[OnYourKnees]

Re: I'm New Here

She must have been reading it very very carefully if it had taken her half an hour...

BTW: Great idea, OYK.

How else would one read God's Holy Word, pup?

[tommy]

Re: I'm New Here

How else would one read God's Holy Word, pup?

Half an hour is definitely to much for three chapters.

[Silent Shadow]

Re: I'm New Here

Half an hour is definitely to much for three chapters.

I read it slowly and repeatedly in order to get the most out of it. I wouldn't be surprised if it took me at least a year to finish the entire Bible. But hey, at least I'm reading it, unlike the what I would have done to it before I got saved and became a True Christian (tm).

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: I'm New Here

I read it slowly and repeatedly in order to get the most out of it. I wouldn't be surprised if it took me at least a year to finish the entire Bible. But hey, at least I'm reading it, unlike the what I would have done to it before I got saved and became a True Christian (tm).

Calm down a bit there, let's not get ahead of ourselfs.
You are making good progress, but you still have a long way to go.
You are not a True Christian yet.
Patience, friend!

All things in due time, Jesus will accept you as one of His elect when the time is right.

Becoming Saved is a process, and everyone has to work for it:
But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead?
James 20:2

Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven;
But he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
Matthew 7:21

For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels;
And then he shall reward every man according to his works.
Matthew 16:27

[Silent Shadow]

Re: I'm New Here

Calm down a bit there, let's not get ahead of ourselfs.
You are making good progress, but you still have a long way to go.
You are not a True Christian yet.
Patience, friend!

All things in due time, Jesus will accept you as one of His elect when the time is right.

Becoming Saved is a process, and everyone has to work for it:
But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead?
James 20:2

Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven;
But he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
Matthew 7:21

For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels;
And then he shall reward every man according to his works.
Matthew 16:27

Good point. I'll work toward it. I have my goals in mind.

[Star Finder]

Re: I'm New Here

But hey, at least I'm reading it, unlike the what I would have done to it before I got saved and became a True Christian (tm).

Have you been hitting the PenPal Button? Tat's the only way to get saved around here. Are you sure you want to live a life of constant praying and tithing and sucking up to the pastors?

I think that just because you (claim that you) have stopped hiding in public rest rooms and doing certain dirty things to hairy unwashed men that you are all of a sudden saved and stuff. Believe me you won't be saved until the pastors perform their little "inspection" on you.

Let me tell you that that's when I escaped.

[Silent Shadow]

Re: I'm New Here

Have you been hitting the PenPal Button? Tat's the only way to get saved around here. Are you sure you want to live a life of constant praying and tithing and sucking up to the pastors?

I think that just because you (claim that you) have stopped hiding in public rest rooms and doing certain dirty things to hairy unwashed men that you are all of a sudden saved and stuff. Believe me you won't be saved until the pastors perform their little "inspection" on you.

Let me tell you that that's when I escaped.

What better way to spend your time than praying to God and tithing to God's Favorite Church? I have stopped doing what I used to. I have nothing to hide. Inspect at will.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: I'm New Here

Let me tell you that that's when I escaped.

Come now, "escaped" is not quite the same as "was rejected".

We can't help it if the Lord rules out people like you, in Leviticus 21, where He lists people not to be allowed in His Congregation:

Leviticus 21:20
Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken;

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: I'm New Here

I am a Wiccan.

You are so lucky your living in these sissified, lieberal times. Back in the good old days, Sodomite witches didn't live long enough to accept Jesus and repent their sinful ways. Whether it was an old-fashioned stoning, or a glorious bonfire sending the filthy Satan worshipper to eternal damnation with a taste of what's to come, the punishment the Lord deemed appropriate was dealt out with a firm but loving hand.
Time isn't on your side though, youngster! We are in the End Times and the Rapture will soon be upon us! And not only that, but our Godly President is doing everything he can to make this a True Christian™ nation despite Satan doing his work through millions of sinners to help the Demoncrats oppose him! When God's blessing is upon this land once again, there will be little we can do to help you if you aren't already Saved!

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: I'm New Here

When God's blessing is upon this land once again, there will be little we can do to help you if you aren't already Saved!

Well spoken, sister. (atleast as far as women can speak.)
Yes, Silent, you see what's at stake here, not only your life but also your immortal soul.
If I were you I'd hurry up, try to read atleast one book of the Bible per day.
Even better, spend all of your time reading the KJV1611 and reading the posts here.

Pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17) while you do it.
Always think about Jesus, think about nothing but Him.
Praise Him every chance you get, and you will become a Christian yet!
But please hurry, as Jesus could come back today!

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: I'm New Here

I really want to. I just have no reasons

Don't convert! Trust me, you're a lot better off where you are!

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: I'm New Here

Don't convert! Trust me, you're a lot better off where you are!

Silent, do NOT listen to this succubus!
She is only trying to drag you down into hell, in order to please her dark master satan.

Jesus will give you eternal life, Rachael will only give you lies and HIV.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: I'm New Here

Don't convert! Trust me, you're a lot better off where you are!

What other lies does Satan command you to say when you open your legs for him?

[Rev. SparkleJugs (On Moderation)]

Re: I'm New Here

What other lies does Satan command you to say when you open your legs for him?

This is a strong accusation Sister.

What proof do you have of her being the devil's whore?

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: I'm New Here

This is a strong accusation Sister.

What proof do you have of her being the devil's whore?

Van Hell-singed is a longtime self-confessed heathen. It's even there right by her name. That you don't know this makes her Satan's whore makes me question your qualifications, Reverend. Where was this church you preach at, again?