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  • #1

    Greetings

    Greetings to all you fine folks of the Landover Baptist Church.

    It seemed that a wonderful community has grown here and I thought perhaps I would see about joining it. So here I am now.

    I am not sure what information I can give that I am sure Jesus does not already know so I will leave any questions up to the community here.

    Have a nice day
    High Fives And Good Times
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Greetings

    Your avatar look suspiciously like a unrepentant homosessal. It look like... what's his name... Queenie Mercury. That man had died of the AIDS due to God's judgment upon his sodomite behind. PRAISE! If that man in the avatar is you, I would direct you to the Straight 4 Jesus board. In order to join this Church, you has to be Saved, and that mean repenting of sodomite behavior! Praise Jesus!
    sigpic
    "He went on CNN and he laughed at us, and he said, 'They'll never get me because Allah will protect me. Allah will protect me.' Well, you know what? I knew that my God was bigger than his. I knew that my God was a real God and his was an idol." - Lt. General William G. Boykin

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Greetings

      Originally posted by Homeslice513 View Post
      Greetings to all you fine folks of the Landover Baptist Church.

      It seemed that a wonderful community has grown here and I thought perhaps I would see about joining it. So here I am now.

      I am not sure what information I can give that I am sure Jesus does not already know so I will leave any questions up to the community here.

      Have a nice day
      In order to set up a regular tithe, it'd be helpful if you could reveal your bank details to one of the Pastors. In a PM, obviously, doing so on a public board would leave you open to all sorts of predators and tricksters.
      O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



      God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Greetings

        Originally posted by Lateefah Yomama View Post
        Your avatar look suspiciously like a unrepentant homosessal.
        You could be right Sister and time will tell...even his username sounds like a code for some kind of homer sexual position.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Greetings

          Günther aye? If you're a fan of songs like "You Touch My Tralala" or "Teeny Weeny String Bikini", then I guess you're not a proper Christian.
          Repent of your ways before it is too late!

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Greetings

            Originally posted by Homeslice513 View Post
            Greetings to all you fine folks of the Landover Baptist Church.

            It seemed that a wonderful community has grown here and I thought perhaps I would see about joining it. So here I am now.

            I am not sure what information I can give that I am sure Jesus does not already know so I will leave any questions up to the community here.

            Have a nice day
            Hello, Slice.

            This might be a more appropriate avatar until you find something to replace "Gunther Mercury" there:



            Now, a couple of standard questions -- what manner of church do you attend? What's your favorite version of the King James 1611 Bible (hard or soft cover? Large-print?)? How long have you been Saved?

            Do you have a favorite Bible verse or story, and if so, what is it?

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Greetings

              Originally posted by Homeslice513 View Post
              Greetings to all you fine folks of the Landover Baptist Church.

              It seemed that a wonderful community has grown here and I thought perhaps I would see about joining it. So here I am now.

              I am not sure what information I can give that I am sure Jesus does not already know so I will leave any questions up to the community here.

              Have a nice day
              Hello friend!

              I suppose the first question for you have you accept Jesus as your personal savior?

              Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

              Hot Must ReadThreads!


              Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Greetings

                Well let me start off with saying that I am not involved with any kind of homer activities or at least not as of yet or that I know of.

                But I have heard this is the place to find the real Jesus as I have not been saved.

                I did attend a baptist church in my youth but left before I was baptized or at least baptized by my own decision.

                And I see Gunther was recognized and even knew some songs. So if I find Jesus I would need to lose Gunther?
                High Fives And Good Times

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Greetings

                  Originally posted by Homeslice513 View Post
                  Well let me start off with saying that I am not involved with any kind of homer activities or at least not as of yet or that I know of.

                  But I have heard this is the place to find the real Jesus as I have not been saved.

                  I did attend a baptist church in my youth but left before I was baptized or at least baptized by my own decision.

                  And I see Gunther was recognized and even knew some songs. So if I find Jesus I would need to lose Gunther?
                  At a minimum.

                  Have you found your favorite Bible verse to share with us?

                  Have you clicked on the Paypal button at the bottom of this page yet? Jesus needs a new pair of shoes!
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Greetings

                    Originally posted by Homeslice513 View Post
                    But I have heard this is the place to find the real Jesus as I have not been saved.
                    It is good friend that you have come to Christ's favorite form to learn THE TRUTH™ and not some hippy love & UFO contactee cult like the Mormons. I rejoice the time will come soon when you will go down on your knees before Him, open yourself and be filled with His glory. Do not tarry friend, Jesus is returning soon and unless you are one of His chosen elect you will not get raptured.

                    Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                    Hot Must ReadThreads!


                    Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Greetings

                      Perhaps you'd care to explain to us, Homeslice, how YOU see God, and Jesus, and your thoughts on the crucifixion and resurrection?

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Greetings

                        Well as far as a favorite verse goes, I don't really have one at the moment. I know there is some good stuff in there just nothing off the top of my head sticks out. But as I read the bible more, I am sure something will speak to me.

                        Well, I have never really seen God or Jesus but I have talked with them on occassion. They usually don't have much to say back or at least I haven't heard them.

                        Also I am trying to find out what the Easter Bunny has to do with Jesus' resurrection.
                        High Fives And Good Times

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Greetings

                          Originally posted by Homeslice513 View Post
                          Also I am trying to find out what the Easter Bunny has to do with Jesus' resurrection.
                          Not a thing, which is why we despise it with all righteous indignation.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Greetings

                            Originally posted by OnYourKnees View Post
                            Not a thing, which is why we despise it with all righteous indignation.
                            I can understand that.

                            Jesus 1 Easter Bunny 0
                            High Fives And Good Times

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