Hello Brothers and Sisters

[Warrior in Christ]

I am here to join all of you in Christian fellowship and learn the ways of a True Christian™. I am here as a Warrior of Christ, ready to battle homers, mooselimbs, joos, wiccians, and all other sorts of heatens that dare attempt(though they can't do nothin to Jesus) to make a mockery of Christianity. One day after this life of pious living I hope to kneel before Jesus and have him spray me with his love and righteousness.

My favorite piece of God's word has to be Isaiah 13:13-16,

Isaiah 13:13-16 – "13 Therefore I will make the heavens tremble; and the earth will shake from its place at the wrath of the LORD Almighty, in the day of his burning anger. 14 Like a hunted gazelle, like sheep without a shepherd, each will return to his own people, each will flee to his native land. 15 Whoever is captured will be thrust through; all who are caught will fall by the sword. 16 Their infants will be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses will be looted and their wives ravished."

I know that others have lost sight of the ways of Christianity, I come before you a humble servant of God and implore you to teach me the True ways.

God Bless,

Warrior in Christ

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello Brothers and Sisters

Well Praise Jesus and welcome Brother! We are always happy to welcome well-armed young soldiers into the visiting section of our church. I can see that you know your Bible well, except you are using a false version....

Please feel free to look around the various threads here and get to know God's favorite church. Ask questions.

What branch of the service are you in exactly, son? Have you seen much action for Christ? We'd all like to hear about how many mudslime terrorist sand nigras you sent to hell.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Hello Brothers and Sisters

Dear friend:

If you truly wish to learn about True Christianity™, then I bid you welcome in Christ's abundant love. Nonetheless, I notice that you have linked to the New International Perversion. We use God's true Word, the King James Bible, and I hope that you will use it as well as you grow in the Lord.

Yours in Christ,
MSTT

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Hello Brothers and Sisters

Oh GLORY!

A new Brother in Christ! Welcome to GOD'S Favorite Church and GOD'S Favorite Forum Brother Warrior!

Thank you for serving and defending GOD'S Favorite Country. We are very proud of you. Your sending so many towel heads to Hell is also very impressive.

Tell me, are you single? The congregation could use some new handsome brothers.

Nice to meet you.

Lve, Sister Thumper

[Sista Lateefah]

Re: Hello Brothers and Sisters

Praise!

A man of God always be welcome, especially in times like this when so much unsaved trash have done did invaded the place!

[Warrior in Christ]

Re: Hello Brothers and Sisters

Why yes Sister, I am single. I am open to any Christian fellowship and I would happily escort a young and beautiful virgin woman such as yourself to a Sunday service or maybe even a True Christian™ Bible study.

I've noticed the recent insurgence of non-believers, heathens, and homers on this site. I only Pray that God will end their lives or open their eyes to the ways of the LORD. If not, I will happily rid of them myself, using the Word as it is commanded as my guide and my M-16A2 Semi-Automatic rifle as a tool of the LORD. I do remember the following:

Deuteronomy 13:12-16 "13 Certain men, the children of Belial, are gone out from among you, and have withdrawn the inhabitants of their city, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which ye have not known;
14 Then shalt thou inquire, and make search, and ask diligently; and, behold, if it be truth, and the thing certain, that such abomination is wrought among you; 15 Thou shalt surely smite the inhabitants of that city with the edge of the sword, destroying it utterly, and all that is therein, and the cattle thereof, with the edge of the sword.
16 And thou shalt gather all the spoil of it into the midst of the street thereof, and shalt burn with fire the city, and all the spoil thereof every whit, for the LORD thy God: and it shall be an heap for ever; it shall not be built again."

Now, I understand the True Christian™ community to be a perfect one, one that is directly blessed by God. But what of the surrounding communities? Maybe it's time to do some cleansing Brothers and Sisters?

God Bless,

Warrior in Christ

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Hello Brothers and Sisters

Now, I understand the True Christian™ community to be a perfect one, one that is directly blessed by God. But what of the surrounding communities? Maybe it's time to do some cleansing Brothers and Sisters?

God Bless,

Warrior in Christ

Perhaps, certainly that nest of Mennonite savages needs to be cleared out. But do remember we have to obey secular law and since Satan interference with the last state election in Iowa are influence has been limited in Des Moines lately.

[Talitha]

Re: Hello Brothers and Sisters

Why yes Sister, I am single. I am open to any Christian fellowship and I would happily escort a young and beautiful virgin woman such as yourself to a Sunday service or maybe even a True Christian™ Bible study.

Does a True Christian™ Born-Again-Virgin count?
I happen to be a Triple Platinum Tither here, and along with Sister Thumper get first Dibs would love to meet you.

[Warrior in Christ]

Re: Hello Brothers and Sisters

Perhaps, certainly that nest of Mennonite savages needs to be cleared out. But do remember we have to obey secular law and since Satan interference with the last state election in Iowa are influence has been limited in Des Moines lately.

I'm quite sure we can attribute these problems to the latest demoncrat uprising in congress. These probing operations are most certainly the work of joos and homers under the influence of satan.

Sister Talitha, God will guide me and seeing as you're a True Christian™ Born-Again-Virgin, I can look past your previous transgressions against Christ and join you in some good, clean True Christian™ fellowship. Together we can all feel the love of Christ.

God Bless,

Warrior in Christ

[Brother V]

Re: Hello Brothers and Sisters

I'm quite sure we can attribute these problems to the latest demoncrat uprising in congress. These probing operations are most certainly the work of joos and homers under the influence of satan.

Sister Talitha, God will guide me and seeing as you're a True Christian™ Born-Again-Virgin, I can look past your previous transgressions against Christ and join you in some good, clean True Christian™ fellowship. Together we can all feel the love of Christ.

God Bless,

Warrior in Christ

Dearest (and newest) possible Brother in Christ, Warrior in Christ:

Your signature has a verse listed in it, but it's not KJV1611.

Do not withhold discipline from a child. If you beat him with a rod, he will not die. If you beat him with the rod, you will save his life from Sheol.
Proverbs 23:13-14

is your verse, but when I look up Proverbs 23:13-14 it says this:

13Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

14Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

I think you should go to the preferences page on Biblegateway, and set your version to KJV and have it "Always use my preferred version"

Biblegateway Preferences

YIC
V

[Warrior in Christ]

Re: Hello Brothers and Sisters

Dearest (and newest) possible Brother in Christ, Warrior in Christ:

Your signature has a verse listed in it, but it's not KJV1611.

Do not withhold discipline from a child. If you beat him with a rod, he will not die. If you beat him with the rod, you will save his life from Sheol.
Proverbs 23:13-14

is your verse, but when I look up Proverbs 23:13-14 it says this:

13Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

14Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

I think you should go to the preferences page on Biblegateway, and set your version to KJV and have it "Always use my preferred version"

Biblegateway Preferences

YIC
V

Dearest Brother in Christ,

Thank you for your suggestion. I have now implemented this change. It seems as though the agents of satan and false doctrine have published multiple works claiming to be the word of God and I was tricked. Never again Brother! Thank you for showing me the light. Maybe the aftershock of killing so many mudslime sand nigra towelheads has caused my True sight to become a bit lax. I will fight these grevious mistakes in the future and make sure I'm referencing KJV1611 from now on, so as to make sure I am testifying to the true word of God!

God Bless,

Warrior in Christ