection to the cruelties of the Old Testament. 5:17
Jesus recommends that to avoid sin we cut off our hands and pluck out our eyes. This advice is given immediately after he says that anyone who looks with lust at any women commits adultery. 5:29-30
Jesus says that most people will go to hell. 7:13-14
Those who fail to bear "good fruit" will be "hewn down, and cast into the fire." 7:19
"The children of the kingdom [the Jews] shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 8:12
Jesus tells a man who had just lost his father: "Let the dead bury the dead." 8:21
Jesus sends some devils into a herd of pigs, causing them to run off a cliff and drown in the waters below. 8:32
Cities that neither "receive" the disciples nor "hear" their words will be destroyed by God. It will be worse for them than for Sodom and Gomorrah. And you know what God supposedly did to those poor folks (see Gen.19:24). 10:14-15
Families will be torn apart because of Jesus (this is one of the few "prophecies" in the Bible that has actually come true). "Brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death." 10:21
Jesus says that we should fear God who is willing and "able to destroy both soul and body in hell." 10:28
Jesus says that he has come to destroy families by making family members hate each other. He has "come not to send peace, but a sword." 10:34-36
Jesus condemns entire cities to dreadful deaths and to the eternal torment of hell because they didn't care for his preaching. 11:20-24
Jesus will send his angels to gather up "all that offend" and they "shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth." 13:41-42, 50
Jesus is criticized by the Pharisees for not washing his hands before eating. He defends himself by attacking them for not killing disobedient children according to the commandment: "He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death." (See Ex.21:15, Lev.20:9, Dt.21:18-21) So, does Jesus think that children who curse their parents should be killed? It sure sounds like it. 15:4-7
Jesus advises his followers to mutilate themselves by cutting off their hands and plucking out their eyes. He says it's better to be "maimed" than to suffer "everlasting fire." 18:8-9
"And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors." 18:34
In the parable of the marriage feast, the king sends his servants to gather everyone they can find, both bad and good, to come to the wedding feast. One guest didn't have on his wedding garment, so the king tied him up and "cast him into the outer darkness" where "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 22:12-13
Jesus had no problem with the idea of drowning everyone on earth in the flood. It'll be just like that when he returns. 24:37
God will come when people least expect him and then he'll "cut them asunder." And "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 24:50-51
The servant who kept and returned his master's talent was cast into the "outer darkness" where there will be "weeping and gnashing of teeth." 25:30
Jesus tells us what he has planned for those that he dislikes. They will be cast into an "everlasting fire." 25:41
Jesus says the damned will be tormented forever. 25:46 Mark
Jesus explains why he speaks in parables: to confuse people so they will go to hell. 4:11-12
Jesus sends devils into 2000 pigs, causing them to jump off a cliff and be drowned in the sea. When the people hear about it, they beg Jesus to leave. 5:12-13
Any city that doesn't "receive" the followers of Jesus will be destroyed in a manner even more savage than that of Sodom and Gomorrah. 6:11
Jesus criticizes the Jews for not killing their disobedient children as required by Old Testament law. (See Ex.21:15, Lev.20:9, Dt.21:18-21) 7:9-10
If you're ashamed of Jesus, he'll be ashamed of you. (And you'll go straight to hell.) 8:38
Jesus tells us to cut off our hands and feet, and pluck out our eyes to avoid going to hell. 9:43-49
Jesus says that those that believe and are baptized will be saved, while those who don't will be damned. 16:16 Luke
God strikes Zacharias dumb for doubting the angel Gabriel's words. 1:20
Those who fail to bear "good fruit" will be "hewn down, and cast into the fire." 3:9
John the Baptist says that Christ will burn the damned "with fire unquenchable." 3:17
Jesus heals a naked man who was possessed by many devils by sending the devils into a herd of pigs, causing them to run off a cliff and drown in the sea. This messy, cruel, and expensive (for the owners of the pigs) treatment did not favorably impress the local residents, and Jesus was asked to leave. 8:27-37
Jesus says that entire cities will be violently destroyed and the inhabitants "thrust down to hell" for not "receiving" his disciples. 10:10-15
Jesus says that we should fear God since he has the power to kill us and then torture us forever in hell. 12:5
Jesus says that God is like a slave-owner who beats his slaves "with many stripes." 12:46-47
According to Jesus, only a few will be saved; the vast majority will suffer eternally in hell where "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 13:23-30
In the parable of the rich man and Lazarus, the rich man goes to hell, because as Abraham explains, he had a good life on earth and so now he will be tormented. Whereas Lazarus, who was miserable on earth, is now in heaven. This seems fair to Jesus. 16:19-31
Jesus believed the story of Noah's ark. He thought it really happened and had no problem with the idea of God drowning everything and everybody. 17:26-27
Jesus also believes the story about Noah's flood and Sodom's destruction. He says, "even thus shall it be in the day the son of man is revealed ... Remember Lot's wife." This tells us about Jesus' knowledge of science and history, and his sense of justice. 17:29-32
In the parable of the talents, Jesus says that God takes what is not rightly his, and reaps what he didn't sow. The parable ends with the words of Jesus: "bring them [those who preferred not to be ruled by him] hither, and slay them before me." 19:22-27 John
As an example to parents everywhere and to save the world (from himself), God had his own son tortured and killed. 3:16
People are damned or saved depending only on what they believe. 3:18, 36
The "wrath of God" is on all unbelievers. 3:36
Jesus believes people are crippled by God as a punishment for sin. He tells a crippled man, after healing him, to "sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee." 5:14
Those who do not believe in Jesus will be cast into a fire to be burned. 15:6
Jesus says we must eat his flesh and drink his blood if we want to have eternal life. This idea was just too gross for "many of his disciples" and "walked no more with him." 6:53-66 Acts
Peter claims that Dt.18:18-19 refers to Jesus, saying that those who refuse to follow him (all non-Christians) must be killed. 3:23
Peter and God scare Ananias and his wife to death for not forking over all of the money that they made when selling their land. 5:1-10
Peter has a dream in which God show him "wild beasts, and creeping things, and fowls." The voice (God's?) says, "Rise, Peter: kill and eat." 10:10-13
Peter describes the vision that he had in the last chapter (10:10-13). All kinds of beasts, creeping things, and fowls drop down from the sky in a big sheet, and a voice (God's, Satan's?) tells him to "Arise, Peter; slay and eat." 11:5-6
The "angel of the Lord" killed Herod by having him "eaten of worms" because "he gave not God the glory." 12:23
David was "a man after [God's] own heart." 13:22
The author of Acts talks about the "sure mercies of David." But David was anything but merciful. For an example of his behavior see 2 Sam.12:31 and 1 Chr.20:3, where he saws, hacks, and burns to death the inhabitants of several cities. 13:34
Paul and the Holy Ghost conspire together to make Elymas (the sorcerer) blind. 13:8-11 Romans
Homosexuals (those "without natural affection") and their supporters (those "that have pleasure in them") are "worthy of death." 1:31-32
The guilty are "justified" and "saved from wrath" by the blood of an innocent victim. 5:9
God punishes everyone for someone else's sin; then he saves them by killing an innocent victim. 5:12 1 Corinthians
If you defile the temple of God, God will destroy you. 3:17
Paul claims that God killed 23,000 in a plague for "committing whoredom with the daughters of Moab 10:8
If you tempt Christ (How could you tempt Christ?), you'll will die from snake bites. 10:9
If you murmur, you'll be destroyed by the destroyer (God). 10:10 Ephesians
We are predestined by God to go to either heaven or hell. None of our thoughts, words, or actions can affect the final outcome. 1:4-5, 11
God had his son murdered to keep himself from hurting others for things they didn't do. 1:7
The bloody death of Jesus smelled good to God. 5:2
Those who refuse to obey will face the wrath of God. 5:6 Colossians
God bought us with someone else's blood. 1:14
God makes peace through blood. 1:19-20 1 Thessalonians
God is planning a messy, mass murder in "the wrath to come" and only Jesus can save you from it. 1:10 2 Thessalonians
Jesus will take "vengeance on them that know not God" by burning them forever "in flaming fire." 1:7-9
Jesus will "consume" the wicked "with the spirit of his mouth." 2:8
God will cause us to believe lies so that he can damn our souls to hell. 2:11-12 Hebrews
God will not forgive us unless we shed the blood of some innocent creature. 9:13-14, 22
Those who disobeyed the Old Testament law were killed without mercy. It will be much worse for those who displease Jesus. 10:28-29
God ordered animals to be "stoned, or thrust through with a dart" if they "so much as ... touch the mountain." 12:20 James
If you are merciless to others, God will be merciless to you. (Two wrongs make a right.) 2:13
James says Abraham was justified by works (for being willing to kill his son for God); Paul (Rom.4:2-3) says he was justified by faith (for believing that God would order him to do such an evil act). 2:21 1 Peter
We are all, according to Peter, predestined to be saved or damned. We have no say in the matter. It was all determined by "the sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ."1:2
"The precious blood of Christ ... was foreordained before the foundation of the world."
God planned to kill Jesus from the get-go. 1:19-20
God drowned drowned everyone on earth except for Noah and his family. 3:20 2 Peter
God drowned everyone else on earth except for Noah and his family. 2:5, 3:6
God will set the entire earth on fire so that he can burn non-believers to death. 3:7
When Jesus returns, he'll burn up the whole earth and everything on it. 3:10 1 John
Jesus' blood washes away human sin. 1:7 Jude
"The Lord destroyed them that believed not. 5 Revelation
Jesus "washed us ... with his own blood." 1:5
Everyone on earth will wail because of Jesus. 1:7
Jesus has "the keys of hell and death." 1:18
Repent -- or else Jesus will fight you with the sword that sticks out of his mouth. (Like the limbless knight in Monty Python's "Holy Grail.") 2:16
"I [Jesus] will kill her children with death." 2:23
"Thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created." God created predators, pathogens, and predators for his very own pleasure. One of his favorite species is guinea worms. 4:11
God gives someone on a white horse a bow and sends him out to conquer people. 6:2
God gave power to someone on a red horse "to take from the earth ... that they should kill one another." 6:4
God tells Death and Hell to kill one quarter of the earth's population with the sword, starvation, and "with the beasts of the earth." 6:8
The martyrs just can't wait until everyone else is slaughtered. God gives them a white robe and tells them to wait until he's done with his killing spree. 6:10-11
God tells his murderous angels to "hurt not the earth, neither the sea, nor the trees, till we have sealed the servants of your God on their foreheads." This verse is one that Christians like to use to show God's loving concern for the environment. But the previous verse (7:2) makes it clear that it was their God-given job to "hurt the earth and the sea" just as soon as they finished their forehead marking job. 7:3
144,000 Jews will be going to heaven; everyone else is going to hell. 7:4
Those that survive the great tribulation will get to wash their clothes in the blood of the lamb. 7:14
God sends his angels to destroy a third part of all the trees, grass, sea creature, mountains, sun, moon, starts, and water. 8:7-13
"Many men died of the waters, because they were made bitter." 8:11
The angels are instructed not to "hurt the grass [how could they? He already had all the grass killed in 8:7] ... but only those men which have not the seal of God on their foreheads." God tells his angels not to kill them, but rather torment them with scorpions for five months. Those tormented will want to die, but God won't let them. 9:4-6
God makes some horse-like locusts with human heads, women's hair, lion's teeth, and scorpion's tails. They sting people and hurt them for five months. 9:7-10
Four angels, with an army of 200 million, killed a third of the earth's population. 9:15-19
Anyone that messes with God's two olive trees and two candlesticks (God's witnesses) will be burned to death by fire that comes out of their mouths. 11:3-5
God's witnesses have special powers. They can shut up heaven so that it cannot rain, turn rivers into blood, and smite the earth with plagues "as often as they will." 11:6
After God's witnesses "have finished their testimony," they are killed in a war with a beast from a bottomless pit. 11:7
Their dead bodies lie unburied for three and a half days. People will "rejoice over them and make merry, and shall send gifts to one another." After another three and half days God brings his witnesses back to life and they ascend into heaven. 11:8-12
When the witnesses ascend into heaven, an earthquake kills 7000 men. This was the second woe. "The third woe cometh quickly." 11:13-14
"The Lamb slain from the foundation of the world"
God planned to kill Jesus before he created the world. 13:8
Those who receive the mark of the beast will "drink of the wine of the wrath of God ... and shall be tormented with fire and brimstone ... and the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever." 14:10-11
"The great winepress of the wrath of God ... was trodden ... and the blood cam out of the winepress, even unto the horses bridles." 14:19-20
Seven angels with seven plagues are filled with the wrath of God. 15:1, 15:7
The seven vials of wrath: 1) sores, 2) sea turned to blood, 3) rivers turned to blood, 4) people scorched with fire, 5) people gnaw their tongues in pain, 6) Euphrates dries up, 7) thunder, lightning, earthquake, and hail. 16:1-21
God gave the saints and prophets blood to drink. 16:6
"They shall eat her flesh and burn her with fire." (Are they going to eat her first and then burn her?) 17:16-17
To punish her God will send plagues and famine, and "she will be utterly burned with fire." 18:8
God will send plagues, death, and famine on Babylon, and the kings "who have committed fornication with her" will be sad to see her burn. 18:8-9
Jesus makes war. 19:11
With eyes aflame, many crowns on his head, clothes dripping with blood, a sword sticking out of his mouth, and a secret name, Jesus leads the faithful into holy war. 19:12-15
"Come ... unto the supper of the great God." An angel calls all the fowls to feast upon the flesh of dead horses and human bodies, "both free and bond, both small and great." 19:17-18
The beast and the false prophet are cast alive into a lake of fire. The rest were killed with the sword of Jesus. "And all the fowls were filled with their flesh." 19:20-21
God will send fire from heaven to devour people. And the devil will be tormented "day and night for ever and ever." 20:9-10
Whoever isn't found listed in the book of life will be cast into the lake of fire. 20:15
All liars, as well as those who are fearful or unbelieving, will be cast into "the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone." 21:8

**Pastor Al E Pistle** · 01-07-2007, 08:18 AM

Re: Um, Hello.

Can you understand THIS?

Matthew
While insulting the Pharisees and Sadducees, John the Baptist calls an entire generation a "generation of vipers." 3:7
Those who bear bad fruit will be cut down and burned "with unquenchable fire." 3:10, 12
Jesus strongly approves of the law and the prophets. He hasn't the slightest objection to the cruelties of the Old Testament. 5:17
"If ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
Fair is fair! 6:15
Jesus recommends that to avoid sin we cut off our hands and pluck out our eyes. This advice is given immediately after he says that anyone who looks with lust at any women commits adultery. 5:29-30
Jesus says that most people will go to hell. 7:13-14
Those who fail to bear "good fruit" will be "hewn down, and cast into the fire." 7:19
"My servant lieth at home sick."
Here was the perfect opportunity for Jesus to condemn slavery. All he'd have to do is say, "OK, I'll heal him. But then you must set your slave free, because slavery is an abomination to God." 8:5-9
"the children of the kingdom [the Jews] shall be cast out into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 8:12
Jesus tells a man who had just lost his father: "Let the dead bury the dead." 8:21
Jesus sends some devils into a herd of pigs, causing them to run off a cliff and drown in the waters below. 8:32
Jesus tells his disciples to keep away from the Gentiles and Samaritans, and go only to the Israelites. 10:5-6
Cities that neither "receive" the disciples nor "hear" their words will be destroyed by God. It will be worse for them than for Sodom and Gomorrah. And you know what God supposedly did to those poor folks (see Gen.19:24). 10:14-15
Families will be torn apart because of Jesus (this is one of the few "prophecies" in the Bible that has actually come true). "Brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death." 10:21
Jesus says that we should fear God who is willing and "able to destroy both soul and body in hell." 10:28
"Whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven." 10:33
Jesus says that he has come to destroy families by making family members hate each other. He has "come not to send peace, but a sword." 10:34-36
Jesus warns us not to love our parents or children too much. We have to make sure that we always love him (who we don't even know existed) more than our family. 10:37
Jesus condemns entire cities to dreadful deaths and to the eternal torment of hell because they didn't care for his preaching. 11:20-24
When Jesus' mother and brothers want to see him, Jesus rudely asks, "Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?" So much for Jesus' family values. 12:47-49
Jesus explains that the reason he speaks in parables is so that no one will understand him, "lest ... they ... should understand ... and should be converted, and I should heal them." 13:10-15
"For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath." Isn't this from the Republican Party platform? 13:12
Jesus will send his angels to gather up "all that offend" and they "shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth." 13:41-42, 50
Jesus is criticized by the Pharisees for not washing his hands before eating. He defends himself by attacking them for not killing disobedient children according to the commandment: "He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death." (See Ex.21:15, Lev.20:9, Dt.21:18-21) So, does Jesus think that children who curse their parents should be killed? It sure sounds like it. 15:4-7
Jesus refuses to heal the Canaanite woman's possessed daughter, saying "it is not meet to take the children's bread, and to cast it to the dogs." 15:22-26
"Whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it."
If you want to stay alive, you must lose your life (kill yourself?) for Jesus' sake. 16:25
Jesus condemns the whole world, saying "Woe unto the world because of offenses." 18:7
Jesus advises his followers to mutilate themselves by cutting off their hands and plucking out their eyes. He says it's better to be "maimed" than to suffer "everlasting fire." 18:8-9
In the parable of the unforgiving servant, the king threatens to enslave a man and his entire family to pay for a debt. This practice, which was common at the time, seems not to have bothered Jesus very much. 18:25
"And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors." 18:34
Rich people don't go to heaven. For as Jesus says, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. 19:23
Abandon your wife and children for Jesus and he'll give you a big reward. 19:29
In the parable of the marriage feast, the king sends his servants to gather everyone they can find, both bad and good, to come to the wedding feast. One guest didn't have on his wedding garment, so the king tied him up and "cast him into the outer darkness" where "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 22:12-13
Jesus condemns the Jews for being "the children of them which killed the prophets." 23:31
Jesus blames his the Jews (who were then living) for "all the righteous blood" from Abel to Zecharias, 23:35
Jesus had no problem with the idea of drowning everyone on earth in the flood. It'll be just like that when he returns. 24:37
God will come when people least expect him and then he'll "cut them asunder." And "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 24:50-51
Jesus will give to those who already have and take from those who have nothing. He must've been a republican. 25:29
The servant who kept and returned his master's talent was cast into the "outer darkness" where there will be "weeping and gnashing of teeth." 25:30
Jesus tells us what he has planned for those that he dislikes. They will be cast into an "everlasting fire." 25:41
Jesus says the damned will be tormented forever. 25:46
"His blood be on us, and on our children." This verse blames the Jews for the death of Jesus and has been used to justify their persecution for twenty centuries. 27:25 Mark
Jesus becomes angry at those who said that he had "an unclean spirit," so he announces the unforgivable sin: "blasphemy against the Holy Ghost." 3:29
Jesus explains why he speaks in parables: to confuse people so they will go to hell. 4:11-12
"For he that hath, to him shall be given: and he that hath not, from him shall be taken even that which he hath." -- The US Republican Party motto 4:25
Jesus sends the devils into 2000 pigs, causing them to jump off a cliff and be drowned in the sea. When the people hear about it, they beg Jesus to leave. 5:12-13
Any city that doesn't "receive" the followers of Jesus will be destroyed in a manner even more savage than that of Sodom and Gomorrah. 6:11
Jesus criticizes the Jews for not killing their disobedient children as required by Old Testament law. (See Ex.21:15, Lev.20:9, Dt.21:18-21) 7:9-10
Jesus initially refuses to cast out a devil from a Syrophoenician woman's daughter, calling the woman a "dog". After much pleading, he finally agrees to cast out the devil. 7:27
If you're ashamed of Jesus, he'll be ashamed of you. (And you'll go straight to hell.) 8:38
Jesus gets mad at his disciples for failing to cast out a devil and says, "O faithless generation, how long shall I be with you? how long shall I suffer you? 9:19
Jesus tells us to cut off our hands and feet, and pluck out our eyes to avoid going to hell. 9:43-49
Jesus says that rich people cannot go to heaven. For "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. 10:25
Jesus will reward men who abandon their wives and families. 10:29-30
In the last days God will make things especially rough on pregnant women. 13:17
Jesus says that those that believe and are baptized will be saved, while those who don't will be damned. 16:16 Luke
God strikes Zacharias dumb for doubting the angel Gabriel's words. 1:20
"How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?"
Just a few verses earlier (1:17-20), Zacharias is struck dumb for doubting his wife's angel-assisted pregnancy. Why wasn't Mary punished for her disbelief? 1:34-35
Those who fail to bear "good fruit" will be "hewn down, and cast into the fire." 3:9
"Be content with your wages" -- no matter how unjust they may be. 3:14
John the Baptist says that Christ will burn the damned "with fire unquenchable." 3:17
Peter and his partners (James and John) abandon their wives and children to follow Jesus. 5:11
Jesus says that people who are rich, well-fed, happy, or respected are going to hell. 6:24-26
"That he would come and heal his servant"
Here was the perfect opportunity for Jesus to condemn slavery. All he'd have to do is say, "OK, I'll heal him. But then you must set your slave free, because slavery is an abomination to God." 7:2-10
Jesus says that he speaks in parables so "that seeing they might not see, and hearing they might not understand." 8:10
Jesus, when told that his mother and brothers want to see him, ignores and insults them by saying that his mother and brothers are those who hear the word of God and do it. 8:20-21
Jesus heals a naked man who was possessed by many devils by sending the devils into a herd of pigs, causing them to run off a cliff and drown in the sea. This messy, cruel, and expensive (for the owners of the pigs) treatment did not favorably impress the local residents, and Jesus was asked to leave. 8:27-37
Jesus speaks harshly to his disciples because they couldn't cure epilepsy by casting out devils. 9:41
Jesus says that entire cities will be violently destroyed and the inhabitants "thrust down to hell" for not "receiving" his disciples. 10:10-15
Jesus blames all the deaths of the prophets [from Abel(?) to Zacharias] on his generation. 11:47-50
Jesus says that we should fear God since he has the power to kill us and then torture us forever in hell. 12:5
Those who "blaspheme against the Holy Ghost" will never be forgiven. 12:10
Jesus says that God is like a slave-owner who beats his slaves "with many stripes." 12:46-47
Jesus calls the people hypocrites because they cannot "discern this time." 12:56
According to Jesus, only a few will be saved; the vast majority will suffer eternally in hell where "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth." 13:23-30
Jesus says that his disciples must hate their families (mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, children) and themselves. 14:26
If you want to be a disciple of Jesus, you must abandon everything, including your family. 14:33
In the parable of the rich man and Lazarus, the rich man goes to hell, because as Abraham explains, he had a good life on earth and so now he will be tormented. Whereas Lazarus, who was miserable on earth, is now in heaven. This seems fair to Jesus. 16:19-31
Jesus believed the story of Noah's ark. He thought it really happened and had no problem with the idea of God drowning everything and everybody. 17:26-27
Jesus also believes the story about Noah's flood and Sodom's destruction. He says, "even thus shall it be in the day the son of man is revealed ... Remember Lot's wife." This tells us about Jesus' knowledge of science and history, and his sense of justice. 17:29-32
Rich people cannot go to heaven. "For it is easier for a camel to go through a needle's eye, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God." 18:25
In the parable of the talents, Jesus says that God takes what is not rightly his, and reaps what he didn't sow. The parable ends with the words of Jesus: "bring them [those who preferred not to be ruled by him] hither, and slay them before me." 19:22-27 John
As an example to parents everywhere and to save the world (from himself), God had his own son tortured and killed. 3:16
People are damned or saved depending only on what they believe. 3:18, 36
The "wrath of God" is on all unbelievers. 3:36
Jesus believes people are crippled by God as a punishment for sin. He tells a crippled man, after healing him, to "sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee." 5:14
Jesus tells his family that he wasn't going to the feast, but later goes "in secret." 7:8-10
If you don't believe in Jesus, you will "die in your sins" (and then go to hell). 8:24
Jesus calls his opponents (the Jews) the sons of the devil. 8:44
The disciples ask Jesus about the cause of a man's blindness. Was it because he or his parents sinned? Jesus said neither had sinned. The man was born blind so that Jesus could show off his powers by curing him of his blindness. 9:1-3
Jesus says that he has come to make people blind. 9:39
"All that ever came before me are thieves and robbers." All the prophets, kings, and heroes of the Old Testament; everyone that ever lived before him was a thief and a robber. 10:8
Lararus must suffer and die so that Jesus can "be glorified" by raising him from the dead. 11:4
Mary wastes expensive ointment on Jesus' feet, rather than selling the ointment and giving the money to the poor. But Jesus thinks his feet are more important, saying that poor people will always be around, but he and his precious feet won't be. (According to the New Oxford Annotated Bible, 300 denarii would be nearly a year's wage for a laborer.) 12:3-8
You must hate your life in order to keep it. (If you love your life, you'll go to hell after you die.) 12:25
The reason people didn't believe in Jesus was that God had "blinded their eyes, and hardened their heart." God did this so that they would not "understand with their heart, and be converted." This way God could damn more people to hell. 12:40
If you don't believe in Jesus you are going to hell. 12:48
Jesus is the only way to heaven. All other religions lead to hell. 14:6
"He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father."
If you follow Jesus' teachings, God will love you -- otherwise... well, you know. 14:21
Those who do not believe in Jesus will be cast into a fire to be burned. 15:6
Now that Jesus has come, non-believers have no excuse for not believing in him. 15:22 Acts
Peter blames the Jews for the death of Jesus. 3:14-15
Peter claims that Dt.18:18-19 refers to Jesus, saying that those who refuse to follow him (all nonchristians) must be killed. 3:23
God will torture forever those who don't know the password to heaven. 4:12
Peter and God scare Ananias and his wife to death for not forking over all of the money that they made when selling their land. 5:1-10
Once again, Peter accuses the Jews of murdering Jesus. 5:30
Stephen blames the Jews for persecuting the prophets and murdering Jesus. 7:51-52
The Jews are again blamed for the death of Jesus. 10:39
The "angel of the Lord" killed Herod by having him "eaten of worms" because "he gave not God the glory." 12:23
Paul and the Holy Ghost conspire together to make Elymas (the sorcerer) blind. 13:8-11
The author of Acts brags about God destroying "seven nations of the land of Canaan." 13:19
God chooses those who will believe [the right things], and only they will go to heaven. 13:48
If you "believe on the Lord Jesus Christ," then you and your whole family will be saved; otherwise, God will send you all to hell. 16:30-31
"And when they [the Jews of Corinth] opposed themselves, and blasphemed, he [Paul] shook his raiment, and said unto them, Your blood be upon your own heads." (Have a nice day?) 18:6 Romans
"The wrath of God" is on all unbelievers. 1:18-20
The existence and nature of God are self-evident; thus, unbelievers are "without excuse." 1:20
God abandons those who don't know him to "uncleanness and vile affections." 1:24, 26, 28
With his usual intolerance, Paul condemns homosexuals (including lesbians). This is the only clear reference to lesbians in the Bible. 1:26-28
Homosexuals (those "without natural affection") and their supporters (those "that have pleasure in them") are "worthy of death." 1:31-32
Paul asks the very good question: "Is there unrighteousness who taketh vengeance [upon innocent people]?" The obvious answer to this is, yes. 3:5
Paul says that those who accuse him of lying deserve damnation. 3:8
The guilty are "justified" and "saved from wrath" by the blood of an innocent victim. 5:9
God punishes everyone for someone else's sin; then he saves them by killing an innocent victim. 5:12
God gave the law so "that the offence might abound." 5:20
Everyone is predestined by God to be either saved or damned; they can do nothing to affect their final destiny. 8:29-30
No one can oppose Christians since God is on their side. 8:31
"He that spareth not his own son" shouldn't be trusted by anyone. 8:32
A Christian cannot be accused of any wrongdoing. 8:33
God makes some people that are destined to go to heaven and others that will go to hell. There is nothing that they can do to change the will of God. Paul says that this is how it should be, saying: "What if God, willing to show his wrath, and to make his power known" damns most of mankind to eternal torments of hell for things they either didn't do or couldn't avoid doing? 9:11-22
"Esau have I hated." 9:13
"What shall be say then? Is their unrighteousness with God?" It sure looks like it! 9:14-22
"Therefore hath he mercy on whom he will have mercy, and whom he will he hardeneth." 9:18
God blinded the Jews so they wouldn't recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 11:7-10
"The powers that be are ordained of God." Whoever resists them will be damned. 13:1-4
"He that doubteth is damned ... Whosoever is not of faith is sin." 14:23
Shun those who disagree with your religious views. 16:17 1 Corinthians
"I [God] will destroy the wisdom of the wise." 1:19
Christians can judge everything and everybody, but no non-Christian can judge them. 2:15
If you defile the temple of God, God will destroy you. 3:17
Paul, judging from rumors alone, complains that there are fornicators among his followers in Corinth; he is even worried that some have had sex with their fathers' wives. He says that those who have done these things should be "delivered to Satan for the destruction of the flesh" so that their soul can be saved. 5:1-5
A believer should not sue another believer in court. 6:1-7
"Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world?" 6:2
Paul lists ten things that will keep you out of heaven, including homosexuality and being "effeminate." 6:9-10
Slaves should not desire their freedom. 7:21
Everything is lawful to Paul, and he submits himself to no law. 6:12, 10:23
Paul quotes Dt.25:4, "Thou shalt not muzzle the mouth of the ox that treadeth out the corn." That sounds like a nice humane law. Until Paul explains it, that is. He asks, "Does God care about oxen?", and then answers his own rhetorical question by saying, "Hell no. The law is for our sakes." 9:9-10
Paul claims that God killed 23,000 in a plague for "committing whoredom with the daughters of Moab 10:8
If you tempt Christ (How could you tempt Christ?), you'll die from snake bites. 10:9
If you murmur, you'll be destroyed by the destroyer (God). 10:10
Those that "eateth and drinketh unworthily" will go to hell. 11:27
Women are commanded by Paul to be silent in church and to be obedient to men. He further says that "if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in church." 14:34-35
Those who don't love Jesus are to be "anathema" (damned). 16:22 2 Corinthians
All non-Christians are blind. They were blinded by God to prevent them from seeing the truth. 3:14-16
"The god of this world" has blinded the minds of nonbelievers. 4:3-4
Jesus, who was without sin, was made into sin. This made the real sinners sinless. 5:21
Keep away from unbelievers. Neither marry nor be friends with them. 6:14-17
Paul set an example for televangelists by robbing some churches. 11:8
"Being crafty, I [Paul] caught you with guile." 12:16
Paul says he "will not spare" when he comes back to punish those who have sinned. 13:2
Are you a reprobate? Here's the test: if you know for sure that Jesus is in you, you're not a reprobate. Otherwise you are. 13:5 Galatians
If anyone dares to disagree with Paul on religious matters, "let him be accursed." 1:8-9
Those who try to follow the law are cursed 3:10
Witches, idol worshippers, and heretics will not go to heaven. (Guess where they'll be going.) 5:20-21 Ephesians
We are predestined by God to go to either heaven or hell. None of our thoughts, words, or actions can affect the final outcome. 1:4-5, 11
God had his son murdered to keep himself from hurting others for things they didn't do. 1:7
We are by nature "the children of wrath." 2:3
Those who engage in "foolish talking" or "jesting" will not go to heaven. (Guess where they will be going.) 5:4-5
No "unclean person" or "idolater" will inherit the kingdom of God. (They'll all be going to hell.) 5:5
Slaves must obey their masters "as unto Christ." 6:5 Philippians
Everyone will have to worship Jesus -- whether they want to or not. 2:10-11 Colossians
God bought us with someone else's blood. 1:14
God makes peace through blood. 1:19-20
Children should obey their parents "in all things." This verse must be a favorite for Christian parents who abuse their children. 3:20
"Servants, obey in all things your masters." 3:22
It's okay to own slaves, but you should try to treat them well. 4:1 1 Thessalonians
The elect and the damned are predestined by God. 1:4
God is planning a messy, mass murder in "the wrath to come" and only Jesus can save you from it. 1:10
Paul accuses "the Jews" of killing Jesus, persecuting the prophets, displeasing God, and being "contrary to all men." He concludes that the wrath of God will "come upon them to the uttermost. 2:15-16 2 Thessalonians
Jesus will take "vengeance on them that know not God" by burning them forever "in flaming fire." 1:7-9
God will cause us to believe lies so that he can damn our souls to hell. 2:11-12
God selects those who are to be saved (or damned) "from the beginning." It therefore makes no difference how good, kind, honest, or loving we may be; if god hasn't chosen us, we will be damned. 2:13
Shun those who disagree with your interpretation of this epistle. 3:6, 14
Those who will not or cannot work should starve to death. 3:10 1 Timothy
"Hymenaeus and Alexander; whom I have delivered unto Satan, that they may learn not to blaspheme." Apparently (see 2 Tim.2:16-18 and 4:14-15) their "blasphemy" was disagreeing with Paul. 1:20
Real widows are "desolate" and pray "night and day." But those widows that experience pleasure are "dead while [they] live." 5:5-6
You should help a widow only if she 1) is over 60 years old, 2) had only one husband, 3) has raised children, 4) has lodged strangers, 5) has "washed the saints feet," 6) has relieved the afflicted, and 7) has "diligently followed very good work." Otherwise, let them starve. "But the younger widows refuse [to help]: for ... they will marry; having damnation." Besides the young widows are always idle tattlers -- "busybodies, spreading things which they ought not." He adds that "some are already turned aside after Satan." 5:9-15
Publicly humiliate those who sin by announcing their sins in front of God and everybody so "that others may also fear." 5:20
"Let as many servants as are under the yoke count their own masters worthy of all honour, that the name of God and his doctrine be not blasphemed." 6:1 2 Timothy
God selected us to be either saved or damned, and there isn't a damned thing we can do about it. 1:9
"If we deny him [Jesus], he will deny us." Fair is fair! 2:12
Shun non-believers and other profane babblers. 2:16
Hymenaeus and Philetus are condemned for disagreeing with Paul about the timing of the resurrection. (See 1 Tim.1:20 and 2 Tim.4:14-15) 2:17-18
The devil can take us captive any time he pleases. 2:26
God will "reward" Alexander for the "blasphemy" of disagreeing with Paul. (See 1 Tim.1:20 and 2 Tim.2:16-18) 4:14 Titus
Jews are unruly liars "whose mouths must be stopped." 1:10-11
The people of Crete are "always liars, evil beasts, slow bellies." 1:12
Slaves must obey their masters and "please them well in all things ... showing all good fidelity." 2:9-10
Heretics are to be rejected since they are subverted, sinners, and condemned by God. 3:10-11 Philemon
Paul returns the runaway slave, Onesimus, to his "rightful owner", Philemon. This was, of course, a great opportunity for Paul (and God) to condemn slavery -- if he (and God) had anything against it, that is. But he doesn't. Instead he returns the slave to his owner without a word against the institution of slavery. 1:12 Hebrews
Every skeptic and nonbeliever has "an evil heart of unbelief." 3:12
It is impossible for fallen-away Christians to be saved. (Didn't the author know about confession or the finality of being saved?) 6:4-6
God will not forgive us unless we shed the blood of some innocent creature. 9:13-14, 22
Those who disobeyed the Old Testament law were killed without mercy. It will be much worse for those who displease Jesus. 10:28-29
Try to stay away from God because " it is a fearful thing to fall into" his hands. 10:31
If you're not a Christian, it's impossible to please God. 11:6
God saved Rahab because she believed. (He killed all the non-believers in Jericho.) 11:31
God always hurts the ones he loves. And if God doesn't hurt you, they you are a bastard, not a son. 12:6-8
God ordered animals to be "stoned, or thrust through with a dart" if they "so much as ... touch the mountain." 12:20 James
If you "keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, "you are guilty of all." 2:10
If you are merciless to others, God will be merciless to you. (Two wrongs make a right.) 2:13
James says Abraham was justified by works (for being willing to kill his son for God); Paul (Rom.4:2-3) says he was justified by faith (for believing that God would order him to do such an evil act). 2:21
If your prayers are not answered, it's your own damned fault. 4:3
Whoever is a friend of the world is an enemy of God. 4:4 1 Peter
We are all, according to Peter, predestined to be saved or damned. We have no say in the matter. It was all determined by "the sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ."1:2
"Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man."
Even unjust laws and dictators? 2:13
According to Peter, kings reign by divine right and everyone, therefore, should "honor the king." 2:17
God drowned drowned everyone on earth except for Noah and his family. 3:20
Things may get rough for Christians, but it will really be hell for nonbelievers. 4:17-18 2 Peter
God drowned everyone else on earth except for Noah and his family. 2:5, 3:6
Lot, who in Gen.19:8 offers his two virgin daughters to a crowd of angel rapers and later (19:30-38) impregnates them, was a "righteous man." 2:8
God knows how to punish those that "despise government." 2:9-10
God will set the entire earth on fire so that he can burn non-believers to death. 3:7
When Jesus returns, he'll burn up the whole earth and everything on it. 3:10 1 John
Every non-Christian is liar and an antichrist. 2:22, 4:2-3
Christians are alive; non-Christians are dead. 5:12
Christians are "of God;" everyone else is wicked. 5:19 3 John
John says he "will remember his [Diotrephes] deeds ... pratting against us with malicious words." 1:10 Jude
God pre-ordained that certain "ungodly" men would deny Jesus. 1:4
God destroys non-believers. 1:5 Revelation
Everyone on earth will "wail because of him [Jesus]. 1:7
False Jews are members of "the synagogue of Satan." 2:9
"I [Jesus] will kill her children with death." 2:23
Those who obey God/Jesus until the end will rule everyone else with an iron rod. They'll even get to smash the others into smithereens. 2:26-27
God will make "the synagogue of Satan [that would be the Jews] ... come and worship before thy feet." (Whose feet? Well, the feet of Christians, of course!) 3:9
"Thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created." God created predators, pathogens, and predators for his very own pleasure. One of his favorite species is guinea worms. 4:11
God gives someone on a white horse a bow and sends him out to conquer people. 6:2
God gave power to someone on a red horse "to take from the earth ... that they should kill one another." 6:4
God tells Death and Hell to kill one quarter of the earth's population with the sword, starvation, and "with the beasts of the earth." 6:8
The martyrs just can't wait until everyone else is slaughtered. God gives them a white robe and tells them to wait until he's done with his killing spree. 6:10-11
God tells his murderous angels to "hurt not the earth, neither the sea, nor the trees, till we have sealed the servants of your God on their foreheads." This verse is one that Christians like to use to show God's loving concern for the environment. But the previous verse (7:2) makes it clear that it was their God-given job to "hurt the earth and the sea" just as soon as they finished their forehead marking job. 7:3
God sends his angels to destroy a third part of all the trees, grass, sea creature, mountains, sun, moon, starts, and water. 8:7-13
"Many men died of the waters, because they were made bitter." 8:11
The angels are instructed not to "hurt the grass [how could they? He already had all the grass killed in 8:7] ... but only those men which have not the seal of God on their foreheads." God tells his angels not to kill them, but rather torment them with scorpions for five months. Those tormented will want to die, but God won't let them. 9:4-6
God makes some horse-like locusts with human heads, women's hair, lion's teeth, and scorpion's tails. They sting people and hurt them for five months. 9:7-10
Four angels, with an army of 200 million, killed a third of the earth's population. 9:15-19
Anyone that messes with God's two olive trees and two candlesticks (God's witnesses) will be burned to death by fire that comes out of their mouths. 11:3-5
God's witnesses have special powers. They can shut up heaven so that it cannot rain, turn rivers into blood, and smite the earth with plagues "as often as they will." 11:6
When the witnesses ascend into heaven, an earthquake kills 7000 men. This was the second woe. "The third woe cometh quickly." 11:13-14
The devil, after he is expelled from heaven, is sent down to earth to wreak havoc on its inhabitants. 12:12
Only 144,000 celibate men will be saved. (Those who were not "defiled with women.") 14:1-4
Those who receive the mark of the beast will "drink of the wine of the wrath of God ... and shall be tormented with fire and brimstone ... and the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever." 14:10-11
Seven angels with seven plagues are filled with the wrath of God. 15:1, 15:7
The seven vials of wrath: 1) sores, 2) sea turned to blood, 3) rivers turned to blood, 4) people scorched with fire, 5) people gnaw their tongues in pain, 6) Euphrates dries up, 7) thunder, lightning, earthquake, and hail. 16:1-21
Christians will fight in the war between Jesus and those allied with the beast. 17:14
Jesus makes war. 19:11
With eyes aflame, many crowns on his head, clothes dripping with blood, a sword sticking out of his mouth, and a secret name, Jesus leads the faithful into holy war. 19:12-15
"Come ... unto the supper of the great God." An angel calls all the fowls to feast upon the flesh of dead horses and human bodies, "both free and bond, both small and great." 19:17-18
The beast and the false prophet are cast alive into a lake of fire. The rest were killed with the sword of Jesus. "And all the fowls were filled with their flesh." 19:20-21
When the thousand years are over, God will send Satan to deceive us all. 20:7-8
God will send fire from heaven to devour people. And the devil will be tormented "day and night for ever and ever." 20:9-10
Whoever isn't found listed in the book of life will be cast into the lake of fire. 20:15
All liars, as well as those who are fearful or unbelieving, will be cast into "the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone." 21:8
"Dogs [homosexuals?], sorcerers, whoremongers, idolaters" and along with anyone who ever told a lie will not enter the heavenly city. 22:15

**Pastor Ezekiel** · 01-07-2007, 08:19 AM

Re: Um, Hello.

Originally posted by shaunasaurus View Post

As a pastor arn't you supposed to share the love of God with people?
Instead of degrading them?
And pushing away their beliefs and shoving your's down their throats?
He isn't mocking God, but you seem to be, by being very cruel. God only wants love among people, and wants to give love to his billions of children as well.
Just because someone is different from you does not mean they are spawn of Satan, it just means they are different, but God still loves them.
And didn't we learn way back in 1st grade to not bother with differences and just love one another? And we learned that in Sunday School too, didn't we.

You are clearly confused about what the Bible actually says, which means you were brainwashed by years of false Christian indoctrination. You think Jesus is going to return to earth and throw a pink tea party, right? Let's all be nice to the nigras and chinks, right? Well listen up, and listen good. God is NOT about love. At least not in the way YOU think of it. god loves those who love Him.

There are plenty of things that God hates. If you had ever actually read the ENTIRE Bible, you would know that. Here are just a few.

Proverbs 6
[16] These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
[17] A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
[18] An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
[19] A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

Let me ask you something; Do you hate your parents? Do you hate yourself? Jesus commands that you do, so you'd better get with the program girl.

Luke 14:26 If any [man] come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

I'll bet those Methodless folks left that part of the Word of God out of Sunday school, right? They taught you that the Bible is like a salad bar, you get to pick and choose what you like and just ignore the rest. Well Jesus tells us that all such false Christians are doomed to hell for that very way of thinking:

"one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law" - Matthew 5:18

Time to ask Jesus to re-think your false ideas. God loves those who He has washed clean of sin with the sweet blood of His only begotten son, Jesus. God does not love false prophets like those at your cult. Turn your back on the false Christians who are dragging you down into the cesspool they inhabit. Don't condemn yourself to an eternity in hellfire!

Whosoever would not seek the LORD God of Israel should be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman. - Chronicles 15:13

**Pastor Al E Pistle** · 01-07-2007, 08:20 AM

Re: Um, Hello.

This is the Bible, Missy. It isn't what you lukewrm pseudo-Christians WANT to believe. It is GOD'S WORD, right there in black and white.

**Brother Love** · 01-07-2007, 02:33 PM

Re: Um, Hello.

How is one a Presbyterian and a Buddhist at the same time? Don't bother answering me friend because I ALREADY know those Presbyterians accept all kinds of FALSE DOCTRINE into their churches and beliefs just like the Cathylicks do.

As for the Bible, it SAYS what it MEANS and it MEANS what is SAYS!!

Now about your name, "Grinder." That's a pretty homer name I think! How many more HOMERSEXUALS are we going to get at LBC anyway?

**SalvationSeeker** · 01-07-2007, 02:36 PM

Re: Um, Hello.

Originally posted by Brother Love View Post

How many more HOMERSEXUALS are we going to get at LBC anyway?

I don't know, but I share your concern, the homers seem to believe that we will bless them like the false churches of satan..

Well, that's not going to happen, homers!
God HATES you, and we cannot bless what God has cursed!

As for their numbers, it is as they say, brother Love..
Just one homersexual is always too many.

**Mrs. Mary Whitford** · 01-07-2007, 10:31 PM

Re: Um, Hello.

Originally posted by Brother Love View Post

How is one a Presbyterian and a Buddhist at the same time? Don't bother answering me friend because I ALREADY know those Presbyterians accept all kinds of FALSE DOCTRINE into their churches and beliefs just like the Cathylicks do.

As for the Bible, it SAYS what it MEANS and it MEANS what is SAYS!!

Now about your name, "Grinder." That's a pretty homer name I think! How many more HOMERSEXUALS are we going to get at LBC anyway?

Back when I was an unsaved nun, unnatural desires ran rampant through the women in the convent. It's bad enough that we were sinful papists, but without Jesus or the loving hand of a non-pederast man to guide us, sin was all around us!
Luckily my fall into this degradation only lasted about seven months before I started realizing that it was wrong! WRONG! It took many years of constant prayer to open my eyes and to leave that den on iniquity in search of a real church full of Bible-believing True Christians!

**Talitha** · 01-07-2007, 10:36 PM

Re: Um, Hello.

Originally posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post

Back when I was an unsaved nun, unnatural desires ran rampant through the women in the convent. It's bad enough that we were sinful papists, but without Jesus or the loving hand of a non-pederast man to guide us, sin was all around us!
Luckily my fall into this degradation only lasted about seven months before I started realizing that it was wrong! WRONG! It took many years of constant prayer to open my eyes and to leave that den on iniquity in search of a real church full of Bible-believing True Christians!

The DOF are presently getting hold of your Files to see if your story is true. So far, only one picture has come through.
Tell me child, is this you in the Photograph?

Menfolk, avert your eyes...........

**Pastor Ezekiel** · 01-08-2007, 02:22 AM

Re: Um, Hello.

Originally posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post

Back when I was an unsaved nun, unnatural desires ran rampant through the women in the convent. It's bad enough that we were sinful papists, but without Jesus or the loving hand of a non-pederast man to guide us, sin was all around us!
Luckily my fall into this degradation only lasted about seven months before I started realizing that it was wrong! WRONG! It took many years of constant prayer to open my eyes and to leave that den on iniquity in search of a real church full of Bible-believing True Christians!

Ex-sister Mary; I don't suppose you have any video footage of these "unnatural desires" that you wallowed in during your years as a young, nublie mary-worshiping nun? Some of the pastors at LBC spend many, many hours studying such filth. The better to know satan's ways and be better warriors for Christ. Let me know, ok?

**Mrs. Mary Whitford** · 01-08-2007, 03:38 AM

Re: Um, Hello.

Originally posted by Sister Talitha View Post

The DOF are presently getting hold of your Files to see if your story is true. So far, only one picture has come through.
Tell me child, is this you in the Photograph?

Menfolk, avert your eyes...........

[ATTACH]904[/ATTACH]

That's Sister Mary Katherine Consuela Siobhan Angelica. We spent a couple of weeks exploring disgusting sin because I felt sorry for her. It was tough on her being the ugly one in the convent.

Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post

Ex-sister Mary; I don't suppose you have any video footage of these "unnatural desires" that you wallowed in during your years as a young, nublie mary-worshiping nun? Some of the pastors at LBC spend many, many hours studying such filth. The better to know satan's ways and be better warriors for Christ. Let me know, ok?

There was a website, www.dykesinblackandwhite.com, that had many of the videos on it, but it's since gone offline, praise Jesus.

**Pastor Ezekiel** · 01-08-2007, 08:42 AM

Re: Um, Hello.

Originally posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post

There was a website, www.dykesinblackandwhite.com, that had many of the videos on it, but it's since gone offline, praise Jesus.

And you didn't keep ANY copies personally? No still photographs? Nothing at all??

**Mrs. Mary Whitford** · 01-08-2007, 11:55 PM

Re: Um, Hello.

Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post

And you didn't keep ANY copies personally? No still photographs? Nothing at all??

As I was leaving the convent, Father O'Dennehy confiscated everything. He said he would use it all to show the altarboys the perverseness of sin if they'd stay behind and help him clean his pipes. That last bit confused me, because the "church" had an electric organ.

**OnYourKnees** · 01-09-2007, 12:52 AM

Re: Um, Hello.

Originally posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post

As I was leaving the convent, Father O'Dennehy confiscated everything. He said he would use it all to show the altarboys the perverseness of sin if they'd stay behind and help him clean his pipes. That last bit confused me, because the "church" had an electric organ.

Perhaps he was a smoker?

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