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  • Hello, fellow patriots!

    First off, let me say that I am just happier than a mudslime at a Demoncrat Convention to find you like-minded followers of Our Lord And Savior Jesus Christ.

    I'm speaking to you from Alaska, the land of that great American and Christian Sarah Palin. I just thought I'd take some time out from keeping watch over our godless heathen neighbors to the west to say a howdy-doo to all of you nice Christian folks, and that I look forward to walking along with you in good ol' Christian fellowship.

    My favorite Bible passage: 1 Samuel 18:25-27

    "Saul replied, "Say to David, 'The king wants no other price for the bride than a hundred Philistine foreskins, to take revenge on his enemies.' " Saul's plan was to have David fall by the hands of the Philistines.
    26 When the attendants told David these things, he was pleased to become the king's son-in-law. So before the allotted time elapsed, 27 David and his men went out and killed two hundred Philistines. He brought their foreskins and presented the full number to the king so that he might become the king's son-in-law. Then Saul gave him his daughter Michal in marriage."

    Maybe if we started cuttin off godless wieners like in the Bible the terrorists wouldn't be winning right now. God bless you and God bless America.
    The only thing Barack Insane Obama and Jesus Christ have in common is neither one have a birth certificate.

  • #2
    Re: Hello, fellow patriots!

    1Sa:18:25: And Saul said, Thus shall ye say to David, The king desireth not any dowry, but an hundred foreskins of the Philistines, to be avenged of the king's enemies. But Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines.
    1Sa:18:26: And when his servants told David these words, it pleased David well to be the king's son in law: and the days were not expired.
    1Sa:18:27: Wherefore David arose and went, he and his men, and slew of the Philistines two hundred men; and David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in full tale to the king, that he might be the king's son in law. And Saul gave him Michal his daughter to wife.


    Bible verses come from the Bible KJV1611, not some travesty of the Word of God corrupted by the stench of The Mother of Whoredoms, the NIV.

    I doubt you are American, let alone patriotic. Are you a minion of the anti-Christ, the vicar of Rome?
    sigpic


    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Hello, fellow patriots!

      What do you want 100 foreskins for? Are you some kind of homer?
      May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Hello, fellow patriots!

        Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
        1Sa:18:25: And Saul said, Thus shall ye say to David, The king desireth not any dowry, but an hundred foreskins of the Philistines, to be avenged of the king's enemies. But Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines.
        1Sa:18:26: And when his servants told David these words, it pleased David well to be the king's son in law: and the days were not expired.
        1Sa:18:27: Wherefore David arose and went, he and his men, and slew of the Philistines two hundred men; and David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in full tale to the king, that he might be the king's son in law. And Saul gave him Michal his daughter to wife.

        Bible verses come from the Bible KJV1611, not some travesty of the Word of God corrupted by the stench of The Mother of Whoredoms, the NIV.

        I doubt you are American, let alone patriotic. Are you a minion of the anti-Christ, the vicar of Rome?
        Well I'll be cowkicked... I had no idea. You mean all this time I been using a contaminated Bible?

        It is good news indeed that I have been drawn here by The Lord God himself. I will never ever profane his Word again. I beg y'all's forgiveness.
        The only thing Barack Insane Obama and Jesus Christ have in common is neither one have a birth certificate.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Hello, fellow patriots!

          Burn it, see a good baptist Pastor, ask for a KJV1611, show him the ashes of the NIV. No wonder Baby Jesus has guided your fingers to Landover.

          Now, to business; how many sons do you have? How many of them are Pastors? (None I should suspect!) What do you consider the greatest danger to America today?
          sigpic


          “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

          Author of such illuminating essays as,
          Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Hello, fellow patriots!

            Mr.Jones,
            I may have to warn you,if you have not already figured,that this site is complete b******t.
            Last edited by Pastor Ezekiel; 11-06-2009, 10:57 PM. Reason: profanity edited

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Hello, fellow patriots!

              The NIV was changed to make way for Godless agendas like homasexual priests and feminism. The only trustworthy Bible is the KJV1611. It has not changed since, well, 1611!
              Upon the wicked he shall rain snares, fire and brimstone, and an horrible tempest: this shall be the portion of their cup. (Psalm 11:6)

              GOD HATES FAGS
              Romans 1:18-32, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, 1 Timothy 1:8-11, Jude 7, etc
              DEATH PENALTY FOR FAGS

              WHITE AND PROUD

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Hello, fellow patriots!

                Originally posted by Charles James View Post
                Mr.Jones,
                I may have to warn you,if you have not already figured,that this site is complete b******t.
                Are you off your meds again, Charlie?

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Hello, fellow patriots!

                  Welcome to God's favorite forum, Mr. Ed. I hope that you'll take a look at our Church Doctrines so that you might get a better understanding of what we're about here at Landover Baptist.

                  If you are interested in gaining a deeper knowledge of why the KJV Bible is the ONLY true and authentic source of God's Holy Word, you might want to read my sermon on the subject HERE. I pray that it will infuse the Holy Spirit in your unsaved carcass.

                  Please tell us about yourself. How old are you? What's your wife's best pie? What's your pastor's name? I may know him.
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Hello, fellow patriots!

                    Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
                    Burn it, see a good baptist Pastor, ask for a KJV1611, show him the ashes of the NIV. No wonder Baby Jesus has guided your fingers to Landover.

                    Now, to business; how many sons do you have? How many of them are Pastors? (None I should suspect!) What do you consider the greatest danger to America today?
                    Well, I'm a bit ashamed to admit it but the Lord God has not seen fit to grace me and my wife with children. The atheist doctor my wife sees said something about PC... something or other, and I flat-out told him to keep that liberal bullpuckey to hisself. I've spent many a nights on the front porch with myself, my shotgun, and God praying for him to bless us with children but nothing yet. Maybe that False Bible mighta had something to do with it?

                    The greatest danger to America today in my opinion is atheism. All sorts of vile sins come from it: Communism/Socialism, Naziism, and Islamism.

                    What do you want 100 foreskins for? Are you some kind of homer?
                    No sir, I am not or ever will be a homersexual. I just think that making Godless liberals snip their wieners like God intended is a good idea. Even if you have to kill them first.

                    Mr.Jones,
                    I may have to warn you,if you have not already figured,that this site is complete bullshit.Mr.Jones,
                    I may have to warn you,if you have not already figured,that this site is complete bullshit. Today 01:23 PM
                    Get thee behind me, Satan.
                    The only thing Barack Insane Obama and Jesus Christ have in common is neither one have a birth certificate.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Hello, fellow patriots!

                      Originally posted by Brother Avatar View Post
                      Are you off your meds again, Charlie?

                      {quoted from a "infraction I just recieved from brother E }"Secondly, while the internets might seem to be "free" to you, this particular corner of the internets is a privately owned Christian forum."



                      Well make it a pay site, if you don't wish to have people come here and speak/write their thoughts.

                      Edit: Or we could just edit your posts -- Wash O'Hanley
                      Last edited by Wash O'Hanley; 11-07-2009, 02:42 AM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Hello, fellow patriots!

                        Originally posted by Charles James View Post
                        Well make it a pay site, if you don't wish to have people come here and speak/write their thoughts.
                        Do let me know when you have one of those.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Hello, fellow patriots!

                          Originally posted by Brother Avatar
                          Charlie, Charlie, an original thought - not a link to someone else's thoughts.

                          I'll not be holding my breath.
                          Well my original thought,that has still not been answerd from last night still exist.,,,,Where in the Bible does it state that America is God's favorite country? And don't give me some bullshit line about how dare I start a debate. Just show me. Also don't throw that KJV116161"whatever" line at me. All you true"christian" clam to live by the word of God. So I would assume God spoke perfect english. Hence it must be "spoken" in the KJV*** that America is his favorite country.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Hello, fellow patriots!

                            Originally posted by Charles James View Post
                            Well my original thought,that has still not been answerd from last night still exist.,,,,Where in the Bible does it state that America is God's favorite country?
                            America is the greatest country on earth. God is the ultimate creator and author of all things that occur on earth. If we use this sound reasoning, it is abundantly obvious that God therefore created America in his image.

                            And don't give me some bullshit line about how dare I start a debate.
                            You don't want a debate, I assure you. I chew up and spit out small fries like you for breakfast. I've been master debating since I was 12 and ever since I was in college I've master debated at least 3 times a day. To achieve such an amazing master debating talent I've had to seclude myself for long periods of time, often isolating myself from family and loved ones, all in the pursuit of being know as the foremost authority on master debating.

                            Just show me. Also don't throw that KJV116161"whatever" line at me. All you true"christian" clam to live by the word of God. So I would assume God spoke perfect english.
                            Something you apparently don't.


                            Hence it must be "spoken" in the KJV*** that America is his favorite country.
                            Go look at an American flag gently flapping in the breeze and just try to not get an erection. I dare you. I can't do that. What is it that causes such patriotic men like me to get such raging boners when we look at the American flag? Obviously that's God holding up my penis, there's no other explanation.
                            sigpic

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Hello, fellow patriots!

                              Charles, if you ever bothered to touch a Bible, you would see America is mentioned countless times within it!



                              Read that, then read the Bible, then understand!

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