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  • #1

    Father Lester is my spiritual father

    Hi, I'm new here. My heart has been yearning for a place to work out some of my problems with faith. Father Lester told me about Landover, and I think I will try it a bit.

    He says that my faith is a little bit eclectic, but that my heart is in the right place. First off, does any one know what eclectic is.

    I express my devotion to Mary Magdaline, by following in her footsteps. I mean, she used to do Jesus! how cool is that! If HE was with us in the flesh today I think I'd give him a freebie. really I would.

    So, I work as a prostitute to honor Mary, but I'm still a virgin.

    its kinda complicated, but I'll see if I can explaine. See, I read the bible (oops the Bible sorry) anyway, it says that God made man in his own image, and that Jesus is lord, and that man shouldn't waste his seed. Jesus said that communion is HIS body. Also sperm is what makes babies come out.

    So I sat down with all that, and finally figured it out. See its really pretty simple. God makes man in his image...really means that men are sort of like a little tiny PIECE of God that looks like him. Now, he didn't really make a lot of men, I think only Adam right? so anyway, then how did the little God-piece get into everybody else? it was because of sperm. Simple. So sperm is the part of man that has the God stuff in it. And then there's communion, and just put two and two together and there it is. The most easy way to make your jesus connection is to go right to the source, and get it there.

    So I figured out that accepting the body of Christ means to, you know, make the sperm come out into my mouth. Not let it just go on the floor or dirt. That would be a sin. And it does help when guys want to go for the ...you know. God says I have to cherish my body as a temple. A temple to honor God. God will choose who goes to my temple, and I'll know when He gives me the sign. Anyway, guys sort of don't push the issue if I ask them to give me communion instead. whew. There's been close calls though.

    So anyway I have been saving up the body of God, one guy at a time, and pretty soon I'll have a pretty big piece of him. by adding up all the little pieces. I've worked hard and I'm pretty far along. Father Lester has been helping too. I have to get another 2051 guys. Don't worry, I already did the math...you don't have to. I figure by the time I'm 29 I'll have pretty much covered it. I hope my husband doesn't mind...if I get married before I get there, that is. I'm saving myself for him, you know, so I have a special gift for him. Only him.

    so anyway enough about me. who are you?

    thanks and god bless

    vw

    (sometimes I sign my name vw and sometimes vh. its like a whim or something.)
    Ezekiel 23:20: For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.
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  • #2
    Re: Father Lester is my spiritual father

    You don't make much sense, but then.. that is to expect with women.
    You need to stop this vile consumption of unborn souls, repent, and accept Jesus! NOW!!

    And get as far away from Lester as possible! Altough.. Lester is a fitting name for a cathylick.
    Because, as we all know, all cathylicks are cannibals who like to pretend they eat real flesh during their unholy communions.
    Last edited by SalvationSeeker; 02-17-2007, 05:50 AM.
    If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
    A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
    Proverbs 9:12-13

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    • #3
      Re: Father Lester is my spiritual father

      Hi SalvationSeeker.

      Your confusioning me (sorry i make up words sometimes its a fun game). Maybey if I explaine like Father Maurice did, it will make more sense.

      See, each person, each man, is like a tiny little pixel on a diamond vision screen at the superbowl, and is made like God for God by God. If you look at only one pixel, it doesn't look like God really....but sort of. like a God-microcosm. I had to look that one up when Father was explaining. So anyway, as you start getting a LOT of the little God-pixels together, it starts to look more like a picture of God instead of just a bunch of tiny pixels (like your COMPUTER screen!!!!) So i'm working to fill in the pixels. One by one I accept the seed of the descendants of Adam, the guy who was made by the guy who started it all, then took a break for a while then came back as Jesus but that went away again, but he's just taking some time off he'll be back for sure.

      Right now that picture doesn't have enough pixels and its not clear. but every day, every hour of every day, i can work and submit to jesus and someday the picture will be complete and I'll gaze on it in wonder and acceptance and joy.

      kinda...

      vw
      Ezekiel 23:20: For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

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      • #4
        Re: Father Lester is my spiritual father

        John 8:13-18 says that if I'm with God, then he is my witness. I truly love God as a woman loves a man, and by His witness I testify that I am a prostitute, but only in the figurative sense. I don't do it for myself, but for God. For Him.

        See, once I figured out about the seed of God thing, and communion, I embarked on a journey to fulfill my duty to GOD, but I had a lot of trouble with it.

        See, even though I'm a bit of a cuty...guys do check me out a lot, and on average I'm better than average I think, my looks that is...its weird. When I started going out and trying to find descendants of Adam to take communion from, I would walk up to them and say, "can I minister to you as your servant, and accept your seed in my mouth, to bring myself closer to God?", they'd almost NEVER let me. In fact, they mostly moved away from me as fast as they could. FInally, one day I got very frustrated. I walked up to a guy on the street, and in despair said "hey, I'll give you a blowjob for 5 bucks". It was like I had lit a lantern in a dark room. Suddenly, I was in business, and I had no problem at all getting sons of adam to cooperate with my quest.

        So, one thing I'm not clear on, is AM I USING THEM? is that immoral? Do they have to be 'on-board' with my quest?

        I kinda figgure that the ends justify the means, and yet I wonder if what is going on is like putting temptation in front of those who can't resist. If they don't resist, are they fallen? Am I ruining them, just to put myself in Heaven? I don't know...there's so many questions.

        Father Lester is the one who put this problem in front of me. I figured that he, being a man of God, would help my quest...but he declined when I took the attitude of the supplicant before his powerful loins. He seemed disinterested...or maybey it was the sacramental wine he'd shared with me...but I realized that he refused because he was strong, and knew that the temptation was before him, and that he had a conflict of opinion.

        By the way, most of the time, the hundreds of dollars I take in a day in my quest, I just walk a block, and drop it on the sidewalk. Someone finds it. It helps sometimes too in my quest. Son of Adam finds a fiver on the sidewalk, and a pretty girl offers him a hummer for a fiver. It has to be divine providence, right?

        Every day, I'm getting closer to Jesus.

        vw
        Ezekiel 23:20: For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

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        • #5
          Re: Father Lester is my spiritual father

          Originally posted by virginWhore View Post
          and yet I wonder if what is going on is like putting temptation in front of those who can't resist. If they don't resist, are they fallen?
          It's not that men can't resist, it's just that men have a superior ability to demonstrate love unconditionally; even to a whore like yourself.

          And no, the men are not fallen. It's the woman's fault. Here's a passage from the Bible where Judah ordered his pregnant slut daughter in law to be burnt.

          Genesis 38:24
          And it came to pass about three months after, that it was told Judah, saying, Tamar thy daughter in law hath played the harlot; and also, behold, she is with child by whoredom. And Judah said, Bring her forth, and let her be burnt.

          We do have a prostitute ministry at Landover attended to by the finest Baptist preachers you have ever met. The waiting list to get on this ministry is so long that only God's elect are chosen. If you'd like to send me some pictures (or video) of your sin's I will pass them on to the Pastor's so they can pray over them. We're here to help at Landover so let us know if you need anything.

          Dean

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          • #6
            Re: Father Lester is my spiritual father

            Originally posted by Deaner View Post
            It's not that men can't resist, it's just that men have a superior ability to demonstrate love unconditionally; even to a whore like yourself.
            virgin whore. I'm a virgin.

            And no, the men are not fallen. It's the woman's fault. Here's a passage from the Bible where Judah ordered his pregnant slut daughter in law to be burnt.

            Genesis 38:24
            And it came to pass about three months after, that it was told Judah, saying, Tamar thy daughter in law hath played the harlot; and also, behold, she is with child by whoredom. And Judah said, Bring her forth, and let her be burnt.


            well thats good anyway. I was really worried that I was making a big mistake. But your giving me clarity that I'm not. Thanks very much. unless my esophagus is connected to my fallopian tubes, I should be ok on that pregnancy thing.
            We do have a prostitute ministry at Landover attended to by the finest Baptist preachers you have ever met. The waiting list to get on this ministry is so long that only God's elect are chosen. If you'd like to send me some pictures (or video) of your sin's I will pass them on to the Pastor's so they can pray over them. We're here to help at Landover so let us know if you need anything.

            Dean
            thanks for you help. I have a warm feeling about this fourm.

            vw
            Ezekiel 23:20: For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Father Lester is my spiritual father

              Originally posted by virginWhore View Post
              virgin whore. I'm a virgin.
              To paraphrase,

              A whore is a whore,
              fo' shore, fo' shore.

              And I do believe God will agree.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Father Lester is my spiritual father

                Hi, thanks for caring.


                Sorry, its late, its been a busy day.


                I'm tired but energized with the spirit of the lord Jesus.


                did you know that diet has a very big effect on the Son of Adam's seed?


                ...lotta coffee drinkers today, if I'm not mistaken. I'm wired up like a Christmas tree.

                vw
                Ezekiel 23:20: For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Father Lester is my spiritual father

                  I just looked up the word eclectic. I thought I knew what it meant.


                  the Father called me a silly little nutbar, didn't he?


                  I'm beginning to think he hasn't been totally upfront with me. Maybey his motivation is to protect me, but I'm feeling a little let down. Is the truth so hard?


                  vw
                  Ezekiel 23:20: For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Father Lester is my spiritual father

                    Daddy Mole? Your "Spiritual Father?!"

                    Just don't bend over in the confessional if you are wearing any clothing that might be mistaken for Mens'

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                    • #11
                      Re: Father Lester is my spiritual father

                      Father Lester is after all a man, and man is flesh, and flesh is weak.
                      Matthew 26:41


                      but temptation is below purity of purpose, and the Father has purity of purpose. besides, you'd have to be blind to mistake my ass for a boy's, especially in jeans.

                      1 Samuel 12:3


                      vw
                      Ezekiel 23:20: For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Father Lester is my spiritual father

                        u were nice to me n thank u for than n i like u to but i dun think u should be a prostitute coz its dangerous n i dun want u to get hurt or get aids or killed by a sicko..............if u want to get out of it i can look online for help too get u out of it safely..............
                        sigpic

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                        • #13
                          Re: Father Lester is my spiritual father

                          1 Corinthians 14:38


                          vw
                          Ezekiel 23:20: For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Father Lester is my spiritual father

                            thank you fallen angel for your concern.


                            I practice the carnal arts and profession as a tool in my quest to know the body of God and his Son on earth, through the blessed seed of man.

                            If I have notice of other physical needs, such as the need for a double cocoa latte brio on the rocks with cinnamon, I just reach in to my purse and tap into my multi-million dollar trust fund that my robber-baron great-great grandfather bequeathed to me. As I understand it, my trust fund dwarfs by an order of magnitude the rather generous charitable trust established in his name.

                            Thank you, though.

                            So...anyway...today was an interesting day. Its not every day that you take communion from a man in the morning, and see him on C-span later that day.

                            may he burn in hell for his vote against our troops.

                            hehehe

                            vw
                            Ezekiel 23:20: For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Father Lester is my spiritual father

                              So let me see if I understand this...you give men blowjobs for money but not sex?
                              Trying to sift through all that temple/pixel stuff was beginning to give me a migraine.
                              sigpic
                              Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

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