I'd like to start out by complaining...

[Kyley (On Moderation)]

I received an email stating that my account has been activated, however, unlike others who have posted introductions, I have received nothing from Pastor Ezekial asking me to do so. Praise Jesus, what have I done to be treated in this un-Godly manner?

As long as I'm on a roll here, none of the functions on my 'User CP' work, so how am I to post an appropriately pious signature line and avatar? I'm not even going to mention the beauty which would be my profile if I had the privileges one usually associates with user account activation on an internet forum. Okay, so I mentioned it.

Yes I know: pride goeth before a fall, but hey, I'm trippin'.

[Appelfap.]

Re: I'd like to start out by complaining...

You have to be a Member for an Avatar and Sig.

[Kyley (On Moderation)]

Re: I'd like to start out by complaining...

You have to be a Member for an Avatar and Sig.

Does that mean tithing through PayPal?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: I'd like to start out by complaining...

Kyle,

May I call you Kyle friend? I know it is hard at your age to understand these things but privilages will be gifted to you as Jesus sees fit. You see this is Jesus' favorite forum and He calls the shots here! PRAISE!

You might say Jesus "p0wns" this forum

So turn your posting over to Jesus and things will turn out well. GLORY!

[Kyley (On Moderation)]

Re: I'd like to start out by complaining...

Kyle,

May I call you Kyle friend? I know it is hard at your age to understand these things but privilages will be gifted to you as Jesus sees fit. You see this is Jesus' favorite forum and He calls the shots here! PRAISE!

You might say Jesus "p0wns" this forum

So turn your posting over to Jesus and things will turn out well. GLORY!

I am honored that you call me both Kyle and friend, praise Jesus and, deferring to your obvious wisdom, I have turned my posting over to Him, as it should have been and will be from now on.

[Talitha]

Re: I'd like to start out by complaining...

I received an email stating that my account has been activated, however, unlike others who have posted introductions, I have received nothing from Pastor Ezekial asking me to do so. Praise Jesus, what have I done to be treated in this un-Godly manner?

As long as I'm on a roll here, none of the functions on my 'User CP' work, so how am I to post an appropriately pious signature line and avatar? I'm not even going to mention the beauty which would be my profile if I had the privileges one usually associates with user account activation on an internet forum. Okay, so I mentioned it.

Yes I know: pride goeth before a fall, but hey, I'm trippin'.

Writing your Posts out in blood is fine as long as you are not Female and It's not your "feminine" Blood. Our Pastors have weak stomachs when it comes to "The Curse" and I wouldn't like to have to make my Messican Slave Servant have to clean it up again.

You have to earn your privileges in here friend. So, Prayer and Loving Donations to Jesus© will be a great start to earning your Reputation Points with The Lord®.

[OnYourKnees]

Re: I'd like to start out by complaining...

I received an email stating that my account has been activated, however, unlike others who have posted introductions, I have received nothing from Pastor Ezekial asking me to do so. Praise Jesus, what have I done to be treated in this un-Godly manner?

Pastor Ezekiel knew, by virtue of the Holy Spirit (and checking your IP address), that you were not a simple-minded Belgian who needed to be directed to the Introduction Forum.

Receiving such direction indicates that the receiver is not intelligent nor Godly enough to figure out the Introduction Forum on his or her own. Clearly, you are!

Welcome, Kyle!

Now, since you're in the introduction forum, could you tell us a bit about yourself, your life with Jesus, and perhaps your favorite Bible verse?

[Kyley (On Moderation)]

Re: I'd like to start out by complaining...

Pastor Ezekiel knew, by virtue of the Holy Spirit (and checking your IP address), that you were not a simple-minded Belgian who needed to be directed to the Introduction Forum.

Receiving such direction indicates that the receiver is not intelligent nor Godly enough to figure out the Introduction Forum on his or her own. Clearly, you are!

Welcome, Kyle!

Now, since you're in the introduction forum, could you tell us a bit about yourself, your life with Jesus, and perhaps your favorite Bible verse?

Oh, I am humbled and truly blessed. Thank you for the kind reassurance and thank you for your welcome!

I am a boy who lives in South Park, Colorado. We have a great show on our local public access station called "Jesus and pals" which I watch faithfully. My family consists of an Orthodox Jewish father, a negatively stereotypical Jewish mother and my baby brother Ike. My life with Jesus began when I watched Mel Gibson's masterpiece, "The Passion of the Christ" and I came to realize that it was my people (not the Romans, as some liebrals pretend) who murdered Him ... Jesus, not Gibson (although that might come soon).

It's difficult to choose but one favorite Bible verse, but I do love Revelation 22:

22:1 And he showed me a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb.
22:2 In the midst of the street of it, and on each side of the
river, [was there] the tree of life, which bore twelve [kinds
of] fruits, [and] yielded her fruit every month: and the leaves
of the tree [were] for the healing of the nations.
22:3 And there shall be no more curse: but the throne of God and
of the Lamb shall be in it; and his servants shall serve him:
22:4 And they shall see his face; and his name [shall be] in
their foreheads.
22:5 And there shall be no night there; and they need no candle,
neither light of the sun; for the Lord God giveth them light:
and they shall reign for ever and ever.
22:6 And he said to me, These sayings [are] faithful and true.
And the Lord God of the holy prophets sent his angel to show to
his servants the things which must shortly be done.
22:7 Behold, I come quickly: blessed [is] he that keepeth the
sayings of the prophecy of this book.
22:8 And I John saw these things, and heard [them]. And when I
had heard and seen, I fell down to worship before the feet of
the angel who showed me these things.
22:9 Then saith he to me, See [thou do it] not: for I am thy
fellow-servant, and of thy brethren the prophets, and of them
who keep the sayings of this book: worship God.
22:10 And he saith to me, Seal not the sayings of the prophecy
of this book: for the time is at hand.
22:11 He that is unjust, let him be unjust still: and he who is
filthy, let him be filthy still: and he that is righteous, let
him be righteous still: and he that is holy, let him be holy
still.
22:12 And behold, I come quickly; and my reward [is] with me, to
give to every man according as his work shall be.
22:13 I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first
and the last.
22:14 Blessed [are] they that do his commandments, that they may
have right to the tree of life, and may enter in through the
gates into the city.
22:15 For without [are] dogs, and sorcerers, and lewd men, and
murderers, and idolaters, and whoever loveth and maketh a lie.
22:16 I Jesus have sent my angel to testify to you these things
in the churches. I am the root and the offspring of David,
[and] the bright and morning-star.
22:17 And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that
heareth, say, Come. And let him that is thirsty, come: And
whoever will, let him take the water of life freely.
22:18 For I testify to every man that heareth the words of the
prophecy of this book, if any man shall add to these things,
God will add to him the plagues that are written in this book:
22:19 And if any man shall take away from the words of the book
of this prophecy, God will take away his part out of the book
of life, and out of the holy city, and [from] the things which
are written in this book.
22:20 He who testifieth these things saith, Surely I come
quickly: Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus.
22:21 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ [be] with you all.
Amen.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: I'd like to start out by complaining...

Oh, I am humbled and truly blessed. Thank you for the kind reassurance and thank you for your welcome!

I am a boy who lives in South Park, Colorado. We have a great show on our local public access station called "Jesus and pals" which I watch faithfully. My family consists of an Orthodox Jewish father, a negatively stereotypical Jewish mother and my baby brother Ike. My life with Jesus began when I watched Mel Gibson's masterpiece, "The Passion of the Christ" and I came to realize that it was my people (not the Romans, as some liebrals pretend) who murdered Him ... Jesus, not Gibson (although that might come soon).

It's difficult to choose but one favorite Bible verse, but I do love Revelation 22:

Do you think we're idiots? We have a watchdog group that watches television and documents anti-Christian and anti-family content so we can let advertisers know what kind of filth they're helping to propagate. Matt Stone and Trey Parker are both doomed to Hell, as is anyone who gleefully watches their trash and pretends to be a character from the show.
The only authority you need to respect is God's!

[Kyley (On Moderation)]

Re: I'd like to start out by complaining...

Do you think we're idiots? We have a watchdog group that watches television and documents anti-Christian and anti-family content so we can let advertisers know what kind of filth they're helping to propagate. Matt Stone and Trey Parker are both doomed to Hell, as is anyone who gleefully watches their trash and pretends to be a character from the show.
The only authority you need to respect is God's!

You didn't know that South Park is a real city? Stone and Parker make their money from unGodly Hollyweird by making us into a cartoon.

I most certainly agree that the only authori-tah I need to respect is God's ... and certainly not the ravings of a woman. Oh wait: are you on the rag? If so, I understand your emotional outburst and wish you a speedy recovery so you can return to the other 3 weeks of each month when PMS, rather than the curse, enables you to perform your gender-appropriate duties.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: I'd like to start out by complaining...

You didn't know that South Park is a real city? Stone and Parker make their money from unGodly Hollyweird by making us into a cartoon.

I most certainly agree that the only authori-tah I need to respect is God's ... and certainly not the ravings of a woman. Oh wait: are you on the rag? If so, I understand your emotional outburst and wish you a speedy recovery so you can return to the other 3 weeks of each month when PMS, rather than the curse, enables you to perform your gender-appropriate duties.

If you were a True Christian™ instead of an obvious liar, I'd maybe take you seriously. South Park is a blasphemy. Lazarus was brought back from the dead by Jesus, and Jesus Himself came back to life after being temporarily dead for three days. Yet how often has this "Kenny" been brought back to life, and without Christ?

[OnYourKnees]

Re: I'd like to start out by complaining...

You didn't know that South Park is a real city? Stone and Parker make their money from unGodly Hollyweird by making us into a cartoon.

I most certainly agree that the only authori-tah I need to respect is God's ... and certainly not the ravings of a woman. Oh wait: are you on the rag? If so, I understand your emotional outburst and wish you a speedy recovery so you can return to the other 3 weeks of each month when PMS, rather than the curse, enables you to perform your gender-appropriate duties.

A True Christian woman stands head and shoulders above any Unsaved Trash, Kyle, and you'd do well to remember your place at Landover!

Now, get with the bio-rewriting!

[Kyley (On Moderation)]

Re: I'd like to start out by complaining...

A True Christian woman stands head and shoulders above any Unsaved Trash, Kyle, and you'd do well to remember your place at Landover!

Now, get with the bio-rewriting!

You are pathetic!

You send me 2 private messages, each notifying me of 1 supposed infraction each, yet because I don't have the "privilege" of sending private messages, you leave me no way to respond to you.

This could be a good forum, however, it is not. A joke is a joke, but the race-baiting and hatefulness is palpable here.

Therefore, I not only will not give you a bio but I also will not return to this site which is actually on a par with WAR (White Aryan Nation). Shame on you!

[OnYourKnees]

Re: I'd like to start out by complaining...

You are pathetic!

You send me 2 private messages, each notifying me of 1 supposed infraction each, yet because I don't have the "privilege" of sending private messages, you leave me no way to respond to you.

This could be a good forum, however, it is not.

Therefore, I not only will not give you a bio but I also will not return to this site which is actually on a par with WAR (White Aryan Nation). Shame on you!

Actually, that's how the infraction system works. I can't send you private messages any more than you can send them to me. Only a Pastor has that ability. Sorry to burst your righteous-indignation bubble.

If you'd bothered to read the infraction notices, you'd understand what is expected of you.

We on this, God's Favorite Forum, share the Truth about the Word of God, and how God and Jesus are therein described. If you don't care for that, I suggest you take it up with God.

However, you came in to this Forum, pretending to be a character from a vile and anti-Christian cartoon program. For some reason, you thought either that we were too culturally inept to understand the reference, or that we'd find it delightfully charming. In either case, your belief was woefully inaccurate.

I'm sorry that you're disappointed with what you found, but I will remind you that nobody forced you to come here. You did so of your own free will, knowing this is a Baptist Church site, and knowing that you were going to pretend to be a cartoon Jew and try to bait US.

Before you cast stones, little boy, I suggest you review your own deceitful behavior and see if you can determine where you went wrong.