lookin for sum advice

[Jimmy C Lombardo]

how yall doing

listen, i came here cuz i got to come clean on some shameful stuff. first of all, and i know yall going to hate me for this, but i never touched a bible in my whole stinkin life. my parents were athiests and never loved me cus they drank alcohol. thats why i started drinkin it too. i ran away from home when i was 14 because i wanted to be a rock star. i wanted to be ultimate bad ass. i did some real hard stuff. me and my rock buds would gather behind old man jonsons tract pad and we shoot up and stuff and then i got hooked. i did a few rock gigs at local bars but all i wanted was the lil hunnies so ive done sum sick stuff.

now ive been all depressed and been contiplating killing myself because ive been kicked out of my trailer. i found about you guys cus i passed out on the parkin lot. when i cam to i found some paper next to me. i think it was called a chick track or sumthin like that and yur website wus writtin on the back. it was about sum guy called bad bob and he did some nasty stuff like me. ive been to jail and so had bob. but then the jail caught fire and bob almost burned. then he found jesus. i want find jesus. can jesus really love a worthless druggy like me?

jimmy lombardo

p.s. i got to go now. the librarian is looking at me funny. she probably dosent like my leather jacket and tattoos.

[Talitha]

Re: lookin for sum advice

Hello Jimmy. Welcome to our Godly Boards.
No wonder you had such a terrible life, having atheist Monkey Worshipers for parents.
It's never too late to let Jesus Christ be your Lord and Savior.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: lookin for sum advice

now ive been all depressed and been contiplating killing myself because ive been kicked out of my trailer. i found about you guys cus i passed out on the parkin lot. when i cam to i found some paper next to me. i think it was called a chick track or sumthin like that and yur website wus writtin on the back. it was about sum guy called bad bob and he did some nasty stuff like me. ive been to jail and so had bob. but then the jail caught fire and bob almost burned. then he found jesus. i want find jesus. can jesus really love a worthless druggy like me?

jimmy lombardo

p.s. i got to go now. the librarian is looking at me funny. she probably dosent like my leather jacket and tattoos.

The Good News friend is Jesus loves you worthless backside like all the sinning scum that infest this planet. Since His love is unconditional you need to tithe to His church, repent of your depravity and follow His Holy Word or He will, regretfully, toss your sinning backside into Hell. As you see even a wretch like you can be saved! GLORY!

Now hear is the first question; how much of a love gift can you give to Jesus? Remember Christ loves you very, very dearly.

[Jimmy C Lombardo]

Re: lookin for sum advice

thanks yall for yer freindly greetins. i'm more used to gettin cussed at by them local jackasses.

i cant believe jesus would really love me when he knows that ive done awful things to myself. he must have a lot of balls to die for a chump like me. yowza even i wouldnt have enough guts to be nailed to a cross like a peace of plywood and have my skins torns to shreds. how come so many folks talk junk bout guy who dies for worthless trash like me? thats just sickining.

mr bobby joe i dont have much. i only took 45 bucks from the trailer and sum food stamps. ill make my bud beaner give some cash cus im at his trailer right now. ill tell him jesus died for him so he has to give him cash or else.

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: lookin for sum advice

thanks yall for yer freindly greetins. i'm more used to gettin cussed at by them local jackasses.

i cant believe jesus would really love me when he knows that ive done awful things to myself. he must have a lot of balls to die for a chump like me. yowza even i wouldnt have enough guts to be nailed to a cross like a peace of plywood and have my skins torns to shreds. how come so many folks talk junk bout guy who dies for worthless trash like me? thats just sickining.

mr bobby joe i dont have much. i only took 45 bucks from the trailer and sum food stamps. ill make my bud beaner give some cash cus im at his trailer right now. ill tell him jesus died for him so he has to give him cash or else.

While you reek of self loathing you've come to the right place. Here you will learn that the Word of God is expressed in each and every Verse of the KJV 1611 Bible. Every single Word is the very Breath of God. You will also learn that to be Washed in the Blood of Jesus is the act of salvation. You will also find that to be able to both Believe 100% in the KJV 1611 AND be Washed in the Blood of Jesus you will need the guidance of the Pastors of Landover Baptist Church.

While I know that you are now wallowing in self hatred, there is hope. You've come to Landover Baptist Church.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[D'Arlene Sepkowitz]

Re: lookin for sum advice

how yall doing

listen, i came here cuz i got to come clean on some shameful stuff. first of all, and i know yall going to hate me for this, but i never touched a bible in my whole stinkin life. my parents were athiests and never loved me cus they drank alcohol. thats why i started drinkin it too. i ran away from home when i was 14 because i wanted to be a rock star. i wanted to be ultimate bad ass. i did some real hard stuff. me and my rock buds would gather behind old man jonsons tract pad and we shoot up and stuff and then i got hooked. i did a few rock gigs at local bars but all i wanted was the lil hunnies so ive done sum sick stuff.

now ive been all depressed and been contiplating killing myself because ive been kicked out of my trailer. i found about you guys cus i passed out on the parkin lot. when i cam to i found some paper next to me. i think it was called a chick track or sumthin like that and yur website wus writtin on the back. it was about sum guy called bad bob and he did some nasty stuff like me. ive been to jail and so had bob. but then the jail caught fire and bob almost burned. then he found jesus. i want find jesus. can jesus really love a worthless druggy like me?

jimmy lombardo

p.s. i got to go now. the librarian is looking at me funny. she probably dosent like my leather jacket and tattoos.

Jimmy, I believe I saw you sleeping it off in our back parking lot after services Sunday night. I dropped a Chick tract on you as I ran quickly to my car. Hope it helped in your quest for the Lord.

[barneyhilliard]

Re: lookin for sum advice

I am not sure that we can accept beer cans as part of your tithe. I would suggest that you cash them in before giving to God's Favorite Church.

[D'Arlene Sepkowitz]

Re: lookin for sum advice

thanks yall for yer freindly greetins. i'm more used to gettin cussed at by them local jackasses.

i cant believe jesus would really love me when he knows that ive done awful things to myself. he must have a lot of balls to die for a chump like me. yowza even i wouldnt have enough guts to be nailed to a cross like a peace of plywood and have my skins torns to shreds. how come so many folks talk junk bout guy who dies for worthless trash like me? thats just sickining.

mr bobby joe i dont have much. i only took 45 bucks from the trailer and sum food stamps. ill make my bud beaner give some cash cus im at his trailer right now. ill tell him jesus died for him so he has to give him cash or else.

Sister Bambi will be providing us with fajitas after church Sunday as a bonus for those of us who are not worthy to attend services inside the Church. Please bring your friend Beaner (he will feel at home with his kind, I am sure) and join us for lunch. Sister DeeDee

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: lookin for sum advice

Jimmy....

Good personal hygiene, grammar, spelling, and punctuation are all expected by the flock at Landover Baptist. I suggest you find a nice clean truck stop and take a nice hot shower.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[Jimmy C Lombardo]

Re: lookin for sum advice

Bro Lazerus, sorry man but I type really fast and dont think bout what I write. I went on the split shift from grade 6 but Ill remember some of it like capatilizing. Never liked school. I got lost on the sience stuff.

I know Im hatin on myself too much but I cant help it. My eyes are openin to Christs love but the deeds Ive done still been done and I cant get it all off my mind dangit. Jesus inspires me dough. Ya know what? Im good at rock n roll so now Im gonna use my talents for good! For now on my songs are gonna be about Jesus! Yeeeee haw! ROCK ON!

Mr. Barneyhillard I fro my cans on the ground becuse only homos and sissys uses the garbages. I dont got the time to go lookin for garbages. I also only carrin the stuff I need in my wheelbarrle.I have a few bottles and the licker store give me some change back for the bottles.

Miss Sepkowitz yer gonna let me be at yer church? Oh geez I'm gonna need a fancy suit and I left mine in the trailer. Beaners probably got his ol prom tux and hill let me were that.


wow I never wrote this much on a computer. Dangit Im tweekin.

[JennyD]

Re: lookin for sum advice

wow I never wrote this much on a computer. Dangit Im tweekin.

I'm sorry, Mr. Lumbago, but you will have to give up the drugs before you can visit Landover.

We don't want to risk you falling down the stairs and suing us, or trying to sell meth on church property. Ted Haggard comes for counseling every now and then, and we don't want to risk him being tempted by a forbidden fruit, do we?

However, you're still welcome to send in your donations via the PrayPal button at the bottom of the page. Be sure to convert from Canadian to American dollars, OK?